No funding, yet again.

So another cycle of exploratory proposals has come and is going. I submitted two, very excellent proposals. Last year I was told it was a 50-50 shot if I got funded, but next year I will for sure. Well here it is, next year, and welp, no funding of my own.

Ok, I should qualify that this is simply based off my chatting with R.C., who doles out the cash-ola today previous to another meeting.

In one instant my "collections platform" proposal received acolades. It really is unique and a good idea, but it is just one in a stack of 5 collections proposals. So his solution is to consider getting them all together along with the currently funded sorbents project and revamp them under one heading for a large chunk of money elsewhere. What? You mean there is other money elsewhere?? I doubt it, I think "elsewhere" is a place that exists where they don't want to tell you it is a bad idea, cause it's not, but it's that place where no one ever wants to go to retrieve ideas. Who actually puts money in "elsewhere"?

The other proposal, everyone says it was a shoe in. The biggest problem was that I asked for 1/3 of their complete budgets. Yeah, I could have asked for less, but by my calculations I can't even BUY the equipment for less than $50K, and then I still have to pay people to work on the project. So R.C. told me that it is a long shot because I asked for $100K and unfortunately he thinks I was correct to ask for that much money, he doesn't think it could be done for less. He did throw me one bone though... get off my lazy duff and submit it as a concept paper for a life cycle plan (my words- he phrased it much nicer). Hell it probably shouldn't even be labelled "exploratory", it can be done, it is just a matter of logistics, putting it together, modeling it and making it work. So... with any luck the big talked about "plus up" for the program this year could result in my first funded proposal for FY06. Imagine that... to skip the entire exploratory phase all together... just dreaming here... don't mind me.

Leif is doing awesome. He is such a happy baby. I don't know what we did to deserve him and I only hope that I can prove myself as being deserving enough to parent him. He is truly amazing. He is saying (imitating) mama and dada and today I swear he waved at me. I always wave at him when I leave after visiting daycare. And today he raised his hand and opened and closed his fingers. His teachers got excited and everyone tried to get him to wave after that. He is such an attention hound. I am sure he just played coy after that!