My vent

For 10 days now, I have said nothing. But I am still steamed. So here I am writing about it. Maybe I can get past it if I put it out there. Or maybe I will just get a number of calls telling me what a bitch I am. Well, my response to that will be that you are reading *my* blog, i.e., journal. So here goes.

When I was growing up birthdays were big in my family. My family always made a point to remember them, to recognize and to celebrate them. They still do. You will at minimum, get a card from all of my immediate family if you are related to me.

I know full well that not everyone else feels this way. And before I had a child I remember telling myself that it wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter on my birthday that my husband and my immediate family are the only ones who remember. Therefore, my child being an extension of me, it wouldn't matter to me if my child was forgotten, ignored, or just not recognized on his/her birthday. I truly felt this way. People told me my feelings would change, once it happened. But I disagreed, it wouldn't matter, because all my child would need is to know that *I* remembered and that for that one day, he/she was the most celebrated individual in my life.

I was wrong. It has, for 10 days now, irked the hell out of me that some people, who are seemingly so close to us, could not or would not, try to even pick up the phone, send a card or even a quick e-mail acknowledging the fact that one year ago a wonderful, smart, adorable little boy came into the world. And some people were even reminded ahead of time, through either my blog or phone calls (often more than one).

And it isn't about gifts either. Leif is a wonderfully privileged little boy with plenty of toys and clothes. It is about the thought.

E-mails, phone calls and cards were all wonderfully appreciated. I printed the e-mails all up and will put them with the cards in his one year scrapbook. I had a friend once who told me that every year for her kids birthdays, she would buy things and say that they were from grandparents, so that her kids didn't feel like they were forgotten, when they were in fact. I thought this was ridiculous - why hide the true nature of the person from the child? But here I am, having given serious thought of buying a bunch of cards and signing them with names, so that when Leif is old enough someday to look through his photoalbum, he doesn't ask me, "mommy where is a cards from X?" When/If it happens, I will lie. "Hmm, I must have misplaced it" or "oh honey, they called and you talked on the phone to them, but you were too little to remember".

I know, the first birthday is for the parents, not the child. So maybe I am making this all about Hans and me instead. Maybe. But if you need to make that excuse, well let's just leave it at that, an excuse.

Once again, to those of you who wrote, called, e-mailed, it was SOO appreciated. It is sometimes hard being away from family and friends, but especially on holidays or other important days. Your contact with us made our day. I was truly stunned at the array of people who DID remember and made an effort, people I haven't seen in person in over 3 years, and some in over 5 years.THANK YOU!