Poor abused second child

So I headed to gymnastics with the kids this evening with the intention of disenrolling. Or unenrolling. Whatever the opposite of enroll is.

See we had joined gymnastics because AB mentioned that we always do sports and stuff for Leif, but not Skadi. I suggested gymnastics. Certain, that like me, she would love tumbling.

The first lesson went by and the teacher commented that she seemed a bit bored.

Second lesson went by and she liked it ok.

Third lesson ended in tears with questions like "why can't I just do swimming mommy?"

Well because swimming is opposite soccer, and Leif is doing soccer. Yes, sure, we could divide and conquer, but I was getting a bit weary of swimming. See she has been in swimming forever. Seriously forever. Like nearly her entire life.

And the teachers have a horrible time with where to place her and we finally decided to leave her in the younger class so that she was in with kids her own age. Occasionally we would get a class where her classmates were all about her same age and level and had been doing swimming for ages also. Those were good sessions.

Then we would get ones where the kids hadn't ever been in the pool. Those were the bad sessions.

We decided to take a break for a few months and resume when she was closer to being able to move up to the next level by age.

So here we are. Gymnastics.

And here we were this evening, convincing her to get her leotard on and go to gymnastics. She is whining about swimming, or maybe she could do ballet? Or maybe, she even suggested, she could try baseball! Yes, my daughter is asking to try baseball instead of going to gymnastics. I did give her the opportunity to stay home with Aunt Tara instead and then she did decide that maybe she would try it again.

Why push her? Why continue?

Because she has this older brother of hers. See the deal is this... he could either sit with me through the gymnastics lesson, or be in one himself. Yeah, sit and whine through the session. Forget that. He was getting enrolled. So I found lessons at the same time and we were good!

Except that for every bit that Skadi despises gymnastics, Leif loves it.

And as I watched both kids I realized what a great class it was for Leif. He isn't terribly coordinated, and his upper body strength needs work. And here they were working this stuff. In an organized, small group fashion. And he loves it. And he isn't terribly bad at some of the stuff.

Still. This was for Skadi. I decided to give them 4 more weeks and submit my disenroll this week so that in November we were done with that experiment.

Then AB came with me tonight. He wanted to see.

And well maybe, he suggested that this is really good for Leif. And he has no problem doing dinners on Tuesday nights. And I can get some downtime sitting and watching the kids. And Skadi isn't doing that bad, though she gets bored.

So I didn't disenroll.

Nope, the poor second child is being forced to continue with gymnastics for her brother.

But I have promised and committed many times over to put her back in swimming as soon as possible.

On kids and sports

I remember pontificating one time, okay, maybe more times than once, that I thought kids were overscheduled and that *my* kids would only participate in one activity at a time outside of school (Spanish lessons, music lessons and Tumblebus aside since those are extracurricular through school, during their time). If there was more than one activity they wanted to do, then they had to make a decision.

This week my son has two tennis lessons, one soccer practice and swimming lessons.

In my own defense, tennis is ending this week and soccer is just starting. So there is really only one week where this craziness of three sports has taken hold.

Swimming lessons are every Saturday morning. Leif could kind of care less about swimming, but his sister is a fish. It would be easy to let swimming fall off Leif’s schedule, but both AB and I feel that swimming is an ultra-important skill that our children must possess. Our family cabin is on Puget Sound, about 100 feet from the water. There are boats and watercraft of all sorts during the summer. Not to mention that AB grew up swimming and it was his sport of choice. Oh and did I mention that we are hoping for a trip to Hawaii this coming year and want the kids to be able to swim... like in the ocean.

Then you toss in there the sibling factor… Skadi lives every day of her life looking forward to Saturday swimming lessons – this IS her one activity. She knows all the swim teachers and they know her... well. Since she was in parent-tot she was a little swimming star. The teachers love teaching Skadi because she does anything they ask. (This is the one time every week that Skadi does as she is told.) Check out the picture from the one session where her teacher decided to pass her up - way up. She did quite well, but it looked pretty funny in the picture her standing there with a 6, 7 and 9 year old and she was 2.5 and in a swim diaper.

