Home Depot

"Hi, I am looking for heating tape, the kind you wrap around pipes?"

"It's in the plumbing section. Aisle K2."

"Well I was just there and looked all over, can you show me?"

Salesguy rolls eyes and trudges off to show me.

Up and back down the aisle and surprise, it isn't there. He calls the plumbling expert over.

"Oh, that's seasonal, it's put away. Do you really need it?"

"Well I wouldn't be here looking for it if I didn't need it." Said while trying hard not to sound TOO sarcastic.

"I really think you don't need it, you must have another problem with your plumbing if you need heating tape..."

I interrupt, "It's not my plumbing, it's for my research."

He looks at me skeptically. "What kind of research?"

"I need it in my lab out at XXXX".

"Oh, so you really need it?"

"Yeah, that's why I am here."

"Well we'll need to block of the aisle and get the crane out." As he makes no effort to move.

I stand there.

"So you really want it then?"

"6 foot length, 1.5 inches wide minimum and must be either rubber contained or wrapped in fiberglass."

"I guess you really need it then?"

"Bingo."

Aisle is blocked off, crane is brought out, 15 minutes later he pulls out a box and hands it to me.

"That's not it, I need a 6 foot long heating tape, not wire, so I can wrap it around something. I can't wrap this rod. It needs to be 1.5 inches wide and insulated."

"Oh we don't have those."

"Gee. Thanks."

1 hour and $122 later (my charge out rate for 1 hour).