Or lack there of.
So I am probably just being a paranoid new parent. But in my American Academy of Pediatrics book it says that when an infant has had a cough for 5-7 days, and it doesn't go away, take them to the doctor. Now a paranoid mother would have ignored that advice and taken the baby immediately. That makes me officially NOT paranoid.
I called the doctor at 8:30am. First off my complaint there. I could.not.get.through. I finally left a message on the appointments answering machine. After a number of calls back, apparently my messages got somewhere. The nurse calls me to tell me that they are too busy to see Leif both today AND tomorrow. If he has a cough to take him to the emergency room, and she follows that up with "you do have insurance don't you?"!
The emergency room, you have got to be kidding me! Ok, April going off here... that sounds like total abuse of the insurance system and a waste of the ER staff time. Leif had signs of asthma when he was a few months younger and we bought him a nebulizer and have albuterol for him. We have been giving treatments as a preventative measure with the strict instruction that we call the doc when we do this so she can listen to him. But no... we are to take him to the ER for a cough? We WILL take him to the ER if he shows signs of difficulty breathing, but seriously now.
Oh and I should add that according to the doctor an Urgent Care facility would not be appropriate because they wouldn't do a blood gas to check his O2 saturation. Really? I am just beside myself. At least an Urgent Care facility would listen to his chest!
I know it is a busy flu time, but I think it is appropriate for his doctor to listen to his chest since she was the one that diagnosed him with asthma. But they apparently didn't have this written in his chart or something, because the nurse was unaware of his asthma background.
I decided to do the Urgent Care thing and just called them. Yay, they are open till 8pm. But wait, they have a 2 hour wait right now! What?! So Leif could go sit in the waiting room where he would likely pick up more and nastier bugs. Or we can just go home and have an evening at home. I will choose the later. Ok, hereby classify me as a horrible parent.
I just can't believe the quality of doctors here. It really is good that we are on top of our medical care and knowledgeable, intelligent people. Because if you aren't, forget about it. Is it really too much to expect that the phone get answered and at least talk to a receptionist? To know that your call is being addressed by someone - it might take an hour or two, but someone WILL call you back? Is it too much to ask that when said person calls you back that the doctor might have actually read the history instead of just prescribing the standard "get off my back will ya" response?
The medical field sucks. When *I* worked in medicine we actually cared and tried. And man, if the doctor I worked with ever found out patients weren't getting to talk to a real person, there was hell to pay.
I am hereby jumping from the medical professions bandwagon that states that healthcare is best privatized, and that doctors are not overpaid over to the consumer bandwagon that says "hello have you ever tried to see a doctor and to speak to one for longer than 5 minutes?" I hereby am calling for REFORM!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
No funding, yet again.
So another cycle of exploratory proposals has come and is going. I submitted two, very excellent proposals. Last year I was told it was a 50-50 shot if I got funded, but next year I will for sure. Well here it is, next year, and welp, no funding of my own.
Ok, I should qualify that this is simply based off my chatting with R.C., who doles out the cash-ola today previous to another meeting.
In one instant my "collections platform" proposal received acolades. It really is unique and a good idea, but it is just one in a stack of 5 collections proposals. So his solution is to consider getting them all together along with the currently funded sorbents project and revamp them under one heading for a large chunk of money elsewhere. What? You mean there is other money elsewhere?? I doubt it, I think "elsewhere" is a place that exists where they don't want to tell you it is a bad idea, cause it's not, but it's that place where no one ever wants to go to retrieve ideas. Who actually puts money in "elsewhere"?
The other proposal, everyone says it was a shoe in. The biggest problem was that I asked for 1/3 of their complete budgets. Yeah, I could have asked for less, but by my calculations I can't even BUY the equipment for less than $50K, and then I still have to pay people to work on the project. So R.C. told me that it is a long shot because I asked for $100K and unfortunately he thinks I was correct to ask for that much money, he doesn't think it could be done for less. He did throw me one bone though... get off my lazy duff and submit it as a concept paper for a life cycle plan (my words- he phrased it much nicer). Hell it probably shouldn't even be labelled "exploratory", it can be done, it is just a matter of logistics, putting it together, modeling it and making it work. So... with any luck the big talked about "plus up" for the program this year could result in my first funded proposal for FY06. Imagine that... to skip the entire exploratory phase all together... just dreaming here... don't mind me.
Leif is doing awesome. He is such a happy baby. I don't know what we did to deserve him and I only hope that I can prove myself as being deserving enough to parent him. He is truly amazing. He is saying (imitating) mama and dada and today I swear he waved at me. I always wave at him when I leave after visiting daycare. And today he raised his hand and opened and closed his fingers. His teachers got excited and everyone tried to get him to wave after that. He is such an attention hound. I am sure he just played coy after that!
Ok, I should qualify that this is simply based off my chatting with R.C., who doles out the cash-ola today previous to another meeting.
In one instant my "collections platform" proposal received acolades. It really is unique and a good idea, but it is just one in a stack of 5 collections proposals. So his solution is to consider getting them all together along with the currently funded sorbents project and revamp them under one heading for a large chunk of money elsewhere. What? You mean there is other money elsewhere?? I doubt it, I think "elsewhere" is a place that exists where they don't want to tell you it is a bad idea, cause it's not, but it's that place where no one ever wants to go to retrieve ideas. Who actually puts money in "elsewhere"?
The other proposal, everyone says it was a shoe in. The biggest problem was that I asked for 1/3 of their complete budgets. Yeah, I could have asked for less, but by my calculations I can't even BUY the equipment for less than $50K, and then I still have to pay people to work on the project. So R.C. told me that it is a long shot because I asked for $100K and unfortunately he thinks I was correct to ask for that much money, he doesn't think it could be done for less. He did throw me one bone though... get off my lazy duff and submit it as a concept paper for a life cycle plan (my words- he phrased it much nicer). Hell it probably shouldn't even be labelled "exploratory", it can be done, it is just a matter of logistics, putting it together, modeling it and making it work. So... with any luck the big talked about "plus up" for the program this year could result in my first funded proposal for FY06. Imagine that... to skip the entire exploratory phase all together... just dreaming here... don't mind me.
Leif is doing awesome. He is such a happy baby. I don't know what we did to deserve him and I only hope that I can prove myself as being deserving enough to parent him. He is truly amazing. He is saying (imitating) mama and dada and today I swear he waved at me. I always wave at him when I leave after visiting daycare. And today he raised his hand and opened and closed his fingers. His teachers got excited and everyone tried to get him to wave after that. He is such an attention hound. I am sure he just played coy after that!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Valentine's Day
Today is Valentine's Day. I asked for and got this year, an electric fondue maker. I even got to pick it out! Hans is always so good at picking up flowers and chocolate for me, but this year I thought I might ask for something that I want. While I love the ambiance of fondue with flame, I royally dislike the scrubbing of the burnt cheese krinkles out of the bottom and not being able to get the pot hot enough for oil fondue. So now, I can not only control the temperature precisely with my non-stick pot, but I can turn it up really hot to get that satisfying sizzle when you plunk a piece o'meat into the hot oil.
Leif took cookies to his teachers today. Actually he did his best to prevent me from actually getting the cookies in the door today. He has definitely got his daddy's monkey arms! How he could still reach the plate of cookies while I held him on my hip and walked with my arm extended carrying the cookies I don't know. I really can't believe we actually made it in the door.
