When I had Leif I mourned passing time. It made me sad when he lost his newborn look, then when he was a toddler and not a baby, you get the idea.
People like to tell parents of newborns to enjoy this time as it passes so quickly. I am sure I have done the same. But right now I find that statement annoying.
As a mom of three I know very well how quickly time flies. But beyond that I have a new outlook with number three. I love having a newborn. But I know from experience that all the best is yet to come. It only gets better as you see them learn to do things for themselves, they learn to read, they make friends, they discover what they love.
Babies are awesome. But there is so much more to look forward to.
Monday, May 06, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Well Children
Quick post for tracking purposes:
Silas:
Born: 8 lbs 11 oz, 20.5"
Left Hospital 4 days later: 8 lbs 2 oz
7 Days Old: 8 lbs 4 oz
9 Days Old: 8 lbs 6 oz, 21.5" (Length 98th percentile, Weight/Length Ratio Percentile 4th)
13 Days Old: 8 lbs 15 oz
15 Days Old: 9 lbs 3 oz, 22" (70th percentile and 90th percentile)
Skadi:
Age 6 years 1 month well child visit 4/25/13
Weight 45 lbs - 50th percentile
Height 44" - 37th percentile
Silas:
Born: 8 lbs 11 oz, 20.5"
Left Hospital 4 days later: 8 lbs 2 oz
7 Days Old: 8 lbs 4 oz
9 Days Old: 8 lbs 6 oz, 21.5" (Length 98th percentile, Weight/Length Ratio Percentile 4th)
13 Days Old: 8 lbs 15 oz
15 Days Old: 9 lbs 3 oz, 22" (70th percentile and 90th percentile)
Skadi:
Age 6 years 1 month well child visit 4/25/13
Weight 45 lbs - 50th percentile
Height 44" - 37th percentile
Monday, April 01, 2013
Money, it's what I want... or not
One area my two kids are so completely opposite is their treatment/need for money.
Since Leif was very young he has seen value in money. The kid gets a dime and holds tight to it. We used to tell him to save his money for something he would like to buy. He just saves his money. The only thing he wants to buy is more money, so when a game my Dad bought for him (Fortune Street) introduced the concept of buying stocks and he learned that it is really something you can do - make your money grow by investing it - he was all over it.
He has his own Sharebuilder account and keeps track of it.
Skadi is the complete opposite. Can't hold on to a dime to save her life. Part of this I blame on Leif at an early age. She would offer him money and he would take it. We finally had to institute a rule, "your sister does NOT need to pay you off!"
But still, money? In one hand, out her other.
She came home one day with a "Pennies for Patients" box from school and an intense obligation in her heart to fill the thing to the brim.
I tried to stop her, "honey, you don't need to fill the ENTIRE box, maybe you should keep some of your change?" And she looked at me completely perplexed. And I thought about it. What does she do with her money? Nothing. Lose it?
"Nevermind," I said, "if you want to empty your piggy bank into the box, that is fine."
And she did. Then she went to my change jar and filled up the remainder with change from my jar because she couldn't possibly take the box in 2/3 full when there are sick kids who need the money.
Leif came home and threw his box to the side. I thought about pushing him to donate some change, but then I hefted the box that Skadi had filled and didn't pursue it further.
Sunday school has started introducing the notion of the tithe with the kids. AB and I give to our church and feel this is an important aspect of our attendance and following. We are supportive of this with the kids. Most Sundays Skadi is scrambling for change to take for her offering. While Leif looks at us and rolls his eyes, "give money? Why?" Then he rolls them at his sister for even bringing the topic up.
The other day Leif announced that he thought he would like to use some of his money to buy Skylanders for the Wii. Again my first impulse was, "really, you want to spend $50 on that?"
Then AB looked at me. This was a first. We are thinking this is about the first time leif has willingly taken his own money and spent it on anything for himself. Yes, seriously. The kid is patient and will wait until his birthday or Christmas and then ask for the coveted item. And if he doesn't get it, he moves on.
Skadi on the other hand... one of her grandpas sent her $10 for her birthday. That $10 is burning a big huge and ugly hole in her pocket. My recent willingness to go stroll around Target has been about nill since reaching 38-39 weeks pregnant since the $10 bill came in the mail. And this is REALLY cramping her style. She has $10!!! There are TOYS to buy!
I keep reminding her not to lose it as when it is gone, that is it.
