Two days down

So today wasn't nearly as productive as yesterday. It also didn't start out well. Skadi didn't sleep as well as the night before. I KNEW I shouldn't have blogged about her great sleep. Then Leif woke up screaming this morning and was stuck to my side all.morning.long. He had to eat breakfast on my lap and then sobbed when I wasn't going to spend the entire morning sitting on the couch with him on my lap watching Curious George and letting Skadi cry in the bedroom. Misery.

What finally cured him? I should have known. He is behaving just like his father lately, striving to talk like him and such. A hot shower. He took about a 30 minute hot shower and was cured.

This morning I spent about 20 minutes conversing with his teacher about behavior issues. For once even though she said that he has been a challenge in class, she added on the phrase, "but no worse than any of the other kids this week, it's a tough week all around for some reason". She even told me that her granddaughter - also 3, has been exhibiting some "rather bizarre" behavior. I felt better.

Since I didn't care to hang out in my house while my housecleaner cleaned, I headed to Walmart for a few things with Skadi after the preschool dropoff. Then to the mall for a couple presents. I got home and was somewhat happy to see our housecleaner was gone. Partly because I looked forward to not having to hear about her wacky family, but the flip side was that she had only been there 2.5 hours. 2.5 hours and I pay her how much? House better be sparkling.

We got in and I went to go feed the fish. The temp on the tank was down. (Goldfish) It doesn't matter so much because these fish could survive the apocalypse. But I do have a plecostomas and it is getting to that time of year when they go belly up as the temp starts dropping. However, not to 66F. Dang. Killed another pleco.

66F? I have never seen the temp that low. I went to the house thermostat and it read 64F. No wonder we were cold. But I reset the thermostat yesterday knowing I was going to be home all week. It should be a balmy 72F.

Gurr. I made the call.

One way to warm up the house is to bake. Or maybe I just cannot stand to have a clean kitchen. It must just be subliminal. I made the fixings for five Thai chicken pizzas a la K&V and froze them. The fixings, not K&V. Then I also made these ginger cookies. Yum. The texture is amazing.

So I didn't get a jump on my Thanksgiving cooking. And I didn't finish up my photo albums. And I didn't sew curtains.

I did keep my daughter warm until the HVAC people could get there ($251 later and we have heat again). We also have yummy ginger cookies.

Part 3

We did the typical lab partner blah blah blah. Anyone who has taken a college science lab knows the drill. You are partnered with this person and good or bad, you get to know them very well as you hang out and watch water boil for four hours (minimum) per week.

I found out he was a chemical engineering major from Anchorage, Alaska. Sound familiar? I asked him if he knew my other ChemE friend from our PChem class. Sure enough... turns out their dads worked in the same industry (banking) growing up and they were acquaintances. He also told me the guy was "quite well known" in the engineering department as being a lady's man. I left it at that.

I started going to football games with two of my geek-boy friends. They were fun enough and taught me the rules... "if the ball is moving, no talking".

A few weeks go by and aside from the weird purple pants episode, my lab partner was growing on me. He was good looking and he was smart. He was entertaining to talk to. He was athletic and also enjoyed my favorite sport, volleyball, though he professed a real love for water polo. We talked about our past loves. He was newly out of a relationship and not looking for anything. It had been a year and a half since my last serious relationship (the guy I moved from Fort Collins with) and I was ready. We talked about the upcoming football game and I asked him if I could join him.

He seemed perplexed that I asked if I could watch the game with him but agreed upon a place to meet. He told me he had reserved tickets, but there was always plenty of room to squish in. I looked forward to squishing up next to him.

I bailed on the geek-boys. I showed up and met his engineering buddies and pretended to understand the game in front of me. I even picked up one of the free pom poms on my way in as an effort to show my interest. He was a sweet guy who was thoughtful of me, but darn it, was not showing ANY interest!

I started scooting closer to him in lab classes. Sitting next to him in our associated lecture. Letting my hand linger in pointing out something in his lab notebook. I would stress about what to wear when we would get together to work on our reports. (Would he notice my new Mary Jane Doc Martins? Would he like this brown sweater with a deep V in the front?) I found myself lingering and chatting after working on our reports, dreading the time he would say he either had to do rounds (he was an RA in the dorms) or needed to go to bed. You would have thought *I* never needed to sleep.

He continued to include me in his football plans with his engineering cronies and on away Saturdays I would miss him.

Then finally... one night after working on our lab reports he asked me if I wanted to walk over and get a beer at the bar across the street. I was amped! We went to the bar that was then quiet on that weeknight. The movie Better Off Dead was playing. I knew we were meant to be as we both knew all the lines. ("I want my $2!" ... "He puts his testicles all over me!" She said. "I don't think that word means what you think it means," he would say. ... "This is PURE snow man!")