A friend I work with came in with another Leif story for me from when he was dropping off his son at daycare. He told me that when he put Nathaniel on the floor in his carseat, Leif just stood there staring at Nathaniel. The staring doesn't get me, more the fact that he told me that Leif "stood there". Actual standing? It can't be? I am so confused. I must ask daycare.
Leif took cookies to his teachers today. Actually he did his best to prevent me from actually getting the cookies in the door today. He has definitely got his daddy's monkey arms! How he could still reach the plate of cookies while I held him on my hip and walked with my arm extended carrying the cookies I don't know. I really can't believe we actually made it in the door.
A friend I work with came in with another Leif story for me from when he was dropping off his son at daycare. He told me that when he put Nathaniel on the floor in his carseat, Leif just stood there staring at Nathaniel. The staring doesn't get me, more the fact that he told me that Leif "stood there". Actual standing? It can't be? I am so confused. I must ask daycare.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Friday again!
Already! I can't believe it. No complaints here.
We are going to have a reclusive weekend. I don't want to visit or correspond with anyone we know, lol! I feel very privileged to have a number of friends in the area. But lately it seems as though we have something planned every single day of every weekend. And many times it is AT our house. We frequently get volunteered for these things. And while I am thrilled that people like to come over, it is sometimes overwhelming.
So tonight we are going out to dinner at the Olive Garden. Ok, I admit, the likelihood of encountering someone we know there is high. But I can deal. Then Leif is going to sleep all night long tonight (ha ha) and we will get bright and early at 6am, fully refreshed from a full nights sleep (I really am funny aren't I?). Tomorrow we are going to enjoy our very clean house thanks to our housecleaner, Wendy. I am completely spoiled and will never be able to survive without a housecleaner for the rest of my life. I am going to fix a nice dinner, but spend most of the day just hanging out with Leif and working on my scrapbooks!! I MUST get some pictures put in scrapbooks.
Oh I need to go to Target and get a few things for Valentine's day. I will do that, but no pressure!
So Valentine's day is on Monday. I was such a slacker this year. I didn't even realize it until too late to send cards. I really should have gotten them out, but I didn't. I asked Hans for an electric fondue pot for V-day. He will probably get some candy from me. We don't have much planned. We have cheese for fondue and king crab. We might celebrate on Sunday night since Hans has class Monday night.
Well so that is the state of things here.
We are going to have a reclusive weekend. I don't want to visit or correspond with anyone we know, lol! I feel very privileged to have a number of friends in the area. But lately it seems as though we have something planned every single day of every weekend. And many times it is AT our house. We frequently get volunteered for these things. And while I am thrilled that people like to come over, it is sometimes overwhelming.
So tonight we are going out to dinner at the Olive Garden. Ok, I admit, the likelihood of encountering someone we know there is high. But I can deal. Then Leif is going to sleep all night long tonight (ha ha) and we will get bright and early at 6am, fully refreshed from a full nights sleep (I really am funny aren't I?). Tomorrow we are going to enjoy our very clean house thanks to our housecleaner, Wendy. I am completely spoiled and will never be able to survive without a housecleaner for the rest of my life. I am going to fix a nice dinner, but spend most of the day just hanging out with Leif and working on my scrapbooks!! I MUST get some pictures put in scrapbooks.
Oh I need to go to Target and get a few things for Valentine's day. I will do that, but no pressure!
So Valentine's day is on Monday. I was such a slacker this year. I didn't even realize it until too late to send cards. I really should have gotten them out, but I didn't. I asked Hans for an electric fondue pot for V-day. He will probably get some candy from me. We don't have much planned. We have cheese for fondue and king crab. We might celebrate on Sunday night since Hans has class Monday night.
Well so that is the state of things here.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Blah blah blah
It is just a blah day. I just feel reclusive and quiet today. It hasn't been a great day.
Leif didn't sleep well, however, he did eat last night. He has recently decided he doesn't like solid food, mommy milk only. BUT, we did entice him with some banana/berries blend Gerber mix. He thought that was yummy stuff last night. However, wouldn't you know it is PURPLE! Nothing stains like berries.
Ok, so he was a little fussy this morning after a long night. I was just a little tired. You know those occasions where you are having a really cool dream, something wakes you up and you can't get back to the dream? It is so frustrating. Well I had the opposite problem last night. I would wake up, comfort Leif, fall asleep and fall back into the same, monotonous, tedious, awful dream. Ok, it wasn't awful, but it was a perfect exemplification of my frustration with work right now.
In it I would walk into the classified conference room and sitting there would be my project manager, one coworker and a former coworker who I cannot stand. The former coworker starts complaining and being his general disagreeable self about my presence, my general feeling about this project, I feel like I am the biggest misfit and am sick of being treated like admin. My project manager makes a big deal about that I am not supposed to be there, but if I want I can stay he guesses. Yep, more signs of my feeling like a project misfit and indications of my feelings of always being left out and as if I am the third wheel. All the while my coworker who I do like, sits there saying nothing. I keep waiting for him to pipe up and support me, but in the end, as IRL, he goes with the flow.
So everytime I woke up last night, which was frequent, I would fall back asleep into this dream. No wonder I am exhausted today.
I went to telecon first thing this morning only to be jumped on left and right by a guy on the other side. He was being an inconsiderate jerk. My team backed me up, but it still made me feel inept and as though I am not being thorough in my work, which bugs me. I am extremely thorough. At the end he asked if I was still there, I said yes, and he apologized profusely for the way he treated me and said he felt guilty for being such a jerk. Well he should feel guilty.
I needed some quiet time after that so I worked in the lab working on wiring up a thermal controller. I worked and worked on it, determined to make it work. It wouldn't. I took it to my former team lead and now fellow scientist. I was prepared to tell him exactly all the tests I did and what happened. He didn't need to hear it, he trusted my judgment and tossed it in the trash. I went to my office and ordered a few new ones.
While I was placing my order my former manager, I still have yet to meet my new current manager one on one, came to my office. It appears that *I* am the matter of great concern among my division. He didn't close my door, so I didn't worry too much about this being a bad thing... but still it peaked my interest. I am one of three people that the division leaders met to discuss. It appears that my former manager, former team lead, division leader and current manager have outlined a career path they would like to see me follow. He told me that if it doesn't sit well, or I have concerns to let him know. He really reitterated to me that he wants to stay involved in my career path as much as possible and that he is there for me. It was so nice to hear that.
My crystal ball is propped up in front of me and through the haze I see my manager sitting across from me, I can't tell if it is my office or hers, but she is telling me that I need to dump Jim's project if I want a promotion. Now what is hazy in my crystal ball is if she is actually offering to help me find a project to fill said booted project or if she is giving me her advice and turning me lose to find my own way. Also hazy is the timeframe... is this to happen next week, next month, or over the next two years?
Surprised? Nope. I fully expect to hear this. Why? It's true. My career path under Jim is sketchy at best. I don't care for what I am doing, I don't feel important, I don't feel valued. I am ignored and expected to guess what is expected of me. I am not part of the boys club. Why should I stay on this project? I see no good reason. They don't stand up for me, they don't push for my promotion, they don't praise nor offer incentives for success. They suck.
I don't know why I was ever hired to start with. I mean really, my background was not commensurate with what they wanted me to do. I was easier to hire than a technician. But here I sit functioning as a technician/administrator. I didn't get my Ph.D. to order tubing, or to be in charge of purchasing equipment for the engineers. I have got to move on... how to do that is the only question. I don't even worry about hurting anyone's feelings anymore. Just give me a charge code.
Is it time to go home yet? I felt horrible leaving Leif at lunch today. He cried and cried. He is having a rough day too. I think I need to go home now. Bye!
