You have to remember that feeling, I know my husband does. Sitting in a class… feeling so tired… and then your head jerks up. You tell yourself you will not fall asleep… pay attention… this is important… this might be on a test… head jerk!
Ugh. At least it was a huge auditorium.
I will blame Leif. Poor kid, gets blamed for everything. I had book club last night and so by the time I got home and got my evening chores done it was late. Then I got sucked into watching How I Met Your Mother with AB… his new favorite sitcom. Truth be told, the only sitcom we watch.
Then 5:10am came far too soon when over the monitor I hear Leif crying. I roll over and ask AB to try and get him back down. His response was, “let’s see if he wakes up more before I go try”. Well that made absolutely no sense at all, but whatever.
5:17am and I am very nearly getting up and giving up on my morning run. AB jumps up once he notices me stirring lest he be considered a slacker. He went in and of course, Leif was inconsolable.
I went in to relieve him and while standing there, with his eyes pursed closed and the most awful look on his face full of misery for being up at such a God forsaken time, he tells me if I want to go run I can. He remembered my minor meltdown last night about how fat I am and how I have no time whatsoever to exercise. I ask him, “really?” He nods in pain as the morning sun pierces through the curtains.
I start to walk off and Leif freaks out. I can’t do it. I need to. I want to. But I can’t. I can’t leave Leif screaming for 30 minutes while AB tries to tune him out and sleep. I take Leif and tell AB to go back to bed which he does without hesitation. I am far too freaking nice. I am obviously a mom, will do anything for her kid, but neglects her own well being. I want harmony in my house and not a cranky, discontent spouse who was forced to get up.
People (Oprah) say that if you want to lose weight you will find time to exercise. If you don’t find the time to exercise you really don’t want to. Easy for someone who has never had a child to say. Exercise has always been a part of my life, until Leif. Now I do it when I can, which depends greatly on how Leif is feeling/acting.
I am up daily between 5am (if Leif wakes up then) and 5:30am (if Leif does not wake up I go out to run at 5:30am). I get back shortly after 6am and spend the next 45 minutes hanging out with Leif and doing sit ups and push ups. Do you know how hard it is to do sit ups with a 22 month old sitting next to you (raspberries on your belly and belly button searching and poking) or on you? At 6:45am, AB’s day starts as Leif and I do our best to roust him and get him moving to watch Leif while I get ready. Out the door at 8am where I work all day. Yes, I have down time at work that many SAHMs do not. I wolf lunch down at my desk so I can leave a half hour early to spend just a little more time with Leif in the evenings, or get a little overtime to make up for such and such the past week that I flexed. (Yes, I know… against the law here. I am “supposed” to take that 30 minutes off.)
I get home about 5:15pm on a good traffic day. I get the mail and we head out for our family walk with Winny. We walk about a half mile because Leif has a serious and strong aversion to strollers. He will not ride. We can get him in the stroller but then he screams “WALK” at the top of his lungs crying until we get back. Not a pleasant family walk and so he walks too. It is slow going.
We get back and one of us entertains Leif while the other cooks. We eat dinner as a family. After dinner we play a little, maybe outside, until 7:30pm. Bathtime. One of us does bath, while the other cleans the kitchen. At 8pm, one of us puts Leif to bed while the other picks up and does tomorrow’s chores (lunches made, coffee made, etc). At 8:30pm, we are dead, both of us.
Yes, I was complaining an eensy bit about AB and his need to sleep to start off this post. But damn I am lucky to have a husband who shares the chores as much as he does. He is so involved with Leif. At 8:30pm we plop on the couch where I read or flip through magazines while AB watches TV. Oh I watch too, but if I stop flipping through a magazine I fall asleep there on the couch.
Life is great. But fit in time for me to exercise please without taking away from my very little time with Leif. I am not complaining about being a working mom, I wouldn’t have it any other way. (Ok, so maybe I would work part time…) But tell me again how if I really wanted to work out I would make time for it. Go ahead, tell me. (Oprah bitch)
And this is why I was falling asleep in the seminar today.
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