What she gets from me

Recently I posted a picture of Skadi on Facebook. I don't even remember which one it was. But a number of my elementary school friends piped up raving about how much she looks like me at that age.

"Really?" was  my surprised response. She looks nothing like me I thought. Strawberry blonde hair is about it.

Still I thought more about this and even pulled out pictures to compare. No way.

Well maybe...

See when I see my daughter her personality shines through so strongly and brightly that her outward appearance falls to the background. When you ask me about my daughter I will answer, "boistrous, adventure loving, physical, she'll take you down when you aren't looking, outspoken, strongly opinionated, will run over the top of you, but will stop if you show signs of pain"... and I could go on and on.

Not my personality. I was always described as "shy, quiet, spoke only when spoken too, embarrassed easily, will cry if you look at her wrong..." You get the idea. A wall flower.

Skadi and I are 100% different... except for that rail thin little body and strawberry blonde hair. And she is lucky - she has these beautiful hazel eyes that get loads of compliments, lips that actually exist and her eyelashes aren't red, they are black.

But one area she did inherit from me is her eclectic music tastes. Her brother desires to only ever listen to one thing - Les Miserable. And sing along. He can recite nearly the entire musical and dreams of playing the role of Gavroche before he grows up. Skadi always one to out do her brother begs not to listen to Les Mis anymore but tells him, "I plan to play Cosette and she has a bigger role."

Anyways. Skadi, she has my musical tastes.

I admit it, the other day she told me one of her favorite songs was the one I play about "doing crafts".

Give up?

Yeah, not one of my finer parenting moments...

Also among her favorites are "I Want Candy" and "Follow Me".

When I was a kid my favorite song was "Cat Scratch Fever"...

The other day Skadi asked me to play "the bell song".

"The bell song?" I asked her.

"Yep, the one about the girl," Skadi replied.

"OH! The Belle song!" I said. No problem. I can do this. We recently went and saw Beauty and the Beast the musical, I will just download the album from iTunes!

So I did.

And then we painstakingly went through every single dang song on that album.

"NO MOM! The BELLE song, you know!" she kept saying. (Though she did latch on again to Gaston...)

I gave up. I surrendered.

Then one day when I was driving her into school I turned up a song that popped up on my existing playlist.

"YAY MOMMY! The BELLE song!" she exclaimed.

Yay me!

What's on your playlist?

I'll post mine... if you post yours!

I am tiring just a bit of my current play list. I tend to update it whenever I am on vacation. Last good update was July 4th. One of my goals for the year is that whenever I sit down at the computer that I tack a stack of cd's with me and upload them. It actually doesn't take long and iTunes organizes it for me. Slick. As long as I remember where that stack of cds is...

My kids have their current favorites. Leif is full on into Les Miserables and while part of me wants to brag a bit about this I have to admit that he is nearly driving us all up the wall with it. We like Les Mis. We probably love Les Mis. But not like Leif. The last time we came back from the cabin he was a bit nauseated in the car playing his DS, so we agreed to put on Les Mis. Oh my goodness. We finally put a stop to it most of the way through the second complete play. And he was disappointed.

Whenever we get in the car that is his first request, "can we listen to Les Mis?" And my answer is becoming more often "no". I gave him my old iPod loaded with only the Les Mis soundtrack. He has his headphones, he can (and does) listen to it whenever he wants.

But oh, there was that other day a week or so ago when "Pepper" came on. (Butthole Surfers) And Leif said, "I LOVE this song Dad! Mom plays it all the time!" Ok, I don't play it ALL the time, but it is on my current playlist. He was overly humored when AB said to me, "you let Leif listen to the Butthole Surfers?" Yeah, the Butthole Surfers is a new favorite saying... joy.

Skadi on the other hand has embraced rock, both classic and contemporary. Her current favorites are "Say Hey" by Michael Frant, who she just calls simply, "Michael". Sigh, my daughter is on a first name basis with a rock star. Her second favorite is ABBA's "Dancing Queen" and the new favorite is simply identified by his name... "Uncle Kracker". Is it bad that my daughter loves, "Follow Me"? Am I corrupting her little brain to think that affairs are ok and that marriages are unhappy??