Leif didn't sleep well, however, he did eat last night. He has recently decided he doesn't like solid food, mommy milk only. BUT, we did entice him with some banana/berries blend Gerber mix. He thought that was yummy stuff last night. However, wouldn't you know it is PURPLE! Nothing stains like berries.
Ok, so he was a little fussy this morning after a long night. I was just a little tired. You know those occasions where you are having a really cool dream, something wakes you up and you can't get back to the dream? It is so frustrating. Well I had the opposite problem last night. I would wake up, comfort Leif, fall asleep and fall back into the same, monotonous, tedious, awful dream. Ok, it wasn't awful, but it was a perfect exemplification of my frustration with work right now.
In it I would walk into the classified conference room and sitting there would be my project manager, one coworker and a former coworker who I cannot stand. The former coworker starts complaining and being his general disagreeable self about my presence, my general feeling about this project, I feel like I am the biggest misfit and am sick of being treated like admin. My project manager makes a big deal about that I am not supposed to be there, but if I want I can stay he guesses. Yep, more signs of my feeling like a project misfit and indications of my feelings of always being left out and as if I am the third wheel. All the while my coworker who I do like, sits there saying nothing. I keep waiting for him to pipe up and support me, but in the end, as IRL, he goes with the flow.
So everytime I woke up last night, which was frequent, I would fall back asleep into this dream. No wonder I am exhausted today.
I went to telecon first thing this morning only to be jumped on left and right by a guy on the other side. He was being an inconsiderate jerk. My team backed me up, but it still made me feel inept and as though I am not being thorough in my work, which bugs me. I am extremely thorough. At the end he asked if I was still there, I said yes, and he apologized profusely for the way he treated me and said he felt guilty for being such a jerk. Well he should feel guilty.
I needed some quiet time after that so I worked in the lab working on wiring up a thermal controller. I worked and worked on it, determined to make it work. It wouldn't. I took it to my former team lead and now fellow scientist. I was prepared to tell him exactly all the tests I did and what happened. He didn't need to hear it, he trusted my judgment and tossed it in the trash. I went to my office and ordered a few new ones.
While I was placing my order my former manager, I still have yet to meet my new current manager one on one, came to my office. It appears that *I* am the matter of great concern among my division. He didn't close my door, so I didn't worry too much about this being a bad thing... but still it peaked my interest. I am one of three people that the division leaders met to discuss. It appears that my former manager, former team lead, division leader and current manager have outlined a career path they would like to see me follow. He told me that if it doesn't sit well, or I have concerns to let him know. He really reitterated to me that he wants to stay involved in my career path as much as possible and that he is there for me. It was so nice to hear that.
My crystal ball is propped up in front of me and through the haze I see my manager sitting across from me, I can't tell if it is my office or hers, but she is telling me that I need to dump Jim's project if I want a promotion. Now what is hazy in my crystal ball is if she is actually offering to help me find a project to fill said booted project or if she is giving me her advice and turning me lose to find my own way. Also hazy is the timeframe... is this to happen next week, next month, or over the next two years?
Surprised? Nope. I fully expect to hear this. Why? It's true. My career path under Jim is sketchy at best. I don't care for what I am doing, I don't feel important, I don't feel valued. I am ignored and expected to guess what is expected of me. I am not part of the boys club. Why should I stay on this project? I see no good reason. They don't stand up for me, they don't push for my promotion, they don't praise nor offer incentives for success. They suck.
I don't know why I was ever hired to start with. I mean really, my background was not commensurate with what they wanted me to do. I was easier to hire than a technician. But here I sit functioning as a technician/administrator. I didn't get my Ph.D. to order tubing, or to be in charge of purchasing equipment for the engineers. I have got to move on... how to do that is the only question. I don't even worry about hurting anyone's feelings anymore. Just give me a charge code.
Is it time to go home yet? I felt horrible leaving Leif at lunch today. He cried and cried. He is having a rough day too. I think I need to go home now. Bye!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
The calm after the storm
My proposal is in. Yes, it was "in" last Friday too, but not the final draft. I am nervous and scared. I have submitted proposals before that I thought would get funded, but they haven't been quite this nerve-wracking. I think the reason it has me so spazed out is that in the past my proposals have been related to another ongoing project. Not this one. This is completely my own idea and there isn't any supporting staff or infrastructure for it. It is building from scratch. I am scared. I am also scared because the likelihood of funding is scarily real. The level 6 who is on my proposal has asked that it be funded asap so that I can get some particular equipment. My former mentor said he would bet money it will be funded and that I can get follow on money for the year after for proof of concept.
I have already basically designed this system before, I KNOW I can do it. But can I make it work?
So now I sit in my office, quiet, trying to calm my heart. $100,000 for 6 months is a lot of moolah.
I have already basically designed this system before, I KNOW I can do it. But can I make it work?
So now I sit in my office, quiet, trying to calm my heart. $100,000 for 6 months is a lot of moolah.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Funny Leif stories
He is just becoming such a little man, and a complete riot at the same time.
A guy I work with who has his son in daycare came by the other day. He told me he couldn't believe how big he is. I know. Sad. Then he told me that he had a funny Leif story from the other day when he was picking up his son. Leif was laying on the play mats. Another little boy is about two feet away and waving around a brightly colored scarf. He flicked it Leif's way and my son can't help but have quick hands of course. Well evidently he grabbed the other end, gave it a yank and sent the other little boy rolling. A full roll and a half! The little boy let go of the scarf in his bewilderment and Leif reeled it in and played with it himself.
Leif has been offering Winny her doggy treats. We hand Leif a doggy treat and he seems to know that if he holds it out, that Winny will come to him. Which is just the most fun ever. Winny is SO gentle with her mouth. (Ok if someone actually saw this I am sure they would be comparing us to the Crocodile Hunter and his antics with his baby in front of the croc...) But seriously now, those of you that know Winny know how nice and gentle she is. Winny opens her mouth to take the treat about the time Leif will start waving it around. Making it difficult for Winny, but she is persistant! Finally she will get it, which thrills Leif. And she will ever so gently pull it out of his hand. Then show is over.
A guy I work with who has his son in daycare came by the other day. He told me he couldn't believe how big he is. I know. Sad. Then he told me that he had a funny Leif story from the other day when he was picking up his son. Leif was laying on the play mats. Another little boy is about two feet away and waving around a brightly colored scarf. He flicked it Leif's way and my son can't help but have quick hands of course. Well evidently he grabbed the other end, gave it a yank and sent the other little boy rolling. A full roll and a half! The little boy let go of the scarf in his bewilderment and Leif reeled it in and played with it himself.
Leif has been offering Winny her doggy treats. We hand Leif a doggy treat and he seems to know that if he holds it out, that Winny will come to him. Which is just the most fun ever. Winny is SO gentle with her mouth. (Ok if someone actually saw this I am sure they would be comparing us to the Crocodile Hunter and his antics with his baby in front of the croc...) But seriously now, those of you that know Winny know how nice and gentle she is. Winny opens her mouth to take the treat about the time Leif will start waving it around. Making it difficult for Winny, but she is persistant! Finally she will get it, which thrills Leif. And she will ever so gently pull it out of his hand. Then show is over.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
No more nuclear life?
So maybe I won't glow green anymore? No kids with 12 toes?
I got the dreaded "boss walks into your office and closes the door" thing today. Talk about freaky, especially when I only see him when something is coming down. And well, something is coming down.