"Mommy, if you have to go to the hospital tonight to have the baby, will you take my $10 and keep it safe?" she asked me.
Since Leif was very young he has seen value in money. The kid gets a dime and holds tight to it. We used to tell him to save his money for something he would like to buy. He just saves his money. The only thing he wants to buy is more money, so when a game my Dad bought for him (Fortune Street) introduced the concept of buying stocks and he learned that it is really something you can do - make your money grow by investing it - he was all over it.
He has his own Sharebuilder account and keeps track of it.
Skadi is the complete opposite. Can't hold on to a dime to save her life. Part of this I blame on Leif at an early age. She would offer him money and he would take it. We finally had to institute a rule, "your sister does NOT need to pay you off!"
But still, money? In one hand, out her other.
She came home one day with a "Pennies for Patients" box from school and an intense obligation in her heart to fill the thing to the brim.
I tried to stop her, "honey, you don't need to fill the ENTIRE box, maybe you should keep some of your change?" And she looked at me completely perplexed. And I thought about it. What does she do with her money? Nothing. Lose it?
"Nevermind," I said, "if you want to empty your piggy bank into the box, that is fine."
And she did. Then she went to my change jar and filled up the remainder with change from my jar because she couldn't possibly take the box in 2/3 full when there are sick kids who need the money.
Leif came home and threw his box to the side. I thought about pushing him to donate some change, but then I hefted the box that Skadi had filled and didn't pursue it further.
Sunday school has started introducing the notion of the tithe with the kids. AB and I give to our church and feel this is an important aspect of our attendance and following. We are supportive of this with the kids. Most Sundays Skadi is scrambling for change to take for her offering. While Leif looks at us and rolls his eyes, "give money? Why?" Then he rolls them at his sister for even bringing the topic up.
The other day Leif announced that he thought he would like to use some of his money to buy Skylanders for the Wii. Again my first impulse was, "really, you want to spend $50 on that?"
Then AB looked at me. This was a first. We are thinking this is about the first time leif has willingly taken his own money and spent it on anything for himself. Yes, seriously. The kid is patient and will wait until his birthday or Christmas and then ask for the coveted item. And if he doesn't get it, he moves on.
Skadi on the other hand... one of her grandpas sent her $10 for her birthday. That $10 is burning a big huge and ugly hole in her pocket. My recent willingness to go stroll around Target has been about nill since reaching 38-39 weeks pregnant since the $10 bill came in the mail. And this is REALLY cramping her style. She has $10!!! There are TOYS to buy!
I keep reminding her not to lose it as when it is gone, that is it.
"Mommy, if you have to go to the hospital tonight to have the baby, will you take my $10 and keep it safe?" she asked me.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
The nicest people in the world
Sadly, I am not one of them.
But you know those people - the ones that are just so nice and kind and generous with their time, money, career, etc.? Those of us who don't fit into that mold tend to wonder if it is for real. Well it is. Because no one not genuine could maintain that facade for long, I am convinced.
My ob is one of those people. I, on a rare occasion, have seen glints of frustration as he has come from another room containing a "wimpy" patient. But 99.5% of the time that I have known him, nicest person in.the.world.
I see these women walk into his office, hugely pregnant, finishing the last drag on their cigarette outside before setting foot in the office (but hovering with the door open), hauling their strung out looking boyfriends/husbands who are wearing pajama pants with them, cussing up a storm. And I cringe.
And then I hear him in the room with them next door, full of compassion and kindness. And I feel guilty.
I couldn't do that. I know a little about his history from the occasional friendship we have forged outside of the office. His passion in life is treating not women like me (educated, able to support ourselves), but poverty level women with few options in life. In addition to his MD, he has a Masters in Public Health and has a keen understanding of how the care (or lack of) a woman receives in her doctor's office translates to her acceptance in social situations and her ability to raise her family. He hopes to retire from his practice soon (has scaled it back to 2 days a week in the office presently) and move to Central America and practice medicine among the third world inhabitants there.
I wanted to go to medical school once. And each time I have been in a hospital be it for birthing my kids or having my gall bladder out I have wistfully wondered what it would be like to be a physician and have longed for that experience of walking through the halls of a hospital. I wanted to be a nurse until I was about 5 when my nurse grandmother said, "you don't want to be a nurse, you want to be a doctor!"
