Stupid students

One thing I love about working here is getting summer students. We get the cream of the crop too, or at least have access to the best and brightest for the most part. (As compared to the vast majority of undergrads where I went to grad school.) They have to apply for internships and be accepted. Not like in teaching at the University where you were stuck with a class where 75% are wasting your time and theirs for 9 months of the year. And bonus, here, you only have them on your back, coat tails, in your ear for 3 months of the year. What could be better? Cheap labor (oh, excuse me, inexpensive) for the busiest time of the year, then the disappear!

What gets me is the way most of these students walk in here like they are the hottest shit around. My students don't behave like that of course. I pick the good ones. And if they want to mess around with me I will assign them reading as opposed to research or experiments.;-)

I have had some great students in the 3 years I have been here. Cynthia was *my* best and brightest. Ok, so I can't really claim her. She was passed off to me one summer. Then I had her back for another summer and whenever she could do Christmas break. She is now at Harvard in grad school. Writing a letter of recommendation to Harvard was one of my career high points!

And Erin, (a he), he is good. I gave him a task to research and he returned with more information than I really needed.

Then there were "the others".

There was Claire. She wasn't my student, but she needed a project and was therefore pawned off on me for half of her summer. My butt she "needed a project". Ha! More like she needed to get out of Glens hair. This tiny, skinny, little college freshman (who was majoring in English - hmmm... daddy work at the lab?) bent a freakin' 8" solid steel conflat flange. To this day I have no idea how.

Kate... oh Kate. The single biggest gossip in the group. If she just learned how to close her flippin' mouth on occasion. The girl thrived on gossip. Oh I mean "thrives", she is still here and seems to have wormed her way into a getting a permanent position listed for her.

Then there is Donald. He is the inspiration for this post today. Mom is the secretary to the lab director. So he was quickly ushered in last year with open arms. He was a student shared with one of my project managers and another woman. He was to work with me and take over some detector testing because I was going out on maternity leave last summer. I sent him repeated requests to come and learn what he was supposed to do, but he was always "too busy". Excuse me, doing what? You are supposed to be busy working for me. Finally I was at my wits end and sent him a note explaining I was going out on leave on Friday and needed him to meet with me. The following Monday he e-mailed me saying he was available. I just about went ballistic on him. It was probably good I only had e-mail access to him.

So imagine my surprise that Donald is back this year and not only that assigned to work on my LDRD task. I did not ask for this. My naive project manager took him on. He irritates the living daylights out of me. His manager has offered up instruments to my LDRD task left and right. Donald however, feels it is up to him to guard these instruments with the vigor or a lioness over her cub. So imagine my surprise when today after telling Donald (college undergrad sophomore) I needed the instrument, he e-mailed me (Ph.D. research scientist) saying that he could let me borrow it, but had to be assured he would get it back. Umm, bite me.

To which I responded. "Bring it over by the end of the day, this e-mail serves as evidence that you left it with me" and copied it to his manager.

Students are sometimes the stupidest things around. Man am I glad I am not in school anymore.