My group is a bunch (90) of nuclear physicists and radiochemists. Saying I don't fit in so well is an understatement. I am either scrambling to learn nuclear physics or continuing to find work outside my group. I have been far more successful at the later.
Anyways, my group has gotten so large, as have a couple others that they are reorganizing us. The vast majority of my group stays as is. All the nuclear physicist and radiation detection folks will stay in the group. The radiochemists will head off to join another analytical chemistry group. All of that moving leaves about 5 of us, me included tossed up as to where we belong. I am NOT, repeat *NOT* a wet chemist. My nuclear physics and rad detection is learned on the fly. News that I don't fit in is not surprising a bit.
One of the other TGMs has said fantastic stuff about my thin films work. I am really enjoying working with my current manager/team lead on this work. So word on the streets is that I probably belong working in this field. So I will be following my current manager and three other guys of different backgrounds out of my group and into the chemical and biological sciences group. A new boss, different projects, wow!
So maybe I can jump ship on some of the projects that seem to be getting me nowhere in my career and find more projects that are more in line with my current expertise.
My big manager kept it all in a positive light. I will be keeping my office, at least for the time being. Unless my new manager chooses to move me somewhere else.
Wow, I am just shocked. They like to reorganize things and then spring new things on us. I just wasn't expecting this at all. Bye bye nuclear world, in the literal sense!
I got the dreaded "boss walks into your office and closes the door" thing today. Talk about freaky, especially when I only see him when something is coming down. And well, something is coming down.
My group is a bunch (90) of nuclear physicists and radiochemists. Saying I don't fit in so well is an understatement. I am either scrambling to learn nuclear physics or continuing to find work outside my group. I have been far more successful at the later.
Anyways, my group has gotten so large, as have a couple others that they are reorganizing us. The vast majority of my group stays as is. All the nuclear physicist and radiation detection folks will stay in the group. The radiochemists will head off to join another analytical chemistry group. All of that moving leaves about 5 of us, me included tossed up as to where we belong. I am NOT, repeat *NOT* a wet chemist. My nuclear physics and rad detection is learned on the fly. News that I don't fit in is not surprising a bit.
One of the other TGMs has said fantastic stuff about my thin films work. I am really enjoying working with my current manager/team lead on this work. So word on the streets is that I probably belong working in this field. So I will be following my current manager and three other guys of different backgrounds out of my group and into the chemical and biological sciences group. A new boss, different projects, wow!
So maybe I can jump ship on some of the projects that seem to be getting me nowhere in my career and find more projects that are more in line with my current expertise.
My big manager kept it all in a positive light. I will be keeping my office, at least for the time being. Unless my new manager chooses to move me somewhere else.
Wow, I am just shocked. They like to reorganize things and then spring new things on us. I just wasn't expecting this at all. Bye bye nuclear world, in the literal sense!
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
On buying jeans
I should be writing proposals. I have two that are due on Friday. Instead my brain has turned to sludge. So maybe writing about buying jeans will help.
I bought jeans last weekend. This is exciting. What is more exciting is that I bought them without trying them on (thank you Costco) and they fit (thank you even more). They are mens jeans. No, I am not getting a sex change. Leif will not have two daddies.
A few years ago Tanya introduced me to men's Silvertab Levis. I had already sworn off Levis because they are sized so dang small. When I was a size 7/8... yes it was that long ago I contemplated buying them, they told me some horrifying thing like that I was a size 11/12. Of course that is what I am wearing now, post-pregnancy and it doesn't seem that bad, lol.
These Silvertab Levis are amazing jeans. Why they don't make them for women I don't know. Nice sit on your hip fit, roomy through the thighs and tapered to the ankle.
We were walking through Costco on Saturday. Love that store. Hans needed jeans, so we were exploring the men's pants area. Well lo and behold there is a stack of Silvertabs for $19. Not knowing which size to get. (No, I don't know my measurements.) I bought a pair of 32x32's. Poor Hans didn't get any because there weren't any in his size. I swear he has to have the most common men's pants size. We can rarely find his size at Costco, only in Wranglers, which frightens the living daylights out of us.
We got home and I put on my new jeans. Excited that they fit. Hans says, "Are those your new jeans?"
Me: "Yeah, what do you think?"
Hans: "They look great!"
Me: "Yeah I think so."
Hans: "I am glad I didn't get any."
Me: "Why is that?"
Hans: "They are women's jeans! I didn't notice that."
Me: "No they aren't they are mens."
Hans: "Well they must be mislabeled then because they look far better on you then on a man."
So see now. All you women out there, check out the Levis Silvertabs. I am as curvy as they come, very hourglass shape. And these men's jeans rock.
I bought jeans last weekend. This is exciting. What is more exciting is that I bought them without trying them on (thank you Costco) and they fit (thank you even more). They are mens jeans. No, I am not getting a sex change. Leif will not have two daddies.
A few years ago Tanya introduced me to men's Silvertab Levis. I had already sworn off Levis because they are sized so dang small. When I was a size 7/8... yes it was that long ago I contemplated buying them, they told me some horrifying thing like that I was a size 11/12. Of course that is what I am wearing now, post-pregnancy and it doesn't seem that bad, lol.
These Silvertab Levis are amazing jeans. Why they don't make them for women I don't know. Nice sit on your hip fit, roomy through the thighs and tapered to the ankle.
We were walking through Costco on Saturday. Love that store. Hans needed jeans, so we were exploring the men's pants area. Well lo and behold there is a stack of Silvertabs for $19. Not knowing which size to get. (No, I don't know my measurements.) I bought a pair of 32x32's. Poor Hans didn't get any because there weren't any in his size. I swear he has to have the most common men's pants size. We can rarely find his size at Costco, only in Wranglers, which frightens the living daylights out of us.
We got home and I put on my new jeans. Excited that they fit. Hans says, "Are those your new jeans?"
Me: "Yeah, what do you think?"
Hans: "They look great!"
Me: "Yeah I think so."
Hans: "I am glad I didn't get any."
Me: "Why is that?"
Hans: "They are women's jeans! I didn't notice that."
Me: "No they aren't they are mens."
Hans: "Well they must be mislabeled then because they look far better on you then on a man."
So see now. All you women out there, check out the Levis Silvertabs. I am as curvy as they come, very hourglass shape. And these men's jeans rock.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Is it Friday yet?
Nope, it is Wednesday... and my butt appears glued to my desk chair. I am apparently not the only one since I have a long string of e-mail commentary going on.
And now it is the following Tuesday. We will try this again. Today is an alright day. I am trying to figure out what to cook for a dinner party for 8 people (3 other couples) on Saturday. I am leaning towards cod with Sambal vinegrette sauce and wasabi cream sauce. Chicken for the weirdos who don't like fish. Risotto on the side, salad and a vegie. Oh and then ginger ice cream for dessert. Hans hasn't made any other suggestions so unless I have a major revelation, that will probably be it.
Leif is almost 6 months old. How is that even possible? He is wearing the most adorable little shirt that was given to him. I had it in his future wear stack and it is a 9 month size. Welp, I am a dork. He has worn it exactly once, today, and is outgrowing it. Little turkey.
We have also bumped him up a size in diapers. Every BM is a blow out lately. Hopefully the 4's will prevent that a little.
And yes, I have become one of "those" moms. I haven't heard stellar things about the toddler rooms at Leif's daycare. So I have been checking out other options. We have finally decided to go with a local Montessori school. It is really close to my work and we had a great tour the other day. Well great, decision made, right?