I had a stint in there where I wanted to be an astronaut. Then a teacher. But for the vast majority of my school life I wanted to be a doctor. I scored very average on the MCAT. I worked in a doctor's office for 5 years. I had an "in" to the local med school through my college employer (a dermatologist) who was also a professor at the medical school one half day a week.
Then I dumped it all and went to grad school.
I wanted to be a plastic surgeon actually. While in college I would fill in with one of my doctor's good friends when he was short staffed in his Reconstructive Surgery office. I loved it. But wow it seemed like a long haul. Medical School, Surgical Residency, Plastic Surgery Residency...
I told AB about how I noted that I just did not have what it took to do what my ob does every day. See these women and be compassionate about their situation, when I would really just want to slap them upside the head. I would be the most frustrated person around.
"But you would have never gone into obstetrics," AB said the other night. "You would so be spending your days doing boob jobs intermingled with the occasional pro bono case! You would still have your wackos to deal with, they would just be different wackos."
He is right. It's dang good I went into research and not medicine because I do not regularly have to work with wackos at all this way.
And it isn't just in medicine where you find these nicest people ever. I truly have some of the nicest friends ever. And I wonder what it would take - how they do it? If they don't have that same voice in their head that I do?
Well, I guess it is something for me to work on.
After I birth this baby, because right now it just isn't in me!
But you know those people - the ones that are just so nice and kind and generous with their time, money, career, etc.? Those of us who don't fit into that mold tend to wonder if it is for real. Well it is. Because no one not genuine could maintain that facade for long, I am convinced.
My ob is one of those people. I, on a rare occasion, have seen glints of frustration as he has come from another room containing a "wimpy" patient. But 99.5% of the time that I have known him, nicest person in.the.world.
I see these women walk into his office, hugely pregnant, finishing the last drag on their cigarette outside before setting foot in the office (but hovering with the door open), hauling their strung out looking boyfriends/husbands who are wearing pajama pants with them, cussing up a storm. And I cringe.
And then I hear him in the room with them next door, full of compassion and kindness. And I feel guilty.
I couldn't do that. I know a little about his history from the occasional friendship we have forged outside of the office. His passion in life is treating not women like me (educated, able to support ourselves), but poverty level women with few options in life. In addition to his MD, he has a Masters in Public Health and has a keen understanding of how the care (or lack of) a woman receives in her doctor's office translates to her acceptance in social situations and her ability to raise her family. He hopes to retire from his practice soon (has scaled it back to 2 days a week in the office presently) and move to Central America and practice medicine among the third world inhabitants there.
I wanted to go to medical school once. And each time I have been in a hospital be it for birthing my kids or having my gall bladder out I have wistfully wondered what it would be like to be a physician and have longed for that experience of walking through the halls of a hospital. I wanted to be a nurse until I was about 5 when my nurse grandmother said, "you don't want to be a nurse, you want to be a doctor!"
I had a stint in there where I wanted to be an astronaut. Then a teacher. But for the vast majority of my school life I wanted to be a doctor. I scored very average on the MCAT. I worked in a doctor's office for 5 years. I had an "in" to the local med school through my college employer (a dermatologist) who was also a professor at the medical school one half day a week.
Then I dumped it all and went to grad school.
I wanted to be a plastic surgeon actually. While in college I would fill in with one of my doctor's good friends when he was short staffed in his Reconstructive Surgery office. I loved it. But wow it seemed like a long haul. Medical School, Surgical Residency, Plastic Surgery Residency...
I told AB about how I noted that I just did not have what it took to do what my ob does every day. See these women and be compassionate about their situation, when I would really just want to slap them upside the head. I would be the most frustrated person around.
"But you would have never gone into obstetrics," AB said the other night. "You would so be spending your days doing boob jobs intermingled with the occasional pro bono case! You would still have your wackos to deal with, they would just be different wackos."
He is right. It's dang good I went into research and not medicine because I do not regularly have to work with wackos at all this way.
And it isn't just in medicine where you find these nicest people ever. I truly have some of the nicest friends ever. And I wonder what it would take - how they do it? If they don't have that same voice in their head that I do?
Well, I guess it is something for me to work on.
After I birth this baby, because right now it just isn't in me!
Friday, March 22, 2013
All the "holiday" flap
A few of my Facebook friends have recently posted links to blog posts with titles like "Can we tone down the holidays, please?" and other things of that nature.