My favorites? I have always always been a big Richard Thompson fan and he will forever be my favorite. But Mike Doughty is moving up near Richard. (Yes, *I* am on a first name basis with Richard... or at least in my dreams...) I will always be a Dylan fan. And the Rolling Stones - yes when MTV first came on the air I do remember my mom's look of horror when I declared Mick Jagger "cute".

So here's my list...

Breathe Me, Sia


Bittersweet, Big Head Todd & The Monsters

Pepper, Butthole Surfers

Tangled Up In Blue, Bob Dylan

Radar Love, Golden Earring

In a Big Country (Radio), Big Country

Anchorage, Michelle Shocked

Friday I'm In Love, The Cure

Tiny Dancer, Ben Folds

Buckets Of Rain, Bob Dylan

Walking In Memphis, Marc Cohn

Sweet Child o' Mine (Rick Rubin New Mix), Sheryl Crow

Grey Ghost, Mike Doughty

Lay, Lady, Lay, Bob Dylan

Grease, Frankie Valli

Say Hey (I Love You) [feat. Cherine Anderson], Michael Franti & Spearhead

Steal My Kisses, Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals

Heavy Things, Phish

Maggie May, Rod Stewart

Bubble Toes, Jack Johnson

The Gambler, Mike Doughty

Pride and Joy, Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble

Come on Eileen, Dexy's Midnight Runners

Peaches, The Presidents of the United States of America

Dream Cafe, Greg Brown

Punk Rock Girl, The Dead Milkmen

I Melt With You, Modern English

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades, Timbuk 3

You Can't Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

Landslide, Dixie Chicks

1952 Vincent Black Lightning, Richard Thompson

Walkin' On the Sun, Smash Mouth

Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees

I'll Fly Away, Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch

Electric Avenue, Eddy Grant

Follow Me, Uncle Kracker

The Cape, Eric Bibb

Cannonball, The Breeders

Tainted Love (7" Single), Soft Cell

Lips Like Sugar, Echo And The Bunnymen

Whip It, Devo

Pretty In Pink, The Psychedelic Furs

Persuasion, Richard Thompson

Hey, Soul Sister, Train

Let's Go To Bed, The Cure

Under My Thumb, The Rolling Stones

Save Tonight, Eagle-Eye Cherry

Centerfold, The J. Geils Band

These are a few of my favorite songs...

My music tastes tend to change with the wind. I can tell you what my favorite songs are now, but who knows if they will be my favorites in another week.

Same with books.

Lately I have found myself gravitating to the "oldies". Going back to the music I listened to growing up. I think this probably has a lot to do with my mom passing, but the songs that are hot on my iPod, weren't necessarily her favorites.

When I think of my mom's favorite music, I think of things like Mamma Mia and other contemporary musicals. These were her favorites most recently.

My music tastes as a kid reflected my parents. That's one of the advantages to having young parents... I KNEW who Ted Nugent was back when he actually sang instead of pontificated. (I suppose if at 3 years old you think that knowing the words to "Cat Scratch Fever" was an advantage...)

As I got older and lived further away from my parents, our tastes diverged, though my mom and I often compared notes. When I discovered Greg Brown recently, she was the only one on FB who jumped up and said, "he is one of my favorites right now".

My parents fell on the Stones side of the fence - not the Beatles side.

Me? Well this is one of my top played on my iPod right now.




Leif's first song he declared as a favorite was "Yellow Submarine". This was when I fully understood that 50% of his genes do come from his father.

When I was in high school I picked up "Tangled up in Blue" for my mom. Her copy was worn out.

I couldn't find a good video that wasn't a cover, but one of my favorite lines ever:

"I like the smile in your fingertips, I like the way that you move your hips, I like the cool way - you look at me. Everything about you is bringing me misery."

Another top song right now on my iPod.

One of my favorites now is an old song that I despised as a child... after all it was country and by Kenny Rogers of all people (everyone say "ewww" like an 8 year old little girl). Then I found this cover and the world changed.