That night after the beer we walked back to his dorm room in the lightly falling snow. I went to retrieve my lab report materials from his dorm room, and it happened. He kissed me.

I was elated.

To be continued...

(P.S. Purple pants... AB now he professes that he couldn't come to lab in shorts and for some reason had a pair of purple fleece long johns in his bag and put them on under his shorts instead of walking back to his dorm room... makes sense now. I suppose.)

Insanity for the OCD afflicted

What does it say about my son that he cannot put his reward stickers in the boxes of his reward chart? Nope, stickers stuck all over the chart, none in the boxes. Because that would be too ordinary? Expected?

What does it say about me that it is driving me absolutely insane to have stickers all over the chart and none in my very neat, perfectly square, constructed boxes? Insane, positively, absolutely insane.

He does this on purpose, I know.

One mental health day down

I kept Skadi home, but dropped Leif at daycare today.

I used to state that I didn't know what the Terrible Two's were all about. Nope, we didn't have the Terrible Two's in our house. We do, however, have the Terrible Three's. So not a fun experience. I am lucky, he is a great kid, he is a smart kid. But wow, he is exerting his will right now. And he is willful about everything. Everything is a battle lately. From sitting down to dinner, to what shirt he wants to wear, to pooping in the potty (again).

I selfishly kept him in preschool this week while Skadi and I took the week off. I want to give Skadi some one on one time with me. I want to live by her schedule for a few days. I want to not endure screaming at the mere suggestion of naptime.

Oh wait. I forgot... must maintain my facade that my child is an angel. Let me think of something funny or cute he has done lately...

Really, there should be something to write here...

Thinking...

Ok, well the one thing that really cracks AB and I up lately is that his speech patterns are uniquely AB's. I asked AB the other day what it feels like hearing your own voice and sentiments echoed back at you. Because I find it frankly hilarious hearing AB's speech patterns come out of this little 34 lb beanpole walking around my house. "Probably", "actually", "why don't we do this", "how about we..." and any combination of these phrases.

I am being selfish leaving Leif in preschool. And I am working on not feeling guilty about it.

Skadi fell asleep last night at 7pm and woke at 4:28am for a quick nurse and then back to her marathon sleep until 6:48am. That child can snooze when there isn't anything popping up in her way (teeth).

We took Leif to school and then ran to the bank. It was closed and since I wasn't going to take her out of her carseat and schlep her up to the foyer ATM, the banking will wait.

We headed to Winco for groceries. I debated Albertsons vs. Winco. Albertsons and the convenience, the nice store, the one stop shopping beckoned me. But the vast money savings of Winco won me over. Skadi is a most excellent shopping assistant and didn't make a peep the entire time, even while I bagged my own groceries (hate that).

We headed home where she went immediately down for a nap. I put the groceries away and had time for a quick e-mail check before she was back up again. Not surprising given the sleep previously.

We played around the house. She watched me hang the pictures that have been begging for places on the walls. She worked on her crawling (backwards still and that is oh so very frustrating to her). We ate some lunch, turned on Days of Our Lives and folded laundry. At 1:30 she was back down for her afternoon nap.

Wow did I score with the afternoon nap. 2.5 hours to pick up the house, make my Cranberry Zinfandel sauce and start on my photo albums. I was productive there. At 4pm she started making peeps and we packed up to go assuage my guilt and retrieve the boy child a little early.

I looked at my Monday list. I accomplished about half of it. The other half remained untouched, or changed. So "Go get bearhands" changed to "See if Leif's old Bearhands will fit Skadi and call the shoe store and see if they have Bearhands this year". (They do.) I will run Leif down sometime this weekend to pick some out - he wants yellow... they don't show yellow as an option on the website. Why oh why do they not make yellow when they make every.single.other.color. Mentally preparing myself now. "Oh look Leif, they have ORANGE! Isn't ORANGE your favorite color? ORANGE will match your olive green and blue coat SOO well!"

I didn't get out to pick up one of AB's presents. But I will do that tomorrow while my housecleaner is here. Since I don't want to be here while she is here - yap yap yap. (Must remember to pack up the stroller tomorrow morning.)

My list was optimistic. I knew this. But what is really important to me is to have the time with Skadi. What I get done while she sleeps is just my extra bonus.

(Will get more down on my how I started dating my husband post tomorrow.)

Part 2

So NOW my husband has become interested in reading my blog...

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That fall I looked forward to a year by myself, exploring the options, dating, or not! I was determined to find out what *I* liked.

It was my year to take Physical Chemistry, which was either going to rescue me as a Chemistry major or be my deciding factor to dump this major too since I loathed Organic Chemistry. I sat in about the third row in the deep pit of a lecture auditorium so I was strategically placed at my professor's eye level.

I was one of "those" students, the ones that always sat in the front.

I was raised that if I wasn't 15 minutes early, I was late. (Imagine how horrifying this is when you are 14 and there is a junior high dance to attend??)

This 9am class was my first of the day and I always arrived early before the doors were opened. A chemical engineer I didn't know always arrived early too. He had an 8am biochemistry class prior to this one and so he was always pretty punctual. We would politely acknowledge each other, but never really say a whole lot as we stood outside the JILA tower auditorium. He was immediately recognizable with his port wine stain on one side of his face. I had noted he was also in my Greek Mythology class and so we would make small talk about that class. Within minutes the people I knew from other classes would arrive, my conversations would switch elsewhere with my friends. The professor would come and open the door and we would file in.

The geek-boy friends I knew sat directly behind me. And nearly everyday, I sat next to the chemical engineer who told me his family was from Anchorage, Alaska. We would smile at each other and one day he asked me out. We dated off and on that year. Then he quit calling which was fine since I got tired of not being good enough or pretty enough or always sticking my foot in my mouth. We did maintain a polite friendship though. He continued sitting beside me... though now I wonder why? Was he copying off me in exams?

The following year when school was getting ready to start and football tickets were on sale I thought maybe I hadn't given him enough of a chance. I decided I was ready for a relationship, and well, he was good looking and nice enough.

I called him and since I knew he would be getting football tickets asked him if he would get mine too. (I had never gotten football tickets before, but thought it was a good excuse to touch base with him again.) He agreed and even rode his bike to my apartment to get my check and information from me. I thought things may be off and running with him again. I was hopeful at least after a year of being single and random dates.

The next Monday morning he gave me my football tickets. One set of general admission student tickets.

Umm what? General admission?

Oh, I thought you could get reserved seating, I mentioned to him.

He informed me that had I wanted reserved I would have had to go and pick out for myself where I wanted to sit. Apparently sitting next to him wasn't going to happen.

I was done.

Classes started my senior year in 1993. I was unsure what life held in front of me as I had just decided I didn't want to go to medical school. I surely didn't have the abilities to do grad school and here I was nearly finished with a degree in chemistry (I had loved Physical Chem by the way).

It was the first day of Physical Chemistry Lab and our TA, Scott, told us to partner up. I looked around dismayed to see my usual lab partners with each other.

You know that slight panic when you realize you are left out? I look over and saw the guy - the chemical engineer - from my PChem 1 class... the one with the port wine stain, who always stood outside the auditorium doors with me, not the one I used to sit by thank goodness.

We kind of nodded at each other, shrugged at each other and wa-la, we were lab partners.

Part 1

Fourteen years ago I started dating my husband to be. I look back now and think about that kid I used to flirt with, how I spelled his last name wrong on our first lab report and he corrected me. How I now spell that same last name for people who are tripped up by the one surprising letter in my otherwise simple last name.

I was a senior in high school bound and determined to leave Colorado for college. I wanted out and wanted to see something new. Despite the advice of my advisor and my mom, I applied only to out of state colleges, UC San Jose, UC Irvine and UC San Francisco. (I could have really used help in picking schools... Irvine is acceptable, of course, but the others? What was I thinking - other than Northern California sounded cool.)

At the last minute I decided I didn't want to leave Colorado.

I panicked and went to my advisor who made two phone calls. One to the admissions department at CU (50 miles down the road) and one to CSU - the college across the street from my high school. CU would give me a place in their music department and I could change majors after that.

What? Sure, 9 years of piano lessons as a kid, but I was not a musician. (I didn't understand colleges so well at 18.) They told me I didn't have to take music classes... but I went with the other option, Colorado State. I was in and good to go in the fall.

Fall arrived.

I dumped my high school boyfriend (who was a year behind me) early that first semester for a guy about 6 years older who I met at my job. We were both at school at CSU and he lived with his parents off campus. Coincidentally I had gone to high school with his little brother too.

Looking back I am not sure what I saw in him. He taught me a lot and I do admit that we had a good time together and he taught me about enjoying good food, he thought he knew a thing or two about wine and started me on the road to enjoying the beverage. He also pushed me over that first hurdle to becoming not so picky anymore. But a romantic relationship wasn't what I needed at that time. I needed to learn how to be by myself. I knew this in the back of my head, but it was a scary thing. So I ignored it.

(But I did like his family a lot! I still wonder how they are.)

One day he told me that he had been thinking... he said he was 24 years old and didn't want to live in his parent's basement and go to school there anymore. He wanted a better business school and was planning to go to CU.

I was upset he had just made the decision without asking me what I wanted. After a long discussion with him, thinking by myself and a talk with my mom I decided I too would switch to CU after my first year. I am not a person that takes change lightly. I knew that CU was where I really wanted to be, it was a better school for my major and a "cooler" town than the one I grew up in (which town isn't cooler than the one you grew up in?) and my mom encouraged me to go there, to expand my horizons, but I was still scared. (And I was going to move to California the year before??)

We up and moved. We had a townhouse together, two bedrooms I insisted and he was fine with that. (What kind of college relationship has two bedrooms where you actually stay in the seperate rooms?) I should have known this relationship wasn't for me when we were setting out to decide what we wanted for a place to live. Hindsite is 20-20.

About four months later, it was over. We resumed being friends, which was what we always should have been. And since neither of us could afford to move, or keep the townhouse by ourselves, we existed peacefully until our first years at CU were over. That spring my mom came down to help me find a one bedroom apartment and I set out to be single for one year. I was determined to find out who I was and to focus on school.

To be continued...

Leif's Playlist

After the trek home tonight where Leif whined for "the Curious George song" (Jack Johnson's Upside Down) nearly half the way I decided we need an acceptable cd for the car. He is none too enthused about my XM Radio selections. And the child, for some reason, despises KT Tunstall (one of the child acceptable cds in my car).

So tonight after dinner we sat down for our occasional YouTube session. Upside Down was the first request:




I can't argue with Leif there. He likes the monkey... and well, I just like Jack. Yummy. (Want more of Jack, put your cursor at the bottom of the video... the video for Taylor cracked me up. LOVE Ben Stiller.)

We hit "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" again. Then hit our new favorite Sesame Street. Maybe AB has a point with liking Bert... I find him quite humorous in this clip. "Ernie! Those sheep are tap dancing!"



We got Leif to bed and I finally had time to sit down and burn a cd for us to listen to in the car, that is a set of songs that I am assured that Leif and I will both like... right?

Steal My Kisses - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Swinging On A Star - Bing Crosby
Superman's Song - Crash Test Dummies
Upside Down - Jack Johnson
People Watching - Jack Johnson
We're Going to Be Friends - Jack Johnson (Love this one.)
3 Rs - Jack Johnson
Talk of the Town - Jack Johnson & Kawika Kahiapo
Sweet Baby James - James Taylor
The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats (AB balked at the inclusion of this, but Leif likes it!)
Heavy Things - Phish
Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - Simon & Garfunkel
Walkin' On the Sun - Smash Mouth
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
Particle Man - They Might Be Giants (My other nickname for AB...)

Man, I should have been a deejay. I think I missed my calling. My favorite song ever? Richard Thompson's 1952 Vincent Black Lightning, followed a close second by Persuassion and Beeswing.

Swimming, not just for summer anymore!

News flash to clothing stores!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I couldn't find Skadi a bathing suit the past two weeks given Leslie's difficulties back on August 1. I truly just do not get it. I mean, August 1 was still the height of summer here. I realize it is early November, but is this attitude the reason there is no full scale, open year round, public pool facility here?

I went to the mall after swimming on Saturday and ran to each of the kid's clothing stores in search of a 12-18 month swim suit for Skadi. No, she doesn't *need* a swimming suit, *I* am the one that needs her to have a swimming suit. She grew out of her cute little green bikini... the top at least, I am still putting her in the bottom and she is enjoying the water a la Brazilian style with no top.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when Gymboree, unlike the other stores who gave a polite apology, "nope, I am sorry, no swim suits", gave me a full on laugh with an "oh God no, it's cold outside!" response.

I haven't been impressed with the store even though I am a Gymboree fan. They carry only select items routinely, things are hard to sort through and they say and ask stupid things. Example, I am carrying my new baby girl at about 2-3 weeks old. The sales woman (who is the manager) oogles at her and asks HER name etc. Then asks me why I am returning a little blue boy's sweater. My response was, "well like you said, she is a girl".

I was annoyed. I responded, "it may be cold outside, but there are swimming lessons, swimming pools in health clubs and people do vacation in warm places with their kids". She suggested I try online. Yes, I know the online store far too well.

And you know, I think I will keep my Gymboree purchases to online only and will start entering the store only to return my online purchases that don't work.

Insert title here

I have no words for a title. Because right now I am just mad. I am ticked and I am hurt.

I got an e-mail from my sister in law saying that they don't like materialism and being that it "isn't fair" that we all have to buy for each of their three kids, they don't want it to continue this way. They have set up a new gift exchange routine that is just plain complicated, but essentially says who we will buy for with a strict amount. No draw. Oh and we will all buy for AB's sister... the one who the last two of the three years of the exchanges hasn't actually participated for some unknown reason. (She had AB each time, so I know this for certain.) But since she has no kids we are to shower her with gifts instead. How nice for her.

I hate that my kids don't know their cousins. But this is just another way to drive a wedge between already very distant cousins. "Sorry Leif, we aren't buying for those cousins. Oh and the one we are buying for, you won't receive anything from." No, I wouldn't say that. But do the kids all understand the dynamics of the exchanges? I am not sure I understand them.

As usual, I am the big stick in the mud that sent a big stick in the mud e-mail. I am on the bottom rung of daughter in laws, there is no place further to fall. I may as well tick off my mother in laws "best friend" (my SIL, aka the perfect mother).

Part of my job as a parent is to counter materialism with real parenting. It is also to teach my child that Christmas is not just about receiving, but it is also about giving and choosing items for people that are what THEY would like, and not what my son would like. And when receiving is involved since that is an inevitability (a joyous unevitibility for all kids out there) how to be a gracious recipient and to politely acknowledge the gift and the generosity of the giver.

On Thursday on the way home Leif told me he wanted to get N a surprise. We talked about this since his first suggestion was that he wanted to buy her Colorado. (Wondering if it is really... color yellow?) We decided after we talked about the logistics of "giving" Colorado, that he would give N a book, "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus". It is his favorite book and we just so happened to have a spare copy put up on a shelf as a Christmas gift for someone else (oh maybe a cousin I am no longer supposed to buy for?) He very excitedly picked out a gift bag and a big green bow to put on it. He was proud to take it to her. She said thank you and Leif was happy. He talked about giving her the book a few times this evening.

Then tonight we went to sit down to read books before bed. I asked Leif if he wanted to read the Pigeon book. He told me, "but I gave my favorite book to N", in an almost matter of fact way.

"No Leif," I told him, "you gave her a copy of the same book. See you still have the book too! You didn't give her your book." I pulled out his copy to his complete astonishment.

"Oh!" he told me excitedly. "Then let's read that one and probably N's mommy is reading her the pigeon book too right now."

I had tears in my eyes. I was so proud of him. My son did that well all the time thinking he was giving the one and only copy of his favorite book away. Even when it was time to read it, he accepted he had gifted it to someone else very matter of fact.

I do believe *I* am doing the right thing with my son.

October is over!

The doom and gloom month at work is gone. It is too bad it is October, because this is a month I normally really enjoy. But I suppose maybe it is good it is not a month that I really dislike... like February.

Things are looking up. Suddenly I am feeling more optimistic about my future at my company and those recent dips in my bobber I threw out into the pond seem a whole lot less lucrative. During last month one of the only things that kept me from telling AB we needed to throw in the towel here was first that he actually has a job he likes, second my 5 years of service with my company (which translates into 4 weeks vacation a year), third my flexibility with my job. Being able to take a morning off to chaperone a field trip, or run out early to get a sick kid without anyone questioning my motives, is huge. So while I am a cappy by nature, a goat that seeks to climb the ranks professionally, I also need to look at the needs of my family and the type of mother I strive to be and find balance.

And maybe this doesn't mean packing my family up, moving to the city to pursue life an industry career.

Anyways, this past week I had a number of proposal meetings. I had lunch with one of the higher up scientists who I really look up to both profesionally and on a personal level. It was an impromptu lunch where we discussed a proposal call and I also bounced off an idea on him and received an affirmative answer back on feasibility and desire to be involved. Which for a scientist his level means, "you can put my name on your proposal to add strength and viability".

Then on Friday I got word from my manager that one of my concepts was accepted for full proposal! Yay me!

November is at least starting out in a positive manner.

Things he says

Riding home in the car the other day:

NM: "Leif are you happy?"

Leif: "Yes, I am happy and cute too!"

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Leif getting his flu shot said to the nurse:

Leif: "Ouch, she poked me! You NEED to say you are sorry!"

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Thursday morning I was nursing Skadi on the bed before we left for work. Leif asked if he could turn on the TV in our room (that seriously probably hasn't been turned on in years) and "watch the news". I told him he could. The TV is on the National Geographic channel and it is one of the umpteen million shows about researchers searching for shipwrecks on the ocean floors - which I actually do find interesting sometimes.

NM: "Leif I can change the channel to Sesame Street if you hand me that remote over there."

Leif: "No, I am very curious about that boat."

He sits and watches for a few minutes.

Leif: "Wow, that is a beautiful boat." (Verbatim from AB, identical voice inflection and everything."

NM: "That is a neat boat."

Leif: "My grandpa builds boats."

NM: "Your great great grandpa was a boat builder, your great grandpa built boats for fun and he built the boat that you and daddy use at the cabin."

Leif: "Daddy is a good boat driver. Daddy and I are going to build a boat."

(Of course this has conversation and subsequent conversation later in the day with AB about the show has prompted AB to return his thoughts to boat building...)

A look ahead

I am already relishing the fact that I have only one week left until I am gone baby gone for one full week. Ok, not really "gone", but just not at work. Leif will stay in daycare Monday and Tuesday and likely Wednesday. I would normally keep him out Wednesday, but truth be told I think he will have a better time at preschool than home with Skadi and me. Additionally I want to give Skadi some much needed one on one time. And selfish me - I won't have to deal with getting him down for nap.

So here is my list of planned events...

Prior to the big event (i.e., the week off):
-3. Upload all recent photos and order prints.

-2. Confirm guest list for Thanksgiving day.

-1. Sit down with AB and create menu and compile grocery list.

On my list (priority items):
1. Put all photos in photo album.

2. Finish Leif's curtains for his room.

3. Grocery shop for T-day.

4. Prep what I can ahead of time (that list will come a little later).

After the above "need to do" list is done we move onto:
5. Sort through the bags and bags of baby/kid clothes. What can be donated/sold? What do I really want to keep?

6. Figure out where Christmas village is going and set it up since it is stored in the garage (and I don't need my husband to get it out).
6a. Take a trip to Macy's and Michaels with Skadi to get some "extras" for the village. I want my village to rock this year. Ok, maybe it will rock in a few years...
6b. A proper outline must have two subtopics... it bugs me when they don't.

7. Christmas photo of the kids dressed in Christmas clothes.
7a. Decide on card photo/photos
7b. Order cards.

Further down my list, filed under "wishful thinking":
8. Clean out Leif's closet and get it in order for him to use.
8a. But that will require having a place to put all.that.stuff. (What do you do with your wedding dress, for example?)
8b. Garage sale fodder? (NOT the wedding dress.)

9. Finish organizing our closet - go through and get rid of clothes unworn.

And under "if time should stand still while I remain in motion":
10. A trip to Joanne's for fabric and cute patterns.
10a. Look up pillowcase dresses, get the materials for one, and find/borrow from any number of princesses around, white wings. And Skadi will also need a halo... My Christmas Angel.
10b. For complete hokiness factor make Leif be a shepherd...

And under "if money suddenly becomes no object":
11. I really want a new outfit for the holidays. Maybe two. Maybe I just want new clothes. Whatever it is, shop for clothes for ME and not the kids. Sure Skadi could use a few more things but not one more item can fit into Leif's dresser. No way no how.

Paper thin walls

The office next to me was vacated a few weeks ago. Offices don't stay empty for long around here. I waited anxiously to see who would occupy it. Would it be one of my buddies from my former building who are all seeking offices before their building is demolished? (Please oh please let them find offices - I don't want to share.)

Or my former manager.

Though I AM having one humongous heyday remembering the very ironic conversation I had with him 3.5 years ago about office hierarchy. Or maybe it is really more of an issue that deposed managers fall so far in ranking that he now must live with the common folk.

Mental note to self... remember the walls are paper thin.

Making Christmas, Making Christmas.

The shopping bug? It has hit.

Just over two years ago I bought on clearance some wonderful Pottery Barn silver garland. All five feet of one strand.

My tree is nine feet tall. (Yes, I like Christmas THAT much. AB is not sure he likes Christmas that much... all 200 lbs and three boxes of tree.)

Five feet of garland, nine foot tree. Five feet of garland, nine foot tree.

See where I am going here? Great, you are smarter than I was.

I love my pretty silver berry garland. I am tired of my Crate and Barrel star garland.

The last two years I have waited for someone to make a knock off (hello Target), but no one has.
I now like eBay too and look forward to receiving my additional 3 strands of garland so I can kick the star stuff to the street... well at least to the garage sale pile. (Where I can hopefully also convince AB to kick the icicle lights that are so 90's in exchange for something a little more classy. Since we will be home and all for Christmas this year.)

PB got the best of me

No. I didn't succumb to the $68 Christmas gingham dress.

But Skadi needed a Christmas stocking for this year. Which meant that in the name of matching, Leif probably needed one as well. And I am a sucker for Christmas stuff. And personalized Christmas merchendise? Well resistance was futile.

I am telling myself that there is no way Target would have had these adorable stockings and that $19 and free shipping each wasn't bad. (Ok, $25 each once you include the personalization.) Note to self to check back after Christmas to get a couple on sale for AB and I. We can live for another year with stockings that only match each others (and Winny's).