Wrong. Evidently I should have had him on the waitlist longer than 7 months in advance. I felt like saying "but he *has* to get in!" Should I have offered a bribe?? LOL. How sad. Ok, Leif is a tough kid, he will probably be fine at daycare for another year and a half. He takes toys away from the bigger, older babies. He holds his own with them. Anyways, stay tuned to find out if Leif will lead a life of daycare center bully or well mannered Montessori student.
Work is... well work. I just can't seem to break the barrier with my manager's, manager's manager. Yes, he really is 3 levels above me. He used to be 2 levels above me. He was who hired me. But I can't seem to get anywhere with him. It is like we are in a room, just the two of us and he yells out "anyone know anything about semiconductor surfaces?" I am standing there waving my hands wildly and jumping up and down and reciting my dissertation. While he looks around, all the while avoiding me, then turns around mummbling that he needs to find someone who knows something. I just get that feeling from him that he either hates me, doesn't trust me, doesn't think I am capable... whatever. He just won't even give me a chance. A few years ago I gave a brown bag seminar talking about my background, the only opportunity I have had to show him my background. And he didn't show. So he essentially knows nothing about my background. Hans thinks it is bad enough and obvious enough that I need to go to HR about it.
I guess the reason that this came up is that once again my name has been "left off" a key proposal for him. He is really a horses ass.
And now it is the following Tuesday. We will try this again. Today is an alright day. I am trying to figure out what to cook for a dinner party for 8 people (3 other couples) on Saturday. I am leaning towards cod with Sambal vinegrette sauce and wasabi cream sauce. Chicken for the weirdos who don't like fish. Risotto on the side, salad and a vegie. Oh and then ginger ice cream for dessert. Hans hasn't made any other suggestions so unless I have a major revelation, that will probably be it.
Leif is almost 6 months old. How is that even possible? He is wearing the most adorable little shirt that was given to him. I had it in his future wear stack and it is a 9 month size. Welp, I am a dork. He has worn it exactly once, today, and is outgrowing it. Little turkey.
We have also bumped him up a size in diapers. Every BM is a blow out lately. Hopefully the 4's will prevent that a little.
And yes, I have become one of "those" moms. I haven't heard stellar things about the toddler rooms at Leif's daycare. So I have been checking out other options. We have finally decided to go with a local Montessori school. It is really close to my work and we had a great tour the other day. Well great, decision made, right?
Wrong. Evidently I should have had him on the waitlist longer than 7 months in advance. I felt like saying "but he *has* to get in!" Should I have offered a bribe?? LOL. How sad. Ok, Leif is a tough kid, he will probably be fine at daycare for another year and a half. He takes toys away from the bigger, older babies. He holds his own with them. Anyways, stay tuned to find out if Leif will lead a life of daycare center bully or well mannered Montessori student.
Work is... well work. I just can't seem to break the barrier with my manager's, manager's manager. Yes, he really is 3 levels above me. He used to be 2 levels above me. He was who hired me. But I can't seem to get anywhere with him. It is like we are in a room, just the two of us and he yells out "anyone know anything about semiconductor surfaces?" I am standing there waving my hands wildly and jumping up and down and reciting my dissertation. While he looks around, all the while avoiding me, then turns around mummbling that he needs to find someone who knows something. I just get that feeling from him that he either hates me, doesn't trust me, doesn't think I am capable... whatever. He just won't even give me a chance. A few years ago I gave a brown bag seminar talking about my background, the only opportunity I have had to show him my background. And he didn't show. So he essentially knows nothing about my background. Hans thinks it is bad enough and obvious enough that I need to go to HR about it.
I guess the reason that this came up is that once again my name has been "left off" a key proposal for him. He is really a horses ass.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Snow... errr... rain day!
Now this is how every Monday should be! I got up, got Leif and I ready, got him to daycare, me to work and worked my morning. At almost noon, when I am just about ready to go feed Leif, my manager comes by and asks what I would think if someone told me to go spend the afternoon with Leif. I told him that would be pretty cool. He then said, "go spend the afternoon with Leif". So I responded, "do I run out the door before you say just kidding, or stick around for an explanation?" Turns out it was raining and freezing, so a freezing rain warning. The roads were slick and getting slicker, so the lab was closing.
Wow! Talk about making my day! I came home and fixed a grilled cheese sandwich, played with Leif for an hour and a half. Then he went down for a nap and I updated our website. He has been sleeping for almost two hours. So hopefully that means he will sleep well tonight.
Hans called in the early afternoon and they were closing his office too. So he came home and has spent the afternoon working on installing his surround sound.
Leif is now up from his nap, which puts a quick end to this installment of my blog since Leif would have lots to add himself and would only be frustrated by his spelling skills. (Not that mommy tried to keep his little hands off the keyboard or anything like that.)
Wow! Talk about making my day! I came home and fixed a grilled cheese sandwich, played with Leif for an hour and a half. Then he went down for a nap and I updated our website. He has been sleeping for almost two hours. So hopefully that means he will sleep well tonight.
Hans called in the early afternoon and they were closing his office too. So he came home and has spent the afternoon working on installing his surround sound.
Leif is now up from his nap, which puts a quick end to this installment of my blog since Leif would have lots to add himself and would only be frustrated by his spelling skills. (Not that mommy tried to keep his little hands off the keyboard or anything like that.)
Friday, January 14, 2005
TGIF
The Bad:
I have worked the past few weeks with one of the senior scientists on her proposal that is a show in for funding. Well it is only a shoe in because she has made it through all the other hoops. It is right up my alley, so I am on her "short list" of collaborators. Wheee!
Why then is the draft ready to go out and I am not listed as a primary investigator then? In fact, one woman is listed who said she does not have the time. I have two choices, I can let it be. Or I can call her on it. So I called her on it.
The reason why my name was left off? Unfortunatly it wasn't just an oversight. Nope, she doesn't want to mess with Tony's recommendations. Tony recommended Jana and Cari as collaborators, even though I sat there and expressed an interest and stated my background was relevant. Mary is honest to a fault. So I knew she would be honest with me and that was what I wanted. I value that and respect her for telling me why she left me off. But man that steams me.
Tony is my team lead's manager's manager. Follow? He opposed my initial hire as a post-doc. But then turned around and offered me a full time scientist position a year and a half later. Confused yet? I am. He and I are not close. We are different personality types, but I respect him. Why then would he not want me on this proposal? That is the $100,000 question.
The Good:
So reading this you might think that I am not doing so well in my field. Wrong. I am rocking on my one project that I like. My research has lead to a lot of buzz and two patent filings. I had a meeting this morning with the people on this project - all outside of my group of course. It went outstanding. So well that this group has offered me lab space and funds to buy stuff to do my work. My own group won't even give me my own lab space. Then to top it off I loved this comment today in the meeting... "If April's stuff proves to do what we think it is going to do, they are going to be jumping up and down in California. And I can retire on royalties."
How can I have one project going so wonderfully, yet be struggling to prove myself?
The rest of it:
Well it is Friday and I am thrilled. I have a few things to finish up here. We had plans to go out to dinner for Hans' birthday, but they were thwarted by a sick babysitter. Oh well, we will go next week. I am excited for the weekend.
I have worked the past few weeks with one of the senior scientists on her proposal that is a show in for funding. Well it is only a shoe in because she has made it through all the other hoops. It is right up my alley, so I am on her "short list" of collaborators. Wheee!
Why then is the draft ready to go out and I am not listed as a primary investigator then? In fact, one woman is listed who said she does not have the time. I have two choices, I can let it be. Or I can call her on it. So I called her on it.
