Tuesday, September 18, 2007

So this explains the trend to have one parent stay home

It is weeks/months like the past few in our household.

With one child, who had been through the ailments and illnesses that accompany daycare, we could deal with us both working. Paying one daycare tuition was acceptable. And splitting time off when someone needed to be home with Leif was tolerable.

Then Skaders arrived. And she is truly one of the two best things that have ever happened to us. (I don't want to give the impression I am blaming her.) Then AB took an internship (read no benefits - vacation, sick time or insurance). All that was fine in the name of getting experience and I carried the family on my insurance. And it paid off. AB is in the process of being hired on fully by a great company (though one that doesn't realize there is a child who could really use the extra dental insurance in the next 7 days).

And here I am going to sound like an excessive whiner, but it is taking its toll. Being the sole one responsible for doctor's appointments and staying home with the kids when sick, while I wouldn't have it any other way given the choice, it is hard with a full time career. I have said it before, I will say it again, I don't know what single parents do. AB works out of town and with no paid leave, it just doesn't make sense for him to try and take off to do this stuff, particularly while he is trying to prove himself to his management.

My manager called me today. As explained previously, my manager never calls. And being that the last time she called I got a mid-year raise I have to admit hearing her voice raised my hopes there for a nanosecond.

Nope, she called to talk to me about my chargeable hours goal for the fiscal year and see what my plan was. I admitted to having missed filling out my timecard yesterday since I was home with a sick kid (that I DID e-mail her about). Therefore my chargeable goal was 8 hours off. And yes, I realize that still left me teetering on the brink, but I actually was (just barely) within guidelines.

She told me she was concerned as I had zero, zippo, nadda sick time left (thank you maternity leave policies that I could rant about). Yet in my e-mail regarding my schedule for the coming week I told her I would be out for a full day for my son's dental work. She fully understood this necessity, but reminded me this would either be on vacation time or she would authorize unpaid leave because I could not flex this time so close to the fiscal year end, nor could I use sick time. (Don't even get me started on my banked time sitting there, waiting to be "used when one most needs it"...)

She was quite polite about it all. She gets it, she has three kids. And she admitted that she knew how hard this is in the first year after a new baby. I don't blame her. I don't know who I blame. Nobody really. Maybe benefits a little for not letting me at those 24 or so banked hours...

Picking up Skadi didn't help a whole lot. She had a rough day thanks to tooth #2 pushing it's way through her little gum. Combined with the recovery from this skin issue she had and I blogged about yesterday. It was just a sucky day for her. I am tired of her getting bumped to the other room for no apparent reason. I am tired of the dipshit second teacher over there who is having serious bouts of pregnancy brain and threw her clothes away today. Brand new outfit in the trash. I stood there and waited for them to find her clothes... thankfully.

It is hard having been on "the other side" and seeing the other option for care conveniently only once the kids are 1 year old. Maybe it was this bad when Leif was there... maybe I just didn't know any better and now I do.

I went home and looked at AB (after going and buying last minute new shoes for Leif on the way home since his broke today at school and he was very upset about it). I told him if I went to 80% time I could take Mondays off, he will have Fridays off and we could drop Skaders to 3 days a week at daycare. He pointed at our son's mouth. Then reminded me of the debt that accumulated from a year of unemployment and three years of tuition for his Masters.


Lotto anyone?

No comments: