Wanderlust

Is this what I have? Is "wanderlust" my problem? I am wondering if it is just that time of year when I want to go somewhere, anywhere, far from here. Or if it is a permanent feeling that ebbs and flows and is associated with "this place".

I am traveling on Sunday, so it doesn't seem as though I should be feeling it so strong. I am so excited to go to Reno. Enough excited that I am feeling like a bad mom (episode #2 today) because I am not only looking forward to it, but looking forward to a "me" break.

My mom and stepdad are going to Alaska in August and I am insanely jealous. I provided a recent list with links of everywhere they have to go (dining, attractions, even my favorite grocery store). I then whined to my mom that putting all that info together just made me want to go with them.

It isn't just Alaska. I was thinking the other dayback to my trip to Colorado last summer with fondness. What they say about distance makes the heart grow fonder... totally true. It was a really hard trip, both in dealing with family and handling a one year old on my own, but I hardly remember that now! Right about now if I had the time off available I would do it again. My mom's neighborhood pool is calling my name.

Then I think about Hawaii. now that's a vacation. Or just GIVE me two days in San Francisco. (AVS conference 2007, here I come!)

But would travel cure me? Or is it a more deep rooted dissatisfaction with this region. Whenever someone mentions to me the possibility of jobs elsewhere, my mind starts rolling. Would I move back to Reno given an opportunity? Alaska? Anywhere else but here?

Since the time I was about 13, I have moved nearly exactly every five to six years. From Wyoming to Fort Collins, CO at 13. When I was 19 I moved to Boulder to go to school. At 24 I moved to Reno. Age 30 here. I am nearing that typical move point. I don't think of myself as restless. I really like the idea of settling down somewhere for life. But what would that take? What exactly are our requirements? This place isn't out of the running. It is near the top given the quality schools, the job potentials for me, and our friends are here. But wow I miss the mountains. I miss shopping. I miss good food.

Today I have found myself far less dissatisfied with work here. I think the past few weeks of waiting for things to happen and prodding people like stubborn cows, leaves far too much time for me to think what if and scan the job ads and read (probably way too far) into a few requests from old profs (one who is retiring) to meet when I come to town for the conference on Sunday. (Five copies of my CV arepacked... just in case.)

Nope, today I have been busy, I have been reassured of my future position on 3 of my 4 projects for next fiscal year. So things are looking good and my major fear of having to go to my manager and tell her I need work has been postponed. What does the future hold? I don't want a crystal ball, I love surprises. Just a hint please.

Oh yes, bad mom move #1. AB dresses Leif in the mornings and this morning I overheard him on the monitor talking about cutting off some of Leif's pants. I take off RUNNING to Leif's room. I explain that he will NOT be cutting off Leif's pants. I bought a number of those jeans from Gymboree and Gap and they are not cheap. Whereas I can pick up a pair of shorts from Target for $2.99 that are "play" clothes he can wear to daycare. So since *I* have not done laundry this week, because *someone* didn't tell me Leif was running out of clothes, he had no shorts today. Bad mom move #1 - pulling out the single pair of "not visibly dirty" pair of shorts from the laundry basket and toss them to AB to put on Leif.

Yes, my kid is in already worn shorts today. Trip toTarget for new play shorts for daycare is first on the agenda tomorrow. After that a trip to Costco only because I am feeling neglected being that AB only goes lately since he can go during the day. I love that place. A BBQ to attend Saturday afternoon where I will be watching Leif like a hawk. One of the other children at the BBQ is NOT socialized at all and has a history of plain being mean. And he is big. One of my coworkers and I have a pact to watch Leif and his daughter like hawks, lest one of them gets clocked upside the head with a chair courtesy ofDuncan-the-Wild. I really despise that child. How can such nice, sincere, friendly people have such a wild beast for a child?