The reason why my name was left off? Unfortunatly it wasn't just an oversight. Nope, she doesn't want to mess with Tony's recommendations. Tony recommended Jana and Cari as collaborators, even though I sat there and expressed an interest and stated my background was relevant. Mary is honest to a fault. So I knew she would be honest with me and that was what I wanted. I value that and respect her for telling me why she left me off. But man that steams me.
Tony is my team lead's manager's manager. Follow? He opposed my initial hire as a post-doc. But then turned around and offered me a full time scientist position a year and a half later. Confused yet? I am. He and I are not close. We are different personality types, but I respect him. Why then would he not want me on this proposal? That is the $100,000 question.
The Good:
So reading this you might think that I am not doing so well in my field. Wrong. I am rocking on my one project that I like. My research has lead to a lot of buzz and two patent filings. I had a meeting this morning with the people on this project - all outside of my group of course. It went outstanding. So well that this group has offered me lab space and funds to buy stuff to do my work. My own group won't even give me my own lab space. Then to top it off I loved this comment today in the meeting... "If April's stuff proves to do what we think it is going to do, they are going to be jumping up and down in California. And I can retire on royalties."
How can I have one project going so wonderfully, yet be struggling to prove myself?
The rest of it:
Well it is Friday and I am thrilled. I have a few things to finish up here. We had plans to go out to dinner for Hans' birthday, but they were thwarted by a sick babysitter. Oh well, we will go next week. I am excited for the weekend.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Wednesday that feels like Monday
It is Wednesday and it feels like Monday. Which is far better than it being Monday and feeling like Wednesday of course. But it is also disconcerting that I only have a few days left in my week and I still have so much to accomplish.
I have to say that I hope I didn't sound whiney earlier. I really don't care that my birthday doesn't always get remembered. I more just get tired of people making up excuses. But this one was my favorite this year, "it's just too close to Christmas to remember". Well hold on a sec... let me change that for you... Just because I remember birthdays in no way means that I expect others to do the same for me, if that makes sense. I am just anal that way... or should I say that my "analytical analytical" self comes out.
So I found out on Monday and Tuesday that I am "analytical analytical". Give up? Me too. I spent 2 days in social skills class. It is supposed to teach all of us inept scientists and engineers how to interact with each other. Umm yeah, I learned a lot. (Me=cynical? Never)
So analytical category means that I use "ask" instead of "tell" in my communications. Basically I don't bark orders, I might ask a lot of questions and say pretty please a lot. Not so far off I suppose... Couple that with me being "task oriented" and not "people oriented" and I am analytical. Evidently in my personality I can take that to an extreme and that makes me "analytical analytical". Or A^2, as I like to call it.
All of this was gleaned from 5, or in my case, 4 evaluations provided by people I know. My mistake, most of them came from people I work under. So maybe that's why I was more "ask" since I always ask them for things. And maybe why I was more "task" than "people" since I work on tasks for them. Whatever.
In asking around most people seem quite surprised with my classification. I am not overly surprised necessarily, I think I am analytical, but not A^2. What struck me as funny is the number of people who disagree that I am not people oriented. This kind of cracks me up... I have evidently fooled many people. Yes, I love to throw parties, entertain, get people together... but I do this rarely. I am far more comfortable sitting at home with Hans and Leif.
I think the one thing that the social styles class showed me was how "off" it was in how I respond to stress. I can be and tend towards extremely confrontational. So much so that I need to watch to not make a fool out of myself. People who avoid confrontation drive me crazy when I am in that pissy stress mode. So how can I then be A^2? The model must be wrong.
I have to say that I hope I didn't sound whiney earlier. I really don't care that my birthday doesn't always get remembered. I more just get tired of people making up excuses. But this one was my favorite this year, "it's just too close to Christmas to remember". Well hold on a sec... let me change that for you... Just because I remember birthdays in no way means that I expect others to do the same for me, if that makes sense. I am just anal that way... or should I say that my "analytical analytical" self comes out.
So I found out on Monday and Tuesday that I am "analytical analytical". Give up? Me too. I spent 2 days in social skills class. It is supposed to teach all of us inept scientists and engineers how to interact with each other. Umm yeah, I learned a lot. (Me=cynical? Never)
So analytical category means that I use "ask" instead of "tell" in my communications. Basically I don't bark orders, I might ask a lot of questions and say pretty please a lot. Not so far off I suppose... Couple that with me being "task oriented" and not "people oriented" and I am analytical. Evidently in my personality I can take that to an extreme and that makes me "analytical analytical". Or A^2, as I like to call it.
All of this was gleaned from 5, or in my case, 4 evaluations provided by people I know. My mistake, most of them came from people I work under. So maybe that's why I was more "ask" since I always ask them for things. And maybe why I was more "task" than "people" since I work on tasks for them. Whatever.
In asking around most people seem quite surprised with my classification. I am not overly surprised necessarily, I think I am analytical, but not A^2. What struck me as funny is the number of people who disagree that I am not people oriented. This kind of cracks me up... I have evidently fooled many people. Yes, I love to throw parties, entertain, get people together... but I do this rarely. I am far more comfortable sitting at home with Hans and Leif.
I think the one thing that the social styles class showed me was how "off" it was in how I respond to stress. I can be and tend towards extremely confrontational. So much so that I need to watch to not make a fool out of myself. People who avoid confrontation drive me crazy when I am in that pissy stress mode. So how can I then be A^2? The model must be wrong.
Friday, January 07, 2005
All in one day
What a day.
It was snowing this morning. It never snows here, roads were slick, so I was piddley.
Got Leif dropped off at daycare just in time for me to run to my office and then run to my first 9am meeting. Got that done.
Sat in my office for about an hour doing stuff until my 11am meeting. 11:15 Jim makes it to the 11am meeting. I had to leave at 11:30am. 15 whole minutes for a meeting. Wow.
I ran to feed Leif at 11:30 so he wasn't screaming bloody murder the whole time. I get there and he is sleeping. So I hold him for 30 minutes. Still didn't wake up. The management was out trying to shut off the water to the building as it was flooding in the toddler rooms. Ugh. I left to meet Hans.
We were meeting at Children's Garden to see the place. It is a Montessori school that we are looking at putting Leif in once he turns 1. Huge waitlist, they encouraged us to look elsewhere, but we got him on the wait list. We will go back on the 21st for a tour.
Went and ate at India Palace for buffet lunch. Yum. About halfway through the lunch, daycare calls. Water main is broken and they are closing. Come get yer kid.
Hans decides he can more easily take the afternoon off. I have WAY too much to do this afternoon.
I get back out to work and start on my stuff. I need to pump. I get all hooked up, shut my door and start pumping. Pow, the lights go off and alarms start ringing. Ok, this is like my worst fear. Pumping and alarms. Well of course that I am not pumping anymore because the power is off. I have an internal office, so it is pitch black. Nice.
I am in the process of disconnecting myself when my wonderful coworkers start pounding on doors. "I am coming!" DUH, I mean the lights are off, power is off, I have no computer, I know I need to leave. I walk out, boobs leaking, boobs swollen and uncomfortable. Do I stay around or go home?
Well my wonderful manager decides we are standing around, so we might as well talk work. Rolling my eyes... Oh but this is good. I am one of 6 people tasked with designing a complete lab, 600 square feet due next Friday. Oh yeah, I even got a work package. This will likely be my lab and I am given 4 hours to design it. Wow, what thought.
Finally power comes back on, just before I decide to bail. Oh well. I am here. I work another hour and I am outta here.
