I know that everybody has their own cringeworthy comments said to them as parents. And I know I have more often than not gotten it wrong - said things good intentioned and then realized later that my comment was received in an unintended manner.
As a regular Caucasian mom of three, I don’t have a lot of these directed at me. I am not easily offended personally or at work. But I do have a trigger point... some strange expectation from parents of only children that because I have more than one, that one or more are expendable in some strange way. I have had a couple recent instances where someone said something along the lines of, “since I only have one, I have to make sure I get it right” or “well you have three so it’s easier to _____ “.
I don’t view any of my kids as the one I get to f up on and I will finally get it right with number 2 or 3. None of my kids are expendable from a personal development or physical perspective.
I suppose in a way it is akin to that feeling you have after you have your first child, and second is on its way and you wonder if you can ever love/do enough/do right by your 2nd child. But then your heart expands and the space is exponential. If you haven’t experienced that then maybe it is easier to see subsequent children as being somehow lesser, or more?
Actually that’s about my only theory as to why someone would say these types of things to parents with more than one child. I honestly don’t know why it would occur to someone that I can let slide the transgressions of one because I have more kids.
So there. I have said my peace on this topic that has been rattling around in my head for a few months.