We opted to put her back with kids her own age and the teachers promised not to let her stagnate - so far they haven't!


We did the divide and conquer thing one session where I took Skadi to swimming and Leif stayed home with daddy. And it isn’t that it didn’t work… it just wasn’t ideal. We like being together as a family, even if it is just for an hour of swimming lessons with mom and dad on the sides watching the kids perform.

This was really that turning point when we realized that one activity a week wasn't going to work for long.

Tennis. When I was five years old my mom put me in tennis lessons and I wore the cutest little white skort and went to Mike Cedar Park for my lessons. One of the older boys in my lesson made a snide comment to me – he made fun of me for having Kool-Aid in my water bottle. I responded in the manner that most girls that age would – I stuck my tongue out of him. My mom saw too. I thought I was going to be in so much trouble, but she thought it was hilarious. I played racquet sports off and off through my life. Mostly racquetball, like my mom and stepdad, but I also dabbled with tennis. Leif became strangely intrigued with tennis after playing it on the Wii. A few months ago he started asking for tennis lessons and I scrambled looking for options.

See as a working mom, you are terribly limited in summer sports activities. No one wants to teach summer sports on the weekends! I finally bit the bullet and signed Leif up for four lessons over a span of two weeks as an introduction to tennis.

I sort of expected he would take the class, realize he wasn’t Andre Agassi (not that he knows who Andre is), and move onto something else. Instead Leif has declared that he “loves” tennis and it is “even better than baseball”. And not terribly surprising since the kid loves sports, he isn’t half bad at it. He was sporting his wicked backhand today. Yes, he knows what a backhand is now.

This is where mommy guilt stings. Because I can’t justify to continue taking off at 9:30am Monday and Wednesdays to go grab Leif from school (where he misses ultra-important calendar work) to drive across town for a half hour lesson, then drive back, deposit him back at school and run back to work and get there by 11am in order to further his tennis interest. Can I? I keep telling myself he is only 5 and 11/12th. There are going to be plenty of summers when I am clamoring for camps and such to enroll the kids in. He will probably get his fill of tennis then.

Soccer. Oh soccer, the most beloved of Leif sports. We do soccer through the YMCA in the summers as well as indoor soccer in the winter. And this year, given Leif’s enthusiasm over soccer, we have registered him for the competitive league that starts this fall. I think this officially makes me a soccer mom putting Leif in this league. Leif is all about soccer and during every recess at school he can be found on the soccer field. Daily he begs me to allow him to wear his cleats to school. Today he wanted to "just bring them in case" his teachers decide he can wear cleats on the playground. The boys cheer when he arrives in the morning and direct him to which team “needs help”. Leif very willingly complies because like his father, he likes to help the underdog. Not doing soccer? Not really an option unless I want one unhappy little boy.

I know people who slam sports, who think it ridiculous that we spend time running our kids around for sports practices and events. To each their own. Both AB and I were raised in families that prided physical activity. AB and his brothers were diehard swimmers. I was lucky, my mom worked at the YMCA and so I was able to take every single class I wanted to (hello disco dancing!) and my mom was lucky that she didn't have to pay for childcare.

I played volleyball and basketball from 5th grade through 9th grade, competed in track and field and competed in gymnastics through 10th grade, until I got an afterschool job instead. I ski both downhill and cross country, played tennis and racquetball (2nd in State Juniors in Wyoming), softball (which I absolutely despised though), swam and most recently ran (which I really need to get back to).

My parents taught me I could do anything and enabled me to pursue my interests. I wasn’t great at every sport, but I enjoyed them (except for softball) and learned the value of physical activity.

So when I run home from work on Monday and race to fix a quick dinner to eat on the run to soccer practice that starts at 6:15pm… yeah, it’s not ideal. But it’s the best we can do right now as working parents who are striving to enable their kids’ dreams. Not every child dreams about sports.

Mine does.

You are swimming with the kids where?

ALL the way to the dock? Are you sure? (It was a HOT day - swimming was a great day - darn I forgot my suit.)

