Food has always been a big thing in my family. Like most families, we would gather over meals. My mom was a good cook, an even better baker. I am a great cook, if I may say so myself, but my baking skills... well let's just say the baked goods are best left to my mom. But how one can be expected to survive without baked goods for months at a time in between mom visits is beyond me. So alas, I do bake.
Some things I have stooped to buying mixes (the shame). Betty Crocker's Chocolate Chocolate chip cookies... I have searched and searched for the perfect double chocolate cookie recipe to no avail. White cake with icing and little (fishy) sprinkles is another, Duncan Hines and canned frosting treats us pretty well. And well, there is no denying it, when you think about cracking and separating a dozen eggs for one cake, angel food cake, hands down, is easiest from the box. (Mind you this must be a two part mix, which is usually the Safeway or Favorite brand. The one part mixes suck rocks.)
But there is one thing that I could *never* NOT make from scratch. Pies. The family tradition. You see my mom's specialties are pies and she has completely spoiled us. Pie must have a tender, very flakey pie crust and ingrediants from scratch. No exceptions.
I know, this sounds snobby. So maybe I am a pie snob. A few months ago a friend of mine from work said, "did you know that Albertsons does not sell frozen pie crusts?" Uhh what? They make those? Ok, just kidding, I know they make pie crusts, but that is just... cheating. I politely said, "no I didn't". After all, I have never looked for them, so in theory I didn't know this.
We moved here three years ago and my program manager invited Hans and I to Thanksgiving dinner at his house. I chatted with his wife and asked what I could bring. "Nothing" she assured me, "we are huge pie people, so we will have plenty of pies". These are my kind of people, I thought. And we brought a very nice bottle of wine. Imagine then my horror when she pulled out three boxes out of the freezer after dinner... damn that Sarah Lee!! I was crushed. No "real" pie. And it wasn't either. It was tasteless, with non flakey, chewy crust. Hans and I vowed to never again spend Thanksgiving away from our kitchen.
So all of this said, you would expect that I could bake a decent pie, wouldn't you? Ha ha ha!!
I made a rhubarb custard pie today. First I called my mom for the recipe like I have done 2593 times before. (I truly believe I make it and then rip the card to shreds afterwards so I won't be tempted to undertake such a fiasco again.) Got the recipe and opened up Betty Crocker (COOKBOOK, not a box) for the pie crust recipe.
Deep breath... I can do this... deep breath.
The dough is made... calls for 4-5T of H2O, but at 3T I have a nice ball of dough. I know enough to know that excess water will kill. I stop. I pull out my new handy dandy pie crust mat from Pampered Chef and set to work. I made enough pie crust for a 10" pie, certain that my pie pan is 9" (also PC), I will have a little to work with... I roll it out and for some reason the pie crust measures 12". Oh well.
VERY carefully, I roll it onto the rolling pin (like I watch my mom do with ease), crack, crack, crack...
So I make up my mind that I should NOT start throwing things and proclaiming failure once more. This is not a good exhibit for my 10 month old to observe. I carefully scoop the remnants back up, trying not to warm the dough up with my hands, but trying to get good adhesion.
Deep breath... I CAN do this... deep breath.
I roll it out and this time it barely reaches 9". What happened? Where'd my dough go? OH well. I roll the crust onto the pin ... carefully now... and whew. It is IN the pie pan. Lopsided, but in. I start *trying* to straighten. Rip. Ok, I will straighten the other side, rip... Hmmm... seems as if my pie pan must be a 10" pie pan at least, I barely have enough crust to get up the sides.
Whew, my pie crust, like usual, looks like a patchwork quilt. I am sure if I pop it back into the fridge it will forgive all the handling of dough. Smiles, I made a crust without cursing, or at least loudly.
Onto the filling. Mix 3 egg yolks with 1 c sugar and 2T corn starch, then add 1 c whole milk. Ok whatever, the yolk is in chunks in the bottom of this wacky mixture. Start over and think about it this time... how about the 3 egg yolks in the milk and then add to the sugar. Presto!
(2 tries at pie crust, 2 tries at filling... the merengue awaits)
I get the pie in the oven and after an hour start on the merengue. I was stoked having 6 egg whites to ruin. Merengue and I do NOT get along. My KitchenAid Professional is too large, so I have to resort to a Woolworth hand mixer I bought for just this purpose when I was 18. The thing is showing it's age. But it fluffs my egg whites and I top my pie with a mound, a heaping pile, of merengue and brown it in the oven.
Success!! The pie is made! And Hans knows me well enough now to tell me, no matter what, that this was the best pie he has ever had in his entire life.
Pie is a family tradition in my family, and Hans' family as well. In his family however, his dad made the crusts. My MIL is a smart woman! He has a "foolproof" crust recipe using boiling water he gave me. Ha, foolproof my rear... if you can make an emulsion by hand, you are golden. I, on the other hand, cannot make an emulsion. Hans can however. But his involvement of making pies usually stops once the crust is made, then I still have to roll it out.
I have tried umpteen different recipes: use 7-Up, make an emulsion, use cold butter, use lard, use shortening, use ice water, use milk... so I don't think it is the recipe. I have bought gizmos designed to help me make better pie crusts: use the food processor, use the pastry cutter, use a pie mat (thanks Pampered Chef... hope you are happy with your $15 or so...) . Yet I still struggle.
Pie making is an art. One that is difficult to perfect. But I will ALWAYS make my pies from scratch, no frozen pie crusts with premade filling will cross the threshold of this house. I will keep trying, I will teach my children to make pies.
Ok, ok, my MOM will teach my children to make pies. Then maybe once Leif masters the technique I can retire and get back to perfecting my crab cakes, or helping Hans perfect his lamb vindaloo. Or maybe I will just start making slight suggestions that we should consider perfecting the art of drinking MORE wine while drinking. (And yes, I have tried drinking more wine while making pie crusts too.)
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