It's March, Easter is coming up, if you don't have kids in school you may wonder what the big deal is. So here it is... St. Patrick's Day. Once a day when you just made sure your child (ok me, I was that age) wore green when they walked out of the house so they don't get pinched? Now a holiday. Not a holiday in that kids are out of school, but a big celebration with green food, Leprechaun trap building, etc. Then there are the complaints of what some kids are handing out for Valentine's Day - fancy little bags of goodies instead of just a card. Take it back another few weeks to Christmas and everyone points to the "creepy" new tradition of Elf on the Shelf. Some have even started complaining about Advent calendars - which are not a new thing and I loved mine as a kid.
Well I have already blogged about the supposed "creepy" Elf on the Shelf. Basically we bought it and love it and don't find it creepy - which seems to be the key word people use who don't buy in. "It's creepy."
I am a big fan of holidays. Love them. In today's day and age with so much crummy news and things we need to shelter our kids from, I am all for embracing the fun and frivolty of a handful of days a year to celebrate random things.
We aren't really Irish, though the red hair tricks many. More Scandinavian and my red hair (hence my kids' as well) comes from my Swedish grandmother. But St. Patty's day? It's a hit here. The kids love corned beef, which I fix once a year on March 17th. They love building leprechaun traps and they get more elaborate every year. This year my son's was rigged with motion sensors - making things pretty interesting...
Fun. It's all it is.
We pick and choose with holidays. I get tired of all the freaking candy at holidays and my personal annoyance is when every holiday becomes a gift giving occasion. My kids get "presents" on their birthdays and Christmas. For Easter they will get small little things I don't think of as presents out of the dollar bins in their baskets - chalk, jump rope, a stuffed rabbit (for Skadi). For Valentine's Day, my daughter got a pink teddy bear, because she loves that stuff (and her chocolates still sit untouched). I don't have time to spend hours working on Valentine's, so my kids picked out the ones with a card and a piece of candy attached. And so far - neither the nearly 6 year old or 8 year old has complained at all. I like to think they know better.
Back to my point... the blog posts asking to scale back the holidays.
You don't like it? Don't do it! Quit succumbing to parental peer pressure and the assumption that if it is posted on Pinterest that "everyone" else is doing it and your child will feel left out if they don't have baggies of rainbow licorice and gold coins for St. Patty's Day. Your kids will deal.
St. Patty's day? I cooked dinner. My kids built their traps themselves (ok, dad couldn't resist in helping Skadi incorporate her ceiling fan into hers) as they have been doing since they were 3 years old in preschool with access to paper and tape. And that was that.
And you know what, if my children EVER complained that they don't get to do all the stuff their friends do they will get a stern lecture.
My son at chess club (over Christmas) told one of his friends about the underwear episode with our Elf, Mina. (Mina decorated the untrimmed tree with his underwear.) The boy told his mom in my presence and she looked at me, rolled her eyes (not in a horrible way, we have been acquainted for 1.5 years now through the boys) and said, "oh you are one of THOSE moms."
Yes, I am one of those moms who loves to have fun and do silly things with my kids that make them laugh and adds to their magic of the holidays. That when they are 28 will look back and laugh and say to me, "mom, do you remember when you, I mean the Elf, decorated the tree with my underwear?"
Yep, I am one of those moms.
It's March, Easter is coming up, if you don't have kids in school you may wonder what the big deal is. So here it is... St. Patrick's Day. Once a day when you just made sure your child (ok me, I was that age) wore green when they walked out of the house so they don't get pinched? Now a holiday. Not a holiday in that kids are out of school, but a big celebration with green food, Leprechaun trap building, etc. Then there are the complaints of what some kids are handing out for Valentine's Day - fancy little bags of goodies instead of just a card. Take it back another few weeks to Christmas and everyone points to the "creepy" new tradition of Elf on the Shelf. Some have even started complaining about Advent calendars - which are not a new thing and I loved mine as a kid.
Well I have already blogged about the supposed "creepy" Elf on the Shelf. Basically we bought it and love it and don't find it creepy - which seems to be the key word people use who don't buy in. "It's creepy."
I am a big fan of holidays. Love them. In today's day and age with so much crummy news and things we need to shelter our kids from, I am all for embracing the fun and frivolty of a handful of days a year to celebrate random things.
We aren't really Irish, though the red hair tricks many. More Scandinavian and my red hair (hence my kids' as well) comes from my Swedish grandmother. But St. Patty's day? It's a hit here. The kids love corned beef, which I fix once a year on March 17th. They love building leprechaun traps and they get more elaborate every year. This year my son's was rigged with motion sensors - making things pretty interesting...
