My daughter's clothes

A huge issue.

A way too big of an issue, IMO.

One similarity with Skadi and I is that when I was 5, I wore only dresses too. I had some weird and irrational thought that if I wore pants, someone might think I was a boy. I had long hair. I didn't look like a boy. But I was POSITIVE that someone would think me a boy.

When I was very little - probably around three - my dad's mom bought me a pair of cowboy boots. But she poisoned them. She poisoned them because she said "cowboy boots!" Not cowgirl boots. I still remember screaming my head off and my mom hissing through her teeth at me that I WOULD try them on for her one way or another. It was horrible. My feet were poisoned by boy shoes.

Skadi has these same delusions, sort of, at least. With footwear, she is all about comfort and one of her recent favorite pairs of shoes was a pair of brown hand me down Keens from her brother. I have no idea.

But not only does she want to wear a dress daily, but she adds her own flair to her style.

And it is the flair that she and her kindergarten teacher may come to blows over.

I am pretty sure her kindergarten teacher has labelled me as one of *those* parents. At Skadi's fall conference she mentioned one instance regarding the "class t-shirt" and it not being her issue.

The Class T-Shirt. So the deal is that at the beginning of the year the teacher requested we send in a white t-shirt for our kids that would be decorated in all the same way to give the class a consistent and fun look for field trips, group pictures, assemblies, etc. "The kids are just so cute in them!" She proclaimed!

Great!

Except Skadi HATES hers. Despises it.

So Skadi came home last fall with a sticker instructing the kids to wear the t-shirt the next day. And she refused. Wanted nothing to do with it. Since Skadi goes to morning care and I feared it being taken off and left somewhere (since a pink t-shirt underneath is mandatory in Skadi world) - I don't know, stuffed into some drawer or down the toilet at her morning care? I put it in her backpack and sent an e-mail to her teacher explaining that Skadi didn't want to wear it, it is in the backpack, hopefully when she sees the other kids wearing theirs, there will be positive peer pressure and she will want to put it on.

Well at conferences I was told that was out of line and not a teacher issue, not for them to deal with, it was up to me to get her in the t-shirt, her job is to teach.

Actually I disagree a bit. The Class T-Shirt is not part of a uniform that I agreed to. It was a request by the teacher that she wear this t-shirt. Therefore, your request, your problem. Not to be a complete bitch about it or anything, really. But I was rather annoyed.

That hasn't been the end of The Class T-Shirt. Skadi still despises it and on the days before she is supposed to wear it the teacher puts a sticker on the kids' shirt on their way out the door for the day reminding parents.

Any guesses where those stickers go?

I have no flipping idea because I don't see them! So instead Skadi ends up being the only child not in a matching t-shirt on a regular basis. I do have a secret weapon - friends. I have enlisted a parent friend from the class to let me know when her son comes home with a sticker to wear the special shirt.

But seriously, a battle where I am left shaking my head "why?!"

As I mentioned earlier Skadi has her own flair. She loves wearing a tiara daily. She loves pink. She loves dresses. And she prides herself on her clothing "creations". She argues about what matches and what doesn't. She is a clothing centric child. I was not. I like nice clothing and like shopping for clothes (this she got from me), but I don't push the syle boundries.

One day I got an e-mail home citing a school dress code violation. I was perplexed. I looked at my daughter. She was wearing a dress that she has owned for two years, wore to her grandfather's wedding and wears nearly once a week. And now... out of the blue... a dress code violation? Despite the fact that she had a sweater on covering the bare shoulders each day, it was cited that she wore sleeveless dresses two days in a row. (The previous day she did have a halter dress on, but wore a jean shirt/cardigan/light jacket over it.) If this was a problem, why wasn't it brought to my attention when she wore it first and not after 25 times? How do I explain to my daughter that I know it was ok last week when  you wore the dress, but now it isn't?

Skadi gets it I think - and it may sound awful - but I blame her teacher. "Remember Mrs. W said you can't wear dresses without sleeves?" But you know? It works. And there is no battle. And she willingly changes to abide by Mrs. W's rules.

The other day Skadi wore a long flowing maxi-style skirt that she loves. Apparently when running on the playground she tripped on the dress and it ripped. Badly. Skadi came home in a pair of humongous sweat pants. I e-mailed her teacher acknowledging the rip and thanking her for loaning her a pair of sweat pants.

I kind of expected an e-mail back saying, "you're welcome".

Not surprisingly the e-mail back to me was not a "you're welcome" but instead said that she wouldn't need the pants if she would quit wearing long dresses and skirts and recommended that maybe if I let Skadi pick out a pair of sparkley pants that she wouldn't feel so compelled to wear dresses all the time.

I didn't respond. Because if you don't have anything nice to say...

I thought pretty strongly about snapping a picture of my daughter's pants collection - the pink jeans, the cheetah print jeggings, the pink cheetah print jeans, the yoga pants, pink fleece pants... - and sending that off.

But I resisted. I may have cursed a bit, felt as though I was being judged as a mom, wondering if she had even MET my daughter... oh wait, those e-mails about my daughter's stubborn nature recently... maybe she had met her once.

I came to a conclusion the other day... I continually get notes about Skadi's lack of progress when tested linked to her refusal to do simple tasks... apparently she only knows 5 letters, for example. (Yet she can write her and her brother's full names and most of her sight words...)

Maybe if the teacher quit worrying about and focusing on my daughter's clothing, she could focus on teaching my daughter?

It's all about the hangers!

It was an innocent enough action. Last time I went to Target I grabbed a pack of pink child’s hangers. Skadi was in need of more hangers. No big deal, right?

Except that the majority of the other hangers in her closet are white.

It would have never been noticed that there existed a realm of pink hangers had I just stuck with the white ones.

But now every article of clothing on a WHITE hanger has been deemed offensive.

Every white hanger needs to be banished to the depths.

This morning the dress that Skadi REALLY wanted to wear was found to be on the despised white hanger.

She took it out. Took the dress off the white hanger. THREW the hanger in the trash. (I retrieved the hanger and put it in Leif’s closet.) Pulled down a pink hanger. Rehung the dress on a pink hanger. Hung the dress up. Then stated:

“Oh I think I will wear this beautiful dress on the pretty pink hanger!”

Guess who will be loading up on freaking pink hangers the next time I go to Target?!

Shopping bug

I have had a little shopping thing going on the past few weeks. It all started with my girls trip to Colorado. I successfully reigned myself in there knowing that whatever I bought had to be carried back in my one bag or in a carry on.



I suppose I have recently felt the need to make up for my lack of clothes shopping there. Or maybe it is just the fall bug that hits me screaming "buy new clothes!" Is it a leftover issue I carry with my from childhood? It's time to start school again, so we buy new clothes! Or is it just my lack of desire to wear the clothes I wore last year?



And for the first time in my life I am having closet storage issues. I suppose I should purge my clothes before buying new.



My favorite online store ever, Sundance, is having a clearance sale. The clothes arrived Saturday, so now I can officially rave, now that I know I don't need to go back and buy more. Pants that were made for me. Seriously. Or at least they feel that way.



Then my partner in shopping enabling sent me a link to some cute shirts at Sierra.



And I finally got the swimsuit from Athleta that I ordered at the end of July, enabling courtesy of V there. Not Athleta's fault the original suit never arrived, apparently the suit just had grander plans of wandering around West Richland instead of actually landing at my house.



I am trying to resist a pair of Merrell Plaza Bandeau's that I swear are phoning me as I type.



The temperature here has dropped recently and so all those cute strappy sundresses and sleeveless tops I bought for my daughter have a finite lifetime. My shopping bug did not stop with me. Gymboree's Circle of Friends sale saved me from having to pay full price for fall clothes for her and also filled my Gymbucks bank up again.



And apprently she is also going to need new shoes soon. We will have to see if I can pry the Keen's from her feet. There might be tears involved.



Leif is fully stocked on fall clothes since his growth is ridiculously predictable and I stocked up on clearance stuff for him last spring. He did however, score new shoes a week or so ago as well as browsed the PBKids catalog last night and put in requests for Star Wars sheets and the butterfly Halloween costume. (Over the shark... seriously.)