Oh and since I was there... and I am a sucker for buying early... way early. Leif and Skadi also got Easter baskets. For $5.99 they were practically paying me to take them.

And then the real reason I went back to the site? Standing in the shower this morning it dawned on me that I COULD buy that cute spring time PB Baby dress on clearance for $12.99 and Skadi can wear it for Easter this year. I couldn't even get an Easter dress for from Target for $12.99... and it is so freakin' cute. I did skip the monogramming though.

Step away from the PB Baby website

What has this girl child done to me?

While I would like to say how easy I *know* it would be to make this dress over Thanksgiving... I also remember the cute lemon fabric and sundress and bonnet patterns sitting on my sewing machine from this past summer. Untouched.

So I will repeat until it sinks in:

I could not would not make the dress.
I will not will not buy the dress.
Not in my shopping cart
Not on my machine
Pottery Barn, you let me be!
I do not like cute gingham dresses.
I do not like them PB Kids.

(Of course there is the taunting voice I hear...

You do not like them so you say,
Try them try them and you may,
You may I say.)

An evening of mourning

Last night AB and Leif went out onto the porch with a big knife and the trash can. They hacked my giant pumpkin to pieces. Ok, AB did the hacking, Leif tossed the pieces in the trash can.

I went out to check on them and was nearly choked up at seeing the demise of my giant.

"It's so sad Mommy," Leif said with a big grin on his face as he tossed chunks into the can.

"It is sad," I told him.

Somehow a big sendoff seemed more fitting. But what do you do when you have 140 lbs of one pumpkin to send off?

AB said he was a little concerned about the trash can. A total of 210 lbs of pumpkin on top of our regular trash might give the garbage truck a run for its money.

Long weekend wrap up

I walked into work this morning on time. This is a noteworthy achievement. One that may be repeated tomorrow morning and maybe even Wednesday morning. However, by week's end, I fully expect the kids to be settled into the time change and we will resume the 5-30 minutes late "normal" schedule. Time change? Loathe it. My kids are happily ingrained in a schedule and I have yet to see why we must go about fiddling with the time. Pick a time and stick with it already.

Ok, now that I have that off my chest.

We had a lot going on this weekend. A long weekend for us all. My FIL and his girlfriend arrived Thursday night. Leif, despite our insistence that "grandpa from Alaska" was coming to visit us and not Bompa from Colorado, was hugely disappointed when our expected visitors weren't who he was expecting. He took me into the kitchen and asked that I tell them to leave. Now.

That didn't happen obviously. Instead Leif grew to appreciate their presence after realizing that grandpa came with pool access. And Friday morning at the Holiday Inn Express afforded us the luxury of an entire pool and hot tub just for us. We had lunch at a local winery/bistro where Leif was able to eat cracker straws and salami and run around scuffling in the leaves while we enjoyed the fall air and a nice Gewurztraminer.

Dinner also took Leif by surprise. We had talked for days of Miss K coming over on Friday night. Well, then the strep struck her. (Or flakiness struck her, I never know which.) I had to scramble at the last minute. I made a quick call to Skadi's teacher and we had a new sitter. One who Leif didn't know (despite our insistence that she knows him VERY well) and certainly wasn't going to roll around on the floor with him. I have seen Miss K... I know exactly why Leif wants to roll around the floor with her...

He was apparently quite subdued the whole night. But upon Miss R's arrival to the house, Skadi was thrilled. She bounced and giggled when Miss R walked in the door. Bonded. I know this made Miss R's day.

Dinner that night at the other winery was fantastic. There had been discussions of slow service, but everything that night was on cue if not too fast. I was a little worried we would go home and Leif would still be awake. Believe me, if I am paying a sitter, I want a sleeping child when I get home!

I handed Miss R a wad of cash. I did my calculation. According to my coworkers, if your babysitter is a professional, you never pay less than minimum wage. And what is minimum wage? $9/hour or so. Truth be told, I have no idea. I rounded up given that I have two kids. We were gone 2.5 hours. Wa-la... a reasonable payment for a night out and about what I pay Miss K or A. Miss R took the $5, handed me the $20 back. Insisted. Ok, I KNOW babysitters make more than $2 an hour. I protested. Then she insisted I put my $20 away. Just wait until Christmas.

Saturday morning Leif had swimming lessons, which he excelled at. Then AB and I got our suits on. AB went into the pool and played around with Leif while I went and did parent tot lessons with Skadi. I had been worried about timing with nap - though not the stress level that I did at that age with Leif. Skadi loved it.

After swim lessons it dawned on us that we had already had a full weekend it seemed, yet it was only Saturday morning. We headed to Target for a few things and well, also because I like new stores. Nevermind that the "old" Target is very close to the health club. Leif and Skadi each had $20 gift cards from grandma for Halloween. Leif can count to 20 and so I hoped to use this time as a learning experience for him as well. We need to find out how much something costs and if it is lower than 20, then you can get it.