Fun. It's all it is.
We pick and choose with holidays. I get tired of all the freaking candy at holidays and my personal annoyance is when every holiday becomes a gift giving occasion. My kids get "presents" on their birthdays and Christmas. For Easter they will get small little things I don't think of as presents out of the dollar bins in their baskets - chalk, jump rope, a stuffed rabbit (for Skadi). For Valentine's Day, my daughter got a pink teddy bear, because she loves that stuff (and her chocolates still sit untouched). I don't have time to spend hours working on Valentine's, so my kids picked out the ones with a card and a piece of candy attached. And so far - neither the nearly 6 year old or 8 year old has complained at all. I like to think they know better.
Back to my point... the blog posts asking to scale back the holidays.
You don't like it? Don't do it! Quit succumbing to parental peer pressure and the assumption that if it is posted on Pinterest that "everyone" else is doing it and your child will feel left out if they don't have baggies of rainbow licorice and gold coins for St. Patty's Day. Your kids will deal.
St. Patty's day? I cooked dinner. My kids built their traps themselves (ok, dad couldn't resist in helping Skadi incorporate her ceiling fan into hers) as they have been doing since they were 3 years old in preschool with access to paper and tape. And that was that.
And you know what, if my children EVER complained that they don't get to do all the stuff their friends do they will get a stern lecture.
My son at chess club (over Christmas) told one of his friends about the underwear episode with our Elf, Mina. (Mina decorated the untrimmed tree with his underwear.) The boy told his mom in my presence and she looked at me, rolled her eyes (not in a horrible way, we have been acquainted for 1.5 years now through the boys) and said, "oh you are one of THOSE moms."
Yes, I am one of those moms who loves to have fun and do silly things with my kids that make them laugh and adds to their magic of the holidays. That when they are 28 will look back and laugh and say to me, "mom, do you remember when you, I mean the Elf, decorated the tree with my underwear?"
Yep, I am one of those moms.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
My daughter's clothes
A huge issue.
A way too big of an issue, IMO.
One similarity with Skadi and I is that when I was 5, I wore only dresses too. I had some weird and irrational thought that if I wore pants, someone might think I was a boy. I had long hair. I didn't look like a boy. But I was POSITIVE that someone would think me a boy.
When I was very little - probably around three - my dad's mom bought me a pair of cowboy boots. But she poisoned them. She poisoned them because she said "cowboy boots!" Not cowgirl boots. I still remember screaming my head off and my mom hissing through her teeth at me that I WOULD try them on for her one way or another. It was horrible. My feet were poisoned by boy shoes.
Skadi has these same delusions, sort of, at least. With footwear, she is all about comfort and one of her recent favorite pairs of shoes was a pair of brown hand me down Keens from her brother. I have no idea.
But not only does she want to wear a dress daily, but she adds her own flair to her style.
And it is the flair that she and her kindergarten teacher may come to blows over.
I am pretty sure her kindergarten teacher has labelled me as one of *those* parents. At Skadi's fall conference she mentioned one instance regarding the "class t-shirt" and it not being her issue.
The Class T-Shirt. So the deal is that at the beginning of the year the teacher requested we send in a white t-shirt for our kids that would be decorated in all the same way to give the class a consistent and fun look for field trips, group pictures, assemblies, etc. "The kids are just so cute in them!" She proclaimed!
Great!
Except Skadi HATES hers. Despises it.
So Skadi came home last fall with a sticker instructing the kids to wear the t-shirt the next day. And she refused. Wanted nothing to do with it. Since Skadi goes to morning care and I feared it being taken off and left somewhere (since a pink t-shirt underneath is mandatory in Skadi world) - I don't know, stuffed into some drawer or down the toilet at her morning care? I put it in her backpack and sent an e-mail to her teacher explaining that Skadi didn't want to wear it, it is in the backpack, hopefully when she sees the other kids wearing theirs, there will be positive peer pressure and she will want to put it on.
Well at conferences I was told that was out of line and not a teacher issue, not for them to deal with, it was up to me to get her in the t-shirt, her job is to teach.
Actually I disagree a bit. The Class T-Shirt is not part of a uniform that I agreed to. It was a request by the teacher that she wear this t-shirt. Therefore, your request, your problem. Not to be a complete bitch about it or anything, really. But I was rather annoyed.