My husband? Shopping for him? He looks at me a little blankly when I asked him if he needed anything while I just so happened to be placing an order at Sierra. His response? I need new insoles for my shoes. I suppose it's good he balances me out a little.

Big Red

I read a Babble article awhile back written by a woman who was disappointed her little blonde princess sat quietly in the corner willingly giving up her toys to more bossy, bigger children. She lamented that she didn't want her daughter to grow up to be a pushover, she wanted her to stand her ground. I know, I could go link the article, but I am being lazy like that. I am sure you can find it if interested.

I didn't take much issue with the writing. Or the scenario, no one wants their kid to be a pushover just like no one wants their kid to be the bully. A happy medium is preferable.

I was torn with the article, the confusion of emotions I felt were wrapped up in resolving physical versus personality characteristics. You see the play group bully was "Big Red" described in a not so flattering way.

Or maybe I am just overly sensitive?

I cringed everytime I read "Big Red" in that article. I considered navigating away but apparently I am a glutton for punishment.

I grew up in a common era believing that being "Big" was bad for a girl. My mom worried what I would grow up to be like since I was a big baby and to top it off, I had red hair. An anomaly in my family. A Big Red.

When my just over 6 lb blonde baby sister was born there was a sigh of relief. As I got older and heard the stories describing the differences between my sister and I when we were born I interpreted it that at least one baby wouldn't be an Amazon! I also interpreted it as favoritism.

And before I go any further I just have to say that there is a quote out there to the effect of, "you never know how much you are loved until you have children of your own". So, so true. I am a mom who was a very, very loved child. And I have every confidence in that. What child didn't grow up thinking their sibling was the favorite? So back to the regularly scheduled program...

I feared being "big" to the point that when I heard somewhere that coffee stunted your growth I used to sneak sips of my grandmothers vile brew while I was over there. Hopeful that those little quantities, because I could not stand anymore than that, would make me petite.

By third grade my growing slowed and I came home exclaiming to my mom that I was one of the shortest ones in the class! Goal achieved. I was proud of myself.

I grew to an average height while my sister passed me up and is a willowy 5'7" to my not so willowy 5'5".

My children at birth were so nearly identical, even in appearance, that I not so jokingly have said that if I don't label their birth pictures I wouldn't know which was which. Though the delivery room was oriented opposite for each since I was in room 4 for Leif and room 5 for Skadi. But as I have mentioned before, and you can see by the pictures, my Beaner grew. And grew.

And I love every morsel on her.

Despite this I still bristle when I hear or read "Big Red".

I loathed being called this as a kid and it was routine until age 8. It would nearly send me to tears and even now I have bit my tongue more than once when observant friends and strangers have called her "Big Red".

I don't fear her being a big girl like I feared growing into one myself. Did you watch Dancing with the Stars and see Leila Ali? Talk about beautiful. Gabrielle Reece? Wow.

My girl will most likely not crack 6' tall because AB himself is 6'1", the same height as his dad and the tallest ones on their side. My dad is 6'2". So we don't have an abundance of tall genes in our family and they are equally balanced out by the short genes.

Skadi is on her way to slimming down with her increased mobility. I even bought her jeans for next fall. And I can very nearly buy her clothes with reckless abandon and not have to worry about the strechiest elastic waists.

Still... yes... I am sensitive about comments to her size. Because to a mom, you are talking about a piece of them.

And how many adults do you walk up to and touch their rolls and comment about them being big? Even if said in a flattering way, you might make it to two if the first one was being kind.

Economic Stimulus Plan

I know... I shouldn't be spending money. But for some reason this is a great time for sales. It is after the "After Christmas" sales. So stores are really looking to move stuff while they bring in the summer stock.

And I fall prey to good deals.

Here are my recent finds:

Check out Skadi's Christmas dress for next year. PBKids in chocolate. And for $16.99 and free shipping.



And then this is a funny story behind this skirt.