Winny having the time of her life. She wants to move to the cabin. She doesn't know why we ever leave there. Freya otoh... we thought she would love it. Then she spent the last two days quivering inside her kennel. Go figure.

On their way back in.

They made it!

Silver Mountain

Skadi riding the gondola. She loved the "airplane" and asked to go on it repeatedly.

AB and Leif skiing.

Skadi "helping" Leif ski.

AB is still smiling.

Wow... off the "moving carpet" all by himself! (Oh and btw... love the moving carpet!)

Hugs from Exi, consoling Skadi after discovering there are no bunnies on the "bunny slope".

Hangin' out by the black diamond runs.

Skadi lives up to her namesake - "Norse goddess of skiing and snow sports." She kept exclaiming, "Skadi ski now".

The water park was fun too.

The creature from the deep... (Leif likes to put on his snorkel and mask and float the lazy river - and he is freakishly good at it.)

Yes, my camera IS waterproof.

Leif and J

Skadi floating the lazy river. She ditched the tube shortly after and decided it was best to just float in the life jacket - and yell at mommy everytime I touched her. "SELF!" (Meaning, "I do it myself." This is all I hear out of her lately.)

"This is so much fun!"

"This is so neat!"

Going down the baby slide together.

Skadi and Exi at the water park.

An update of sorts

We have been a house of sickos since Sunday. Skadi spent Sunday afternoon throwing up, then it hit AB on Tuesday and finally landed on Leif and I last night late. He and I hung around the house today and recovered. I am hoping now that we are all on the mend and able to escape with healthy bodies this weekend. We have been talking about putting Leif on skis for a year now and if we don't take advantage of the snow now, it won't happen this year. We are meeting some friends with children of the same ages at Silver Mountain for a weekend of ski and water park. The plan is to put the boys in ski school Saturday morning and do a variety of things with the girls, go out and play in the snow and play at the water park and parents will rotate kid duty with skiing.

We are poor right now... or at least we don't want to spend money, so aside from the condo and the ski school for the boys, we are going budget style and cooking meals at the condos instead. I have a big list of stuff to get at the grocery store tomorrow. AB and I really need a mental break from both work (since we have both been high stress with work lately) as well as dealing with home stuff.

First things first though - thanks for all the thoughts and prayers for my mom. The tumor on her liver was cancerous, however was surgically removed in its entirety with clean margins. The cancer was the primary cancer and no other sources could be found. She will spend the next 5-6 weeks recovering and will be closely monitored from now till eternity for more tumors. We are praying that it was a single episode and not another will ever be found.

Speaking of praying, apparently we have been saying a lot of prayers for grandma. Skadi has taken to walking around and saying, "Grandma A-MEN!"

I am sure I speak for the collective that you don't realize how lucky and blessed you are to have people in your life until you are faced with the fact that we are all mortals. Really makes you step back and put things into perspective.

The last thing we are stressing right now about is our new house that we are to close on in a few short weeks. We have been working hard to pack our house up and get ready to move.

Of course wouldn't you know that SOMETHING had to pop up. When we first met with our agents they told us that "something different always pops up that you have to work through on a house, it never fails". Or something like that. My house was going to be the first for them that went smoothly.

Was.

Nearly two weeks ago I phoned our insurance company to get a quote on insurance. They phoned me later and asked that dreaded question, "did you know there was a claim filed on the house last July for water loss?"

I replied that I didn't know this.

And not a minor claim either, $21.8K.

This isn't just a pipe breaking, this is either major excavation for a ruptured main or complete removation of walls inside.

And not on the disclosures either.

The relo company we are purchasing from denies knowing anything and has said they would attempt to find the former owners.

Supposidly they have attempted, though we are skeptical since they keep responding that they can't find them when in the stack of documents we got from them has their names (which I Googled and found their current locale) as well as his business e-mail. Once I had our agent's blessing I popped an e-mail out there to him asking what the situation was.

We really want the house. AB who was once on the fence with the house is now in love with it, I have always thought it was the right house for us. So we want the house, we just want to know what happened and what we need to watch out for, who made the repairs and any warranty information.