That hasn't been the end of The Class T-Shirt. Skadi still despises it and on the days before she is supposed to wear it the teacher puts a sticker on the kids' shirt on their way out the door for the day reminding parents.
Any guesses where those stickers go?
I have no flipping idea because I don't see them! So instead Skadi ends up being the only child not in a matching t-shirt on a regular basis. I do have a secret weapon - friends. I have enlisted a parent friend from the class to let me know when her son comes home with a sticker to wear the special shirt.
But seriously, a battle where I am left shaking my head "why?!"
As I mentioned earlier Skadi has her own flair. She loves wearing a tiara daily. She loves pink. She loves dresses. And she prides herself on her clothing "creations". She argues about what matches and what doesn't. She is a clothing centric child. I was not. I like nice clothing and like shopping for clothes (this she got from me), but I don't push the syle boundries.
One day I got an e-mail home citing a school dress code violation. I was perplexed. I looked at my daughter. She was wearing a dress that she has owned for two years, wore to her grandfather's wedding and wears nearly once a week. And now... out of the blue... a dress code violation? Despite the fact that she had a sweater on covering the bare shoulders each day, it was cited that she wore sleeveless dresses two days in a row. (The previous day she did have a halter dress on, but wore a jean shirt/cardigan/light jacket over it.) If this was a problem, why wasn't it brought to my attention when she wore it first and not after 25 times? How do I explain to my daughter that I know it was ok last week when you wore the dress, but now it isn't?
Skadi gets it I think - and it may sound awful - but I blame her teacher. "Remember Mrs. W said you can't wear dresses without sleeves?" But you know? It works. And there is no battle. And she willingly changes to abide by Mrs. W's rules.
The other day Skadi wore a long flowing maxi-style skirt that she loves. Apparently when running on the playground she tripped on the dress and it ripped. Badly. Skadi came home in a pair of humongous sweat pants. I e-mailed her teacher acknowledging the rip and thanking her for loaning her a pair of sweat pants.
I kind of expected an e-mail back saying, "you're welcome".
Not surprisingly the e-mail back to me was not a "you're welcome" but instead said that she wouldn't need the pants if she would quit wearing long dresses and skirts and recommended that maybe if I let Skadi pick out a pair of sparkley pants that she wouldn't feel so compelled to wear dresses all the time.
I didn't respond. Because if you don't have anything nice to say...
I thought pretty strongly about snapping a picture of my daughter's pants collection - the pink jeans, the cheetah print jeggings, the pink cheetah print jeans, the yoga pants, pink fleece pants... - and sending that off.
But I resisted. I may have cursed a bit, felt as though I was being judged as a mom, wondering if she had even MET my daughter... oh wait, those e-mails about my daughter's stubborn nature recently... maybe she had met her once.
I came to a conclusion the other day... I continually get notes about Skadi's lack of progress when tested linked to her refusal to do simple tasks... apparently she only knows 5 letters, for example. (Yet she can write her and her brother's full names and most of her sight words...)
Maybe if the teacher quit worrying about and focusing on my daughter's clothing, she could focus on teaching my daughter?
A way too big of an issue, IMO.
One similarity with Skadi and I is that when I was 5, I wore only dresses too. I had some weird and irrational thought that if I wore pants, someone might think I was a boy. I had long hair. I didn't look like a boy. But I was POSITIVE that someone would think me a boy.
When I was very little - probably around three - my dad's mom bought me a pair of cowboy boots. But she poisoned them. She poisoned them because she said "cowboy boots!" Not cowgirl boots. I still remember screaming my head off and my mom hissing through her teeth at me that I WOULD try them on for her one way or another. It was horrible. My feet were poisoned by boy shoes.
Skadi has these same delusions, sort of, at least. With footwear, she is all about comfort and one of her recent favorite pairs of shoes was a pair of brown hand me down Keens from her brother. I have no idea.
But not only does she want to wear a dress daily, but she adds her own flair to her style.
And it is the flair that she and her kindergarten teacher may come to blows over.
I am pretty sure her kindergarten teacher has labelled me as one of *those* parents. At Skadi's fall conference she mentioned one instance regarding the "class t-shirt" and it not being her issue.
The Class T-Shirt. So the deal is that at the beginning of the year the teacher requested we send in a white t-shirt for our kids that would be decorated in all the same way to give the class a consistent and fun look for field trips, group pictures, assemblies, etc. "The kids are just so cute in them!" She proclaimed!