How naive I am.

It turned into a lesson of, "you can't just have everything you can grab". I truly think to this point he was fairly oblivious to the toy aisles. Though we did have a shot at working on one of the more important lessons, "you can have X or Y but not both" where X was a Spiderman and Y was a Buzz Lightyear. That slowed him down.

Buzz was the verdict after much deliberation.

Saturday afternoon AB wanted a trip back to the apple orchard to pick more apples. Because when you don't have massive quantities of fruit to process, cook or preserve, you just apparently become almost bored. (Eye rolling? Naw, not here.) You know you live in a small town when you get to the orchard. They are closed. But you call them and they come right down to help you with all the supplies. We hurried in our apple picking since we didn't want to completely inconvenience the owners. Though I expect it was probably the easiest $20 they made in a long time. 20 lbs of apples later...

Sunday was grocery morning where we spent loads on food. We spent a fair portion on foods aimed at establishing a more "Meditteranean Diet". I am actually doing pretty good at losing the pregnancy weight (thank you breastfeeding). All of my pre-Skadi pants are fitting me. (Pre-Leif pants will take a little more work.) But AB and I are foodies enough to know that we will never be able to go with a Nutrisystem or prepackaged foods diet without approaching depression. We also know that as we approach our late 30's (only approaching here... I have another 2 months at 35) that we need to change our daily diet even more so that we don't continue to gain weight. Incorporating excercise would be ideal, but aside from our evening walks and weekend madness, we just aren't there yet. Though we will get there. But until then, Meditteranean dieting we will do.

Sunday afternoon Leif, Skadi and I were playing in the backyard. I happened to note that the double wagon had seatbelts. Hmmm. Sure enough I could secure Skadi in the wagon and entice Leif to join her. Since AB was plastered to the TV screen watching either the Seahawks and Browns or the Colts and the Pats, we headed out onto the walking path. A half hour later Leif was crying, "I don't want to go back home", but Skadi was looking a touch chilly, and I was huffing and puffing from hauling them down the path and back. AB? Never even noticed we were all absent from the backyard for that 30 minutes. And the double wagon? Amazing! Skadi loved being a big kid, and Leif loved entertaining her. Winny just loved getting out. I did not think I would be out on a walk with both kids and the dog by myself.

Dinner was easy last night as I had put hamhocks and beans on earlier in the day. Comfort food at its best. My grandfather made this and I chowed it from the time I was Leif's age. Leif wasn't so interested though. That's ok. More for me.

This is Halloween

A tiger and a ladybug - a ladybug that really wants to crawl.

It's the Great pumpkins!

Heading out for tricks and treats! There was a major haul by the end of the night in our house.

And this is par for the night with Bean the Ladybug. Fussy, fussy. But at least she was cute...

End of an era... at least a little era

I packed up my Medela Lactina yesterday. Sigh. If you don't know what that is. You probably don't really want to know.

One benefit - and truly, no tongue in cheek here, it is a benefit - of working where I work is that if you are a woman, after you have a baby, you get the use of a hospital grade breast pump for 6 months. Really, really nice benefit since you also get the kit that goes with it.

I love the Lactinas. I really, really do. Last year after I finagled an extra month of use out of the one I had on loan I looked at purchasing one on eBay. They ran about $800. After gasping a little, I decided at that point to buy a new PIS-A instead, which I used for that last 5 months.

So comparison now that I have experienced both... the Lactina is worlds above the PIS-A. There is a reason for the price discrepancy. I can expect my supply now to take a dip. Which is fine as I near these last 4.5 months of pumping daily. AB is probably hoping it does dip since we truly have no more room in the freezer.

(Which by the way, I was told there was a special on Dateline about donating breastmilk internationally, anyone have the info? I exhausted all avenues regarding local donation "just in case" I really ended up with that much. See I am an over producer. Massive, massive over producer. Like 13 gallons in my freezer over producer. You really wanted to know that didn't you? And no, I am not going to make soap, or cheese.)

This time I didn't need to finagle another month. When I got the e-mail saying "bring it down tomorrow", I could do it. Which by the way, how about a little reminder. Something like "just a hint from benefits... your child is now 6 months... you know what that means!" It would probably minimize those number of panicked e-mails back from moms saying "Wait! It can't be! I still need it!"

It's my second run with the big blue box. Kind of sad to think about hauling it in. But I will head down to hand it over to a brand new mom with a brand new itty bitty baby of her own.

Mine? Not so bitty anymore. All 23 pounds of her courtesy of mama milk.