I get to go learn how to be social next Monday and Tuesday. I am taking a class that everyone I work with should take, social skills. Greeeaaat.
Can I go home now?
It was snowing this morning. It never snows here, roads were slick, so I was piddley.
Got Leif dropped off at daycare just in time for me to run to my office and then run to my first 9am meeting. Got that done.
Sat in my office for about an hour doing stuff until my 11am meeting. 11:15 Jim makes it to the 11am meeting. I had to leave at 11:30am. 15 whole minutes for a meeting. Wow.
I ran to feed Leif at 11:30 so he wasn't screaming bloody murder the whole time. I get there and he is sleeping. So I hold him for 30 minutes. Still didn't wake up. The management was out trying to shut off the water to the building as it was flooding in the toddler rooms. Ugh. I left to meet Hans.
We were meeting at Children's Garden to see the place. It is a Montessori school that we are looking at putting Leif in once he turns 1. Huge waitlist, they encouraged us to look elsewhere, but we got him on the wait list. We will go back on the 21st for a tour.
Went and ate at India Palace for buffet lunch. Yum. About halfway through the lunch, daycare calls. Water main is broken and they are closing. Come get yer kid.
Hans decides he can more easily take the afternoon off. I have WAY too much to do this afternoon.
I get back out to work and start on my stuff. I need to pump. I get all hooked up, shut my door and start pumping. Pow, the lights go off and alarms start ringing. Ok, this is like my worst fear. Pumping and alarms. Well of course that I am not pumping anymore because the power is off. I have an internal office, so it is pitch black. Nice.
I am in the process of disconnecting myself when my wonderful coworkers start pounding on doors. "I am coming!" DUH, I mean the lights are off, power is off, I have no computer, I know I need to leave. I walk out, boobs leaking, boobs swollen and uncomfortable. Do I stay around or go home?
Well my wonderful manager decides we are standing around, so we might as well talk work. Rolling my eyes... Oh but this is good. I am one of 6 people tasked with designing a complete lab, 600 square feet due next Friday. Oh yeah, I even got a work package. This will likely be my lab and I am given 4 hours to design it. Wow, what thought.
Finally power comes back on, just before I decide to bail. Oh well. I am here. I work another hour and I am outta here.
I get to go learn how to be social next Monday and Tuesday. I am taking a class that everyone I work with should take, social skills. Greeeaaat.
Can I go home now?
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Resolutions
So I guess I should reveal my new years resolutions... if I can still call them that.
1. Eat/cook healthier. Shouldn't be so hard, we used to do so good. This does mean (my wonderful husband) that when I DON'T buy cinnamon rolls at the grocery store, that it wasn't just because I forgot and that you should go back and get them! ;)
2. Cut back on the soft drinks. I have horrible heartburn and soft drinks have been linked to that, which can then eventually cause esophageal cancer. I don't want that, so I need to cut out the pop.
Ok, there really was a third... but I can't remember it. Maybe I put it out of my mind for a reason...
1. Eat/cook healthier. Shouldn't be so hard, we used to do so good. This does mean (my wonderful husband) that when I DON'T buy cinnamon rolls at the grocery store, that it wasn't just because I forgot and that you should go back and get them! ;)
2. Cut back on the soft drinks. I have horrible heartburn and soft drinks have been linked to that, which can then eventually cause esophageal cancer. I don't want that, so I need to cut out the pop.
Ok, there really was a third... but I can't remember it. Maybe I put it out of my mind for a reason...
One week almost down
Ok Leif, tell me what exactly is funny about my walking across the room without any clothes on... hmmm?? Military school for you!
2 days until I am 33 and I feel nothing. I could really care less about my birthday for some reason. Few people remember, which is fine. I will appreciate that more as I get older I am sure. ;) Those people who do remember, no one actually sends anything to arrive on time. I think I will just declare my birthday being from January 8th to February 8th from now on. I know, people are busy with the holidays, and no I don't want to inconvenience people. But some part of me (even though it really doesn't matter) still thinks that if a person cared they would make an effort. Ah well. I am not a kid anymore, birthdays aren't supposed to matter. Which sends me back to the first line in this paragraph.
It is Thursday. One more day left in the week. And Fridays are always kind of nice. Relatively few people work on Fridays, so it is quiet. There aren't many deadlines set for Fridays.
Tomorrow we are going to go and check out the local Montessori school for Leif. We hope to have him start there at age 1. We have heard, and I have seen first hand, that while the infant rooms at Kindercare are quite good, the toddler rooms leave something to be desired. It is "survival of the fittest" and chaotic from what I have heard. Then there is the snobby side of me that is going to come out and say that if I am paying full tuition price, I want my child to be around other children whose parents are willing to pay full tuition price and not use government subsidy.
Tuition will not be cheap. It will be less then we are paying now for infant daycare. But significantly more than toddler daycare at Kindercare. But from what I have heard, I like the Montessori philosophy. I am looking for strict discipline, well mannered and respectful children.
Let's hope Leif gets in and isn't given enough time in the Kindercare toddler rooms to turn into a wildebeast.
2 days until I am 33 and I feel nothing. I could really care less about my birthday for some reason. Few people remember, which is fine. I will appreciate that more as I get older I am sure. ;) Those people who do remember, no one actually sends anything to arrive on time. I think I will just declare my birthday being from January 8th to February 8th from now on. I know, people are busy with the holidays, and no I don't want to inconvenience people. But some part of me (even though it really doesn't matter) still thinks that if a person cared they would make an effort. Ah well. I am not a kid anymore, birthdays aren't supposed to matter. Which sends me back to the first line in this paragraph.
It is Thursday. One more day left in the week. And Fridays are always kind of nice. Relatively few people work on Fridays, so it is quiet. There aren't many deadlines set for Fridays.
Tomorrow we are going to go and check out the local Montessori school for Leif. We hope to have him start there at age 1. We have heard, and I have seen first hand, that while the infant rooms at Kindercare are quite good, the toddler rooms leave something to be desired. It is "survival of the fittest" and chaotic from what I have heard. Then there is the snobby side of me that is going to come out and say that if I am paying full tuition price, I want my child to be around other children whose parents are willing to pay full tuition price and not use government subsidy.
Tuition will not be cheap. It will be less then we are paying now for infant daycare. But significantly more than toddler daycare at Kindercare. But from what I have heard, I like the Montessori philosophy. I am looking for strict discipline, well mannered and respectful children.
Let's hope Leif gets in and isn't given enough time in the Kindercare toddler rooms to turn into a wildebeast.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
My geeky sense of humor
So we are talking to a theoretician about what kind of data we would like to get out of his models. Mary said that she would like to see vibrational modes, sensitivity, excitation states, etc. Then she paused.
He asked, "anything else?"
My stupid response, "well if you could give us position and momentum simultaneously that would be nice".
Took him a minute to respond and then he said, "well I suppose that would mean the project was over then?"
My response, "Is that a bad thing at that point?"
Him, "The Nobel works for me".
He asked, "anything else?"
My stupid response, "well if you could give us position and momentum simultaneously that would be nice".
Took him a minute to respond and then he said, "well I suppose that would mean the project was over then?"
My response, "Is that a bad thing at that point?"
Him, "The Nobel works for me".
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Back in the groove
Well today I took the dive back into work. It took a lot of mental work to make that dive into the past few months and figure out where I left off on projects.
I had a great meeting today. One I like... meeting at Starbucks with a couple of women I know. That's my kind of meeting. We planned for a proposal we are writing together.