Something about this one though just screams "like".

Next on my list of most played?

"Domenik the Donkey" (thank you Skadi) and "Who Let the Ghosts Out" (thank you Leif). We just won't go there. And yes, there is a reason that the play number of these two horrible songs is exactly equal.

My mom went through a Johnny Cash phase too. I don't know that "Long Black Veil" hit her favs, but it is getting loads of play in my car.

I haven't been able to touch some of my mom's favorites with a ten foot pole yet - "Me and Bobby McGee" for example. I suppose it is easier for me to skirt around the edges right now.

When I was at my mom's shortly after her passing going through the computer I went through her playlist. The song that blew me away on there was this one:



I went through a big Terence Trent D'Arby phase when I was what... about 14? I played this all.the.time.

I guess at 14 (or whatever I was) I was too absorbed in myself to note that my mom had fallen for this song too.

The funny things that we discover after the fact.

Oh and this one? I can listen to. Because my childhood memories don't include my mom singing along to this one.

My love of music

AB commented the other day that he had never been to a big rock concert. I immediately jumped on the fact that in fact he had. When we were dating, he went to Seattle to visit his best friend. We were in college and he went for a break. I was jealous. I had never been to Seattle. While there they saw The Beastie Boys in concert. (And he bought me a bottle of wine, but it didn't make its way back to Colorado... likely story, huh?)

This got me to thinking about music.

My first concert was Rick Springfield at the Casper Events Center, followed by (in no particular order) Bon Jovi, Motley Crue and I think we saw Poison too.

When I was in 7th grade I managed to secure tickets at Mile High Stadium in Denver to go see Michael Jackson. He looked about a half centimeter tall from our nosebleed seats. But yes, I saw Michael Jackson in concert.

Once I hit high school my concert list improved.

I scrounged $4 to pay for a ticket to The Red Hot Chili Peppers. My high school years were full of local punk rock shows. Among the best was seeing All - formerly the Descendents.

College improved my concert list substantially more.

Enter Paul Simon, The Grateful Dead (twice), many festivals that included the likes of Mark Cohn, John Hiatt, Michelle Shocked, Nancy Griffith, The Wailers, Hot Tuna, Tuck and Patti, Social Distortion and Little Feat to name a few.

Then my world changed...



I have seen Richard Thompson at least seven times that I can recall and it may have been more. I saw him at the Chataqua Auditorium in Boulder, Colorado for at least five years running (judging from who I went to the concerts with - Scott, Scott, Scott and Michael, Ande, and finally AB). Then twice in Reno. The second time in Reno and last time I saw Richard in concert was a few weeks after September 11th happened and he gave a very heartfelt speech about how special it was for him (a Muslim) to be playing music in front of the American crowd, decrying the acts of terror that had occurred. I remember tears all around.



Favorite artist. And I feel quite confident that this will never change.



The year we got married I stressed and stressed about what RT song I would have played at our wedding. His songs are beautiful... but not the thing that wedding songs are made of. Most are tragedies. I finally gave up and admitted defeat when I couldn't hone in on a song that represented what I wanted. RT didn't make an appearance at my wedding.

AB isn't the Richard Thompson fan that I am, though he has come a long way. He has always liked Thompson, but a favorite? No dice.

Until this song came along.



This would have made it into the wedding.

There are a few more concerts I would like to see someday... would love to see Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson and well... I am quite positive I will frequent RT's concerts many times more.

New resolution as of today... my children will listen to more music. Their horizons WILL reach beyond The Chicken Dance (which I did NOT allow at my wedding - but damn it is cute seeing my kids do it), The Monster Mash and The Yellow Submarine.

Recent blips from the kids

One evening a few weeks back AB and I were supposed to go out and have an adults night out. Then Skadi started puking.

On their way to the get-together our friends K&V - also attending the get-together dropped off dessert for us. Creme brulee. Yumm.

Leif was so excited and gobbled it up.

The next night he asked, "what is Aunty V going to bring us for dessert tonight?"