So far, no news. This is not one of those cases where no news is good news. No news for us right now is a big red flag. What is being hidden?

We are stressed about what we are supposed to do now? Proceed with caution? Or jump ship?

Stay tuned.

Swimming, not just for summer anymore!

News flash to clothing stores!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I couldn't find Skadi a bathing suit the past two weeks given Leslie's difficulties back on August 1. I truly just do not get it. I mean, August 1 was still the height of summer here. I realize it is early November, but is this attitude the reason there is no full scale, open year round, public pool facility here?

I went to the mall after swimming on Saturday and ran to each of the kid's clothing stores in search of a 12-18 month swim suit for Skadi. No, she doesn't *need* a swimming suit, *I* am the one that needs her to have a swimming suit. She grew out of her cute little green bikini... the top at least, I am still putting her in the bottom and she is enjoying the water a la Brazilian style with no top.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when Gymboree, unlike the other stores who gave a polite apology, "nope, I am sorry, no swim suits", gave me a full on laugh with an "oh God no, it's cold outside!" response.

I haven't been impressed with the store even though I am a Gymboree fan. They carry only select items routinely, things are hard to sort through and they say and ask stupid things. Example, I am carrying my new baby girl at about 2-3 weeks old. The sales woman (who is the manager) oogles at her and asks HER name etc. Then asks me why I am returning a little blue boy's sweater. My response was, "well like you said, she is a girl".

I was annoyed. I responded, "it may be cold outside, but there are swimming lessons, swimming pools in health clubs and people do vacation in warm places with their kids". She suggested I try online. Yes, I know the online store far too well.

And you know, I think I will keep my Gymboree purchases to online only and will start entering the store only to return my online purchases that don't work.

Marketing 101

I was struck with one of my pet peeves twice this past week. That pet peeve being... don't try to sell me on something I am already sold on. Or put simply, quit wasting my time.

I signed Skadi up for a swimming class called Tub Time for last Saturday. One hour and $25 later left me irritable, though ending in the hot tub did mellow that irritability. The first half hour was "classroom" time and the second half hour... well actually, the last 20 minutes by the time we got to the hot tub, was in the water. I signed up, I paid, I showed up with my 10 week old in her ultra-cute, yet practical for the summer swim suit. (Check her out... yes, my carpets suck.)





You see not many people with babies sign up for swimming classes, let alone that early. That should serve as some indication of who your target audience is when designing the classroom portion, shouldn't it? Lesson one, know your audience.

My husband and I both started swimming at very young, both about age 4. My parents put me in because we were always around the lakes and they felt it was important I learn to swim. AB's put him in to help with his scoliosis. AB eventually became a competitive swimmer, a swim instructor and a lifeguard. When I was 10, I ran out of classes to take, joined the team, but since I couldn't compete until I was 12 I abandoned the sport in favor of gymnastics. We are active people with a love and respect for the water. Probably typical people who actually sign their child up for this type of class AT a private club.

So don't sit me down and tell me why my kids should take swimming class. Preaching to the choir. (And wasting my time.)

Then there was last night... my son's orientation for his move up to primary (Montessori preschool). My poor head is covered with bruises now from both my grandmother's visit AND a full wasted evening watching the center owner very slowly, with child-like wonder and amazement in her eyes perform each and every work station in the room like we might see our children do.

I was under the false impression that this orientation was to explain to us parents the practical side. What do I need to bring? How often do I bring snack? What is the schedule? The two other families I spoke with post-orientation-from-hell heaved heavy sighs riddled with pain when they broached the topic. I was happy I was not the only one feeling pain at their core for this 1.5 hours. (Ok, I snuck out at 1.25 hours.) Nope, V's pain was physical thanks to 1.75 hours of sitting in sucky chairs. And she is most likely STILL feeling the pain in her back tonight and for days to come.

Kids are amazing. I know. They are resilient. I know. They are emotional and sensitive. This I know all too well. When they have show and tell? This I don't know.

And I still don't know. (And btw... I was sold on Montessori almost 2 years ago when my one year old started washing his own hands, signing and helping with his own diapering.)