Friday, October 06, 2017

Silas 4.5

The things that Silas says. Oh my. Where do I even start?

“Puke Brothers”
Silas is prone to exaggeration with his health. A microscopic scratch renders him paralyzed. Hypochondriac at all? But with this one, Leif had been pukey feeling, so I wasn’t taking my chances.

Silas: “MOM! I need water or I am going to puke!”
Me: “Silas we are in the car I don’t think I have anything.”
(I found a random water bottle with old water, it was the closest I could get.)
Silas (after guzzling it): “Oh that’s better. The puke brothers said, ‘come on, let’s go back to the stomach, we don’t need to leave his throat now’.”

Ever since Silas was a baby he has been a sweaty kid. He would wake up from nap, drenched. He could never wear fleece footy jammies because he would get too hot. But he doesn’t say “I am sweaty.” He says, “I am sweat”. Like this.

Silas: “Mom, I am so sweat.”
Me: “Well you should take your jacket off at school and not wear it in class. Then you wouldn’t get sweaty.”
Silas: “No, I didn’t say I was sweaty, I said I AM sweat.”

Me: “Silas, I love you to the moon and back!”
Silas: “Oh yeah, well I love you 159.”
(That would be the highest number he knows, so it is the most in the world... it used to be 23 just a few weeks ago.)

Me: “Silas, would you please quiet down, you are being SO loud!”
Silas: “What? You want me to be loud? Let me go get a friend and I will be even more loud,” (Suddenly increasing his voice volume.)
This kid doesn’t miss a beat. I guess you would have to know that this is from Mouse Soup. One of his favorite books. But I cannot tell him he is being too loud anymore as we get into this long routine whereby he just keeps getting louder.

Silas wants Siri to NOT call him April when he talks to her on my phone. So he tells her to call him (me, really), something new.
Silas: “Siri, call me ‘Silas again’.”
Siri changes my name to “Silas again” - everything says “Silas again”.
Yesterday Skadi changed it to her name. Well that was short lived. Silas snatched my phone and changed it again.

Except this morning I woke up to learn that I am now “Starlord”. Leif officially believes that Silas is a genius.

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