I ordered it ages ago when I found it for $14.99, regularly $79 from JJill. Then promptly forgot about it. It was backordered and all. Completely forgot about it. Apparently I figured when I it arrived at some distant time I would love it whatever time of year at that price. I was right.

It arrived the other day and at first I was completely perplexed. My size... my style... love the skirt... but where did it come from? Slowly memories of ordering a skirt on backorder for possibly months came to me. Sure enough the price was right. I was sold.

And I love the skirt. LOVE it.

Then I needed new hand soap. Checked Drugstore and they didn't have the scent I wanted. So I went to Amazon and they had it, but from eBubbles and I would have actually had to pay for shipping. Which I don't like to do at Amazon. Checked eBubbles and was thrilled I did since they had free shipping and free lotion and two free samples of your choice.

Hmmm... what else? Oh yes, I bought makeup. V pointed me to E.L.F. a few weekends ago. It has truly been ages since I have bought make-up. I just have a hard time justifying the price since I like good stuff, but I don't wear it daily (other than mascara, moisturizer, sunblock and powder). I badly needed new. I finally checked it out and dropped a whopping $16 on 16 items. I hope the quality is there because the price is.

Then there was the Old Navy pre-summer sale that I bought loads of knock around clothes for Skadi, and a few things for Leif.

Then there was Gymboree... three pairs of clearance pants in the cupcake style for Skadi. Well I did order her a cupcake hair clip from AK and all. (This is sounding worse than buying the shoes and then buying clothes to match the shoes... something I have never been guilty of.) But I loved the cupcake line and since it was on clearance... let's just hope by next fall she can wear jeans and a 2T is her size. It's a gamble with the Beaner.

Oh and did I tell you about the Lands End diaper bag I won? Courtesy of Self Made Mom's Product Review blog. I love bags.

Hmmm... what else? Oh and I registered some domains today. Registered Skadi's name. I registered Leif's on his first birthday and decided to do the same for Skaders... a few weeks early. But I was in the domain registering mood as I secured thenuclearlife.com and will be switching things over to there over the next week. Don't worry, your bookmarks will still work, but I made the semi-conscious decision to push the blogging a little further. I blog regularly, why not see what comes of it?

And well, that is the story of my economic stimulus plan! (I am tackling Penzeys tomorrow... AB's complaint about not having cumin prompted an inventory of the spice rack and a determination that a Penzeys order is required... anyone who lives near me and wants anything let me know.)

My husband doesn't read my blog... does he?

PB got the best of me

No. I didn't succumb to the $68 Christmas gingham dress.

But Skadi needed a Christmas stocking for this year. Which meant that in the name of matching, Leif probably needed one as well. And I am a sucker for Christmas stuff. And personalized Christmas merchendise? Well resistance was futile.

I am telling myself that there is no way Target would have had these adorable stockings and that $19 and free shipping each wasn't bad. (Ok, $25 each once you include the personalization.) Note to self to check back after Christmas to get a couple on sale for AB and I. We can live for another year with stockings that only match each others (and Winny's).

Oh and since I was there... and I am a sucker for buying early... way early. Leif and Skadi also got Easter baskets. For $5.99 they were practically paying me to take them.

And then the real reason I went back to the site? Standing in the shower this morning it dawned on me that I COULD buy that cute spring time PB Baby dress on clearance for $12.99 and Skadi can wear it for Easter this year. I couldn't even get an Easter dress for from Target for $12.99... and it is so freakin' cute. I did skip the monogramming though.

Step away from the PB Baby website

What has this girl child done to me?

While I would like to say how easy I *know* it would be to make this dress over Thanksgiving... I also remember the cute lemon fabric and sundress and bonnet patterns sitting on my sewing machine from this past summer. Untouched.

So I will repeat until it sinks in:

I could not would not make the dress.
I will not will not buy the dress.
Not in my shopping cart
Not on my machine
Pottery Barn, you let me be!
I do not like cute gingham dresses.
I do not like them PB Kids.

(Of course there is the taunting voice I hear...

You do not like them so you say,
Try them try them and you may,
You may I say.)