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Leif has figured out what allergies are. One of the boys in his classes is allergic to many foods. So lately when he doesn't want to do something he plays the allergy card.

"No mommy, I am allergic to turning off the TV."

"No mommy, I am allergic to meat."

"No mommy, I am allergic to coming inside."

So he doesn't have the full grasp of what being allergic really is. It just seems to be a surefire way to be exempt from whatever he is being asked to do.

Not that it works.

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The first thing Skadi likes to do in the mornings once I release her from the confines of the Master Suite after having gotten ready for the day is to wander into Leif's room and wake him up. This isn't always what I want since sometimes (like this morning) she is up at 6am. And Leif will sleep till 7:30am.

However, being woken up by Skadi seems to be acceptable and usually nixes the whining. So I don't worry too much about it.

It just warms my heart to see her reach up and pat him giggling. Then once awake and she has been allowed onto the bed, go over and lay her head on him and wrap her arms around him.

Of course Leif thinks it is awfully special too.

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Leif likes to declare things his "favorites" lately. If he likes something it is immediately "his favorite".

We have finally moved beyond his favorite song being Upside Down by Jack Johnson. I like it, but wow he can listen to a song ad nauseum.

Recently he declared his favorite song to be Ben Harper's "Steal My Kisses" and he would sing along in the car. Then much to my surprise the other day he declared Ray Charles' "You Are My Sunshine" his favorite.

But his true favorite? His real favorite song?

The one he sings all.the.time lately.

Part 4

I am feeling pangs of "homesickness" this morning as I watch the CU versus Nebraska game at "home" in Boulder. Seeing the snow fall and the students cheering has taken me back. I hesitate to call it "homesickness", because this is my home and I have lived outside of Colorado as an adult longer than I lived in Colorado. But there is something about seeing your old stomping ground, and the current generation of students living this time in their lives.

AB feels it too. He asked me a few minutes ago if we moved back to Colorado, would we live in Boulder or somewhere on the outskirts? I said I didn't know, probably the outskirts, we probably couldn't afford to live in Boulder, plus we have been there done that. He paused a little and said he thought he could do Boulder again. This shocked me coming from my conservative husband. "Boulder has a lot to offer," he said.

I look at my family. AB cheering "Touchdown CU!" (every few minutes because evidently both defenses suck rocks). Seeing Leif play with my Christmas village (that we set up this morning - he is putting all the animals and people to sleep and waking them up "get your blankey off" - oh wait that one is going to sleep some more...), and seeing Skadi in AB's arms. Things are so different now, but so much better in many ways. Still my time at CU, meeting my husband, was a great time of my life.

So back to my story...

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So we had left the Dark Horse and walked back to his dorm room to get my stuff and he kissed me.

I liked him, he kissed me, we were on our way! Or so I thought.

He told me later that he didn't want a relationship, was not ready for one and was just plain too busy for a relationship. Plus, it was just a really bad idea as lab partners to date each other.

Darn it, he had his head on straight and knew what he wanted. This was somewhat unusual to me with a guy I liked. I was disappointed, but vowed we could be just friends. I knew in my heart I could change him. He had kissed me after all. I knew there was something there.

Halloween and the big football game was coming up. Nebraska versus CU... at home. It was huge. Still is huge. This was before the game was moved to the day after Thanksgiving. It used to be Halloween weekend... in Boulder... combine that with the then recent backlash from killing the Mall Crawl and you had a weekend of craziness in Boulder.

AB not only made sure I was attending, but knowing the parking situation, walked down to meet me and walk back up to the game. It was a great game and afterwards we went to the bar where AB and I did some walloping up ourselves in the form of foosball.

We were a great team and obviously destined to be together (again I thought).

That night he kissed me again.

Had I won him over this time? Oh and I can't even remember if the Buffs stomped the Cornhuskers or not. See where my mind was?

A couple days later after working on lab reports he asked me if I was interested in going to see Miss Saigon with him? A date! A real date! Not a football game! I said I would love to. Then wondered a little about this guy who was proposing to take me to a musical. Guy... musical... guy... musical... oh no, I thought. Was I setting myself up for hurt? Was this guy really... umm... gay?