Speaking of this I have to select a mentor for a development program I am participating in and I think I have selected my mentor. It will NOT be my original post-doctoral mentor, not surprising. Nor will it be my close friend here at work who has provided a lot of good advice. I think he will be disappointed. But I need someone who I can relate. I have chosen Mary, she has a son and has been through successfully the rigamaroll of what it is to be a woman from a different background in a nuclear field. Fighting with the men, securing your own space, and raising a family. I think this is a good choice for me.
I jumped back into my main project with both feet today. Since before maternity leave I have spent the majority of my time on another project, by choice. So this is the project where I started my post-doc. I am getting more and more the impression that as soon as I can make the leap from here would be good. I am just not into the boys club. I have tried and tried to fit in, but it just isn't working. And yet they wonder why they can't maintain new people and why people are consistently swayed away.
Well time for me to start wrapping things up for the day. I have no idea what I am cooking for dinner. Any ideas for me? I can't wait to go pick up Leif. If only he wouldn't scream the whole way home. It just breaks my heart.
I had a great meeting today. One I like... meeting at Starbucks with a couple of women I know. That's my kind of meeting. We planned for a proposal we are writing together.
Speaking of this I have to select a mentor for a development program I am participating in and I think I have selected my mentor. It will NOT be my original post-doctoral mentor, not surprising. Nor will it be my close friend here at work who has provided a lot of good advice. I think he will be disappointed. But I need someone who I can relate. I have chosen Mary, she has a son and has been through successfully the rigamaroll of what it is to be a woman from a different background in a nuclear field. Fighting with the men, securing your own space, and raising a family. I think this is a good choice for me.
I jumped back into my main project with both feet today. Since before maternity leave I have spent the majority of my time on another project, by choice. So this is the project where I started my post-doc. I am getting more and more the impression that as soon as I can make the leap from here would be good. I am just not into the boys club. I have tried and tried to fit in, but it just isn't working. And yet they wonder why they can't maintain new people and why people are consistently swayed away.
Well time for me to start wrapping things up for the day. I have no idea what I am cooking for dinner. Any ideas for me? I can't wait to go pick up Leif. If only he wouldn't scream the whole way home. It just breaks my heart.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Starting on a high note
It is now 2005 and 5 days until I turn 33. Lots of good things happened last year, the first of which is the birth of Leif John. He is the coolest thing.
Leif is now 5 months old, about 18.5 lbs, 27 inches long and a bundle of energy. He is rolling from the back to front in a seconds notice. He has been known to roll from the front to back but would rather whine for mommy or daddy to come help him rather than expend the energy that should be stored up for propelling himself forward. Yes, you heard right. Yesterday Leif figured out that forward movement can be accomplished by pulling his knees under him and pushing off. Note to self, keep all toys out of his forward field of vision. If this fails, Velcro him to the carpet.
Leif is just about the most smiling, happy baby ever. If he is fussing you know something is seriously wrong. Seeing those smiles and his eyes sparkle is the highlight of my day.
Work, well it's good. I have a lot to be thankful here. I have a job with benefits, I make good money, I am working in a field I never thought I would be. But somehow I still feel compelled to complain and whine. I have done a lot of that lately and I need to work hard on getting past it all.
Life is good. I am going to start out the year being positive about the things going on here at work and try not to dwell upon the negatives.
The holidays:
We survived another Christmas away from home. As much as we love our family, it is just hard to always travel over the holidays. Even though family helps out with our plane tickets usually there are a lot of other expenses... a dog sitter for Winny for example, or the cost to ship 3 boxes of Christmas gifts. In the coming years Leif will be becoming more cognizent of the holidays and Santa will be visiting OUR house. Which consequently means that we will not be travelling for the holidays.
We got so many wonderful gifts. I got ruby and diamond earrings from Hans. (Ruby is Leif's birthstone.) I also got two stemless Reidel glasses, a butter keeper, a few cd's, some books, a Kangaroo Pouch for carrying Leif. Hans got some clothes, the Spiderman 2 DVD, and a golf club. We bought a Kodak digital camera with Christmas money. And to ourselves for Christmas and birthdays we bought speakers for our surround sound system.
Leif got lots of cool gifts also, blocks, a plastic ring stacker, the cutest ever swimsuit, a robe and a variety of noise making, movement making toys which I take as payback for supplying related kids with such gifts when I had none.
Thanks to all for everything. We love you and enjoyed seeing you at Christmas. Happy New Year.
Leif is now 5 months old, about 18.5 lbs, 27 inches long and a bundle of energy. He is rolling from the back to front in a seconds notice. He has been known to roll from the front to back but would rather whine for mommy or daddy to come help him rather than expend the energy that should be stored up for propelling himself forward. Yes, you heard right. Yesterday Leif figured out that forward movement can be accomplished by pulling his knees under him and pushing off. Note to self, keep all toys out of his forward field of vision. If this fails, Velcro him to the carpet.
Leif is just about the most smiling, happy baby ever. If he is fussing you know something is seriously wrong. Seeing those smiles and his eyes sparkle is the highlight of my day.
Work, well it's good. I have a lot to be thankful here. I have a job with benefits, I make good money, I am working in a field I never thought I would be. But somehow I still feel compelled to complain and whine. I have done a lot of that lately and I need to work hard on getting past it all.
Life is good. I am going to start out the year being positive about the things going on here at work and try not to dwell upon the negatives.
The holidays:
We survived another Christmas away from home. As much as we love our family, it is just hard to always travel over the holidays. Even though family helps out with our plane tickets usually there are a lot of other expenses... a dog sitter for Winny for example, or the cost to ship 3 boxes of Christmas gifts. In the coming years Leif will be becoming more cognizent of the holidays and Santa will be visiting OUR house. Which consequently means that we will not be travelling for the holidays.
We got so many wonderful gifts. I got ruby and diamond earrings from Hans. (Ruby is Leif's birthstone.) I also got two stemless Reidel glasses, a butter keeper, a few cd's, some books, a Kangaroo Pouch for carrying Leif. Hans got some clothes, the Spiderman 2 DVD, and a golf club. We bought a Kodak digital camera with Christmas money. And to ourselves for Christmas and birthdays we bought speakers for our surround sound system.
Leif got lots of cool gifts also, blocks, a plastic ring stacker, the cutest ever swimsuit, a robe and a variety of noise making, movement making toys which I take as payback for supplying related kids with such gifts when I had none.
Thanks to all for everything. We love you and enjoyed seeing you at Christmas. Happy New Year.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side.
How appropriate. We are leaving for Colorado tomorrow and this song is streaming on KFOG. Talk about an anthem to high school. We used to think this was THE coolest song ever. And you know, it really kind of is. Lou Reed rules.
Hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side.
Thursday will be interesting. Tanya is coming up for a Christmas cookie decorating celebration. Then we are leaving Leif with mom and heading out for the evening. The presence of Leif and my what will be engorged boobs will prevent it from being a very long outting. But nonetheless we will be headed to downtown Ft. Collins which pretty much assures us that we will encounter faces from the past.
This whole experience makes me a little neurotic. How can I so quickly turn into that snotty 16 year old girl who worries about what people thing so easily?
Hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side.
Thursday will be interesting. Tanya is coming up for a Christmas cookie decorating celebration. Then we are leaving Leif with mom and heading out for the evening. The presence of Leif and my what will be engorged boobs will prevent it from being a very long outting. But nonetheless we will be headed to downtown Ft. Collins which pretty much assures us that we will encounter faces from the past.
This whole experience makes me a little neurotic. How can I so quickly turn into that snotty 16 year old girl who worries about what people thing so easily?
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