Thursday, May 19, 2005

Ok, yes they are that bad.

So I *have* to get off this project. In working on this I decided to write up my status on one task. I wrote a 5 page summary of what I was doing, why and my results and dropped it off. I was hoping to drop it off on pissy project manager's (PPM) desk. I hadn't seen his car in the parking lot, so I was hopeful. Aw well, stupid me. I walked into the LAI and not only was his door to his office open, but he was there.

I handed it to him and told him I wrote up my most recent results, here it is. PPM glances over it while mumbling (meaning I can't just turn around and walk off). He finally clears up his mumbling saying that he has a chemist who was looking for hours and so he has asked him to do this work and work on the RGA.

Oh, ok. So this task of mine was handed off to someone else without telling me. He had the opportunity to tell me. I was in his office a week and a half ago telling him my plans for doing these experiments, he could have mentioned it then. But no, he didn't.

I said, "so that's who RRK is, I saw all sorts of files with the title RRK". No response. He then says after a minute or so, "I will set up a meeting with you guys to discuss this later". Sure, go ahead, set up a meeting... whatever. I could really care less.

Ok, ok, who am I kidding? I do care. It hurts. I don't just fail at stuff. That isn't me. I probably should have tried harder, but the incentive has never been there. Why do I feel so crappy about leaving a project I dislike? Does it amount to failure? To a certain degree, yes it does feel like failure to me.

I recently took a social styles class and one of the points was to learn to how to interact with opposite personality types and not to use the cop out of, "It just isn't a good fit". But is it really a cop out? Why should I be the one to have to strive to fit in with this notorious boys club?

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