Whiney, bitchy post. Waa waa waa, don't read if you don't want to hear me whine!

Ever have one of those days where you feel like people stop talking when you walk by? When you feel like you are back in 5th grade and watching the playground politics going on around you? When you just feel like you just plain don't belong? I am having one of those weeks. Yesterday it started, today it is continuing. I am feeling lonely, left out and like I don't belong. That's what this project that I can't stand does to me. I feel like shutting my office door and letting the tears flow. It's probably just me.

One of the students who I brought onto this project after hearing her bemoen the fact that she had nothing to do, walks past my office making sure not to make eye contact on her way to the restroom. She used to stop by and chat regularly (ok, too often). Now she keeps walking. When she is actually in this building and isn't hanging out flirting with "the guys".

I was in the lab unpacking some chemicals and the project manager was in there. I guess I was making too much noise or something putting stuff away. He told me to just put the stuff down and leave, he would take care of it. Ok, fine.

I feel completely unmotivated on this project and it most likely shows to my coworkers and the project manager. I would be stupid to think it didn't. But how exactly am I supposed to feel motivated and that what I do on that project is important when the project manager doesn't feel this way? He consistently gives me lame administrative tasks and no acknowledgements. Are my feelings really my fault?

My mind is made up. I am getting myself off this project sooner rather than later. I will wrap up the tasks I have outstanding over the next few months (or weeks), but I don't plan on working for him anymore. I am not coming to the meetings from now on. I will work for Justin on his projects and I will wrap up my little $25K task and get the data I need. And well, if I have to take vacation days because I don't have enough time to fill my timecard, or if I have to go work on projects that are out of my area of expertise and function as a technician, I will. It just isn't worth it to feel this way.