My mom was excited I would get to see Miss Saigon, I was excited to be with this Alaska Boy on a real date.

I worried about what to wear. I was upset with myself that the nicest coat I had (since wearing my ski coat to a musical wasn't going to work) was a green fleece thing. (I laugh now at how I neurosed about this knowing that my husband is so not clothing concerned.) I thought back to the "other" ChemE major from Alaska and his regular comments to me on what I should select to wear to certain events.

The date wasn't exactly what I was expecting being that my husband was taking his residents in the dorm hall to the musical. So there were plenty of fellow students around and we rode a bus to the theater. But still, I was thrilled. It was our first real date in mid-November 1993.

Miss Siagon was great. I am dying to see it again still. I was so surprised that this Alaska Boy enjoyed the musical so much as well.

He told me afterwards that he decided that we could now date as the semester's close was near and we would no longer be lab partners.

I had a boyfriend! I had a boyfriend that didn't mind going to musicals (in fact he liked them), he was kind and considerate and knew what he wanted. What could go wrong now?

Nothing, I thought. I didn't have visions of us marrying each other. I was living in the moment. Who knew what would happen when we graduated? I didn't have any idea what *I* wanted to do when I graduated, how could I even think about this relationship?

I had a boyfriend.

Leif's Playlist

After the trek home tonight where Leif whined for "the Curious George song" (Jack Johnson's Upside Down) nearly half the way I decided we need an acceptable cd for the car. He is none too enthused about my XM Radio selections. And the child, for some reason, despises KT Tunstall (one of the child acceptable cds in my car).

So tonight after dinner we sat down for our occasional YouTube session. Upside Down was the first request:




I can't argue with Leif there. He likes the monkey... and well, I just like Jack. Yummy. (Want more of Jack, put your cursor at the bottom of the video... the video for Taylor cracked me up. LOVE Ben Stiller.)

We hit "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" again. Then hit our new favorite Sesame Street. Maybe AB has a point with liking Bert... I find him quite humorous in this clip. "Ernie! Those sheep are tap dancing!"



We got Leif to bed and I finally had time to sit down and burn a cd for us to listen to in the car, that is a set of songs that I am assured that Leif and I will both like... right?

Steal My Kisses - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Swinging On A Star - Bing Crosby
Superman's Song - Crash Test Dummies
Upside Down - Jack Johnson
People Watching - Jack Johnson
We're Going to Be Friends - Jack Johnson (Love this one.)
3 Rs - Jack Johnson
Talk of the Town - Jack Johnson & Kawika Kahiapo
Sweet Baby James - James Taylor
The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats (AB balked at the inclusion of this, but Leif likes it!)
Heavy Things - Phish
Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - Simon & Garfunkel
Walkin' On the Sun - Smash Mouth
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
Particle Man - They Might Be Giants (My other nickname for AB...)

Man, I should have been a deejay. I think I missed my calling. My favorite song ever? Richard Thompson's 1952 Vincent Black Lightning, followed a close second by Persuassion and Beeswing.

What's my age again

My high school friends weren't *that* screwed up were they? Nevermind, don't answer that.

On the drive in to work the other morning Julie Brown's song, "The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun" came on.

How old am I now that my reflexes are lightning speed as they hit the XM box switching it to anything. Anything other than that song. I was counting myself lucky that number one, I was paying attention and not zoning and number two, that I actually knew the song from the first line. Leif lately is amazingly quick and opinionated on music in the car... no more fooling around with what is playing while he is riding with me.

It landed on Wonderwall and I was fine with that. Leif won't get those innuendos for at least another 15 years. It took someone telling me and I was in my mid-20's. And I would far far rather my son hear a song about praising the condom then a school shooting.

How old am I now that I sat there saying to myself, "that is the most inappropriate song to play on the radio... ever."

It's a song that we used to laugh about and sing along to in high school. Wow have 20 years changed me. (Or here's hoping it isn't just me that changed... here's hoping others cringe in hearing that song we once joked about.)