Great!
Except Skadi HATES hers. Despises it.
So Skadi came home last fall with a sticker instructing the kids to wear the t-shirt the next day. And she refused. Wanted nothing to do with it. Since Skadi goes to morning care and I feared it being taken off and left somewhere (since a pink t-shirt underneath is mandatory in Skadi world) - I don't know, stuffed into some drawer or down the toilet at her morning care? I put it in her backpack and sent an e-mail to her teacher explaining that Skadi didn't want to wear it, it is in the backpack, hopefully when she sees the other kids wearing theirs, there will be positive peer pressure and she will want to put it on.
Well at conferences I was told that was out of line and not a teacher issue, not for them to deal with, it was up to me to get her in the t-shirt, her job is to teach.
Actually I disagree a bit. The Class T-Shirt is not part of a uniform that I agreed to. It was a request by the teacher that she wear this t-shirt. Therefore, your request, your problem. Not to be a complete bitch about it or anything, really. But I was rather annoyed.
That hasn't been the end of The Class T-Shirt. Skadi still despises it and on the days before she is supposed to wear it the teacher puts a sticker on the kids' shirt on their way out the door for the day reminding parents.
Any guesses where those stickers go?
I have no flipping idea because I don't see them! So instead Skadi ends up being the only child not in a matching t-shirt on a regular basis. I do have a secret weapon - friends. I have enlisted a parent friend from the class to let me know when her son comes home with a sticker to wear the special shirt.
But seriously, a battle where I am left shaking my head "why?!"
As I mentioned earlier Skadi has her own flair. She loves wearing a tiara daily. She loves pink. She loves dresses. And she prides herself on her clothing "creations". She argues about what matches and what doesn't. She is a clothing centric child. I was not. I like nice clothing and like shopping for clothes (this she got from me), but I don't push the syle boundries.
One day I got an e-mail home citing a school dress code violation. I was perplexed. I looked at my daughter. She was wearing a dress that she has owned for two years, wore to her grandfather's wedding and wears nearly once a week. And now... out of the blue... a dress code violation? Despite the fact that she had a sweater on covering the bare shoulders each day, it was cited that she wore sleeveless dresses two days in a row. (The previous day she did have a halter dress on, but wore a jean shirt/cardigan/light jacket over it.) If this was a problem, why wasn't it brought to my attention when she wore it first and not after 25 times? How do I explain to my daughter that I know it was ok last week when you wore the dress, but now it isn't?
Skadi gets it I think - and it may sound awful - but I blame her teacher. "Remember Mrs. W said you can't wear dresses without sleeves?" But you know? It works. And there is no battle. And she willingly changes to abide by Mrs. W's rules.
The other day Skadi wore a long flowing maxi-style skirt that she loves. Apparently when running on the playground she tripped on the dress and it ripped. Badly. Skadi came home in a pair of humongous sweat pants. I e-mailed her teacher acknowledging the rip and thanking her for loaning her a pair of sweat pants.
I kind of expected an e-mail back saying, "you're welcome".
Not surprisingly the e-mail back to me was not a "you're welcome" but instead said that she wouldn't need the pants if she would quit wearing long dresses and skirts and recommended that maybe if I let Skadi pick out a pair of sparkley pants that she wouldn't feel so compelled to wear dresses all the time.
I didn't respond. Because if you don't have anything nice to say...
I thought pretty strongly about snapping a picture of my daughter's pants collection - the pink jeans, the cheetah print jeggings, the pink cheetah print jeans, the yoga pants, pink fleece pants... - and sending that off.
But I resisted. I may have cursed a bit, felt as though I was being judged as a mom, wondering if she had even MET my daughter... oh wait, those e-mails about my daughter's stubborn nature recently... maybe she had met her once.
I came to a conclusion the other day... I continually get notes about Skadi's lack of progress when tested linked to her refusal to do simple tasks... apparently she only knows 5 letters, for example. (Yet she can write her and her brother's full names and most of her sight words...)
Maybe if the teacher quit worrying about and focusing on my daughter's clothing, she could focus on teaching my daughter?
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Influential to Me
So my last post was about influential music as a whole. A lot of it isn’t my style. I am not a Beatles fan (I know, sacrilege), not a big country fan (which is why I couldn’t list a single Garth Brooks album, but knew he needed to be there). So I got to thinking, what is MY most influential music? What music through my 40 – some years has moved me?
A lot comes from my parents and then from people around me. In this list I am painting a broader stroke and not listing the albums necessarily, maybe they are bands, or individual songs. Here it is… my list of 50 influential to Nuclear Mom music (attempting to hit these somewhat chronologically - honestly because it is easier that way):
Musical Foundation – The 70’s
Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (my first “favorite” song – I am sure this is courtesy of my dad)
Bert and Ernie’s Greatest Hits (And I have this cd for my kids too.)
Rolling Stones
Led Zeppelin
Janis Joplin (my mom’s favorite when I was a kid)
Bob Dylan (still resides in my top 5)
Donna Summers
The Bee Gees
Willie Nelson
John Denver
Childhood – Basically the late 70’s and early 80’s
Grease, The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Joan Jett and the BlackHearts – (a female hard core musician!)
Billy Idol – Rebel Yell
Squeeze – Black Coffee in Bed (the first video I saw on MTV)
Meat Loaf – Bat out of Hell (“On a hot summer’s night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”)
Pink Floyd – The Wall
The Stray Cats
Junior High – 80’s at its best
Pretty in Pink Soundtrack (worn out, thoroughly worn out)
Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill
Prince and the Parade
The Cure
Michael Jackson (oh how embarrassing…)
High School – a switch out of the main stream
Bad Religion
Social Distortion
Elvis Costello
English Beat
Blondie
The Ramones
The Clash
Black Flag
The Descendents/All
Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bullocks
The Vandals
Dirty Dancing (shhh… don’t tell my friends)
Michelle Shocked – Short Sharp Shocked
The Church
Tracy Chapman
The Doors
College/Grad School – quality music/talent
Richard Thompson
Nancy Griffith
Joe Jackson
The Cranberries – Everybody Else is Doing It
The Best of Gil-Scot Heron
Marc Cohn
Ray Charles
Soul Coughing
Miles Davis
Grateful Dead
Johnny Cash
Dave Matthews
Jack Johnson
What's Influential?
A friend of mine on FB recently took an “Influential Albums” quiz – see how many of these most influential 100 albums you own type of thing. Since I trust his musical tastes – I jumped on it too. Then I suspect that others who maybe trust(ed) my musical taste took it too. And for that I should apologize. It was horrible. Awful. Really?
Of course this then begs the question of what is my list? For me then, I have to define “influential”. An influential album (according to the NM-ipedia) changed the course of music, defined a genre, was copied by others (and those others also made money/benefited from that trail blaze), and has (can be somewhat debatable) staying power – i.e., the music still sells. And you know what? I don’t have to like the music. Like Garth Brooks, really don’t care for him. But cannot deny the man is not influential!
So in no particular order here's my 50:
Led Zeppelin, Zeppelin IV
Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks
Grateful Dead, American Beauty
Nirvana, Nevermind
Metallica, Master of Puppets
Metallica, And Justice For All
Ray Charles, The Genius of Ray Charles
Sex Pistols, Never Mind the Bullocks
The Cure, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues
Madonna, Like a Virgin
Michael Jackson, Thriller
Pink Floyd, The Wall
Rolling Stones, Beggar’s Banquet
Rolling Stones, Sticky Fingers
Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed
Beatles, Abby Road
Beatles, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band
Beatles, Let It Be
Heart, Dreamboat Annie
Simon and Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Waters
Patsy Cline, Showcase
Janis Joplin, Pearl
Grease, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
James Taylor, Sweet Baby James
Beastie Boys, Licensed to Ill
Run-DMC, Raising Hell
Tracy Chapman, Tracy Chapman
Willie Nelson, Always On My Mind
The Clash, London Calling
Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run
U2, The Joshua Tree
Marvin Gaye, What’s Going On
David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust
Elvis Costello, My Aim is True
Elvis Presley, Elvis Presley
Robert Johnson, King of the Delta Blues Singers
B.B. King, The Blues
Miles Davis, King of the Blues
Joni Mitchell, Blue
Aretha Franklin, I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You
Blondie, Parallel Lines
James Brown, Live at the Apollo
Jimi Hendrix, Are you Experienced
Prince and the Revolution, Purple Rain
The Ramones, The Ramones
The Who, My Generation
Paul Simon, Graceland
48 Garth Brooks, (I have no idea which album is considered his most influential honestly…)
Black Flag, Damaged
REM, Automatic for the People
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