Grumpy

I just had a meeting with a "furnishings specialist" here at the lab. (?!?!) Yeah, I didn't know that job title existed either. My manager's admin set it up because I have really, really sucky office furniture. It was the penance I paid when I got an office, my old manager refused to allow for "standard" furniture since (I believe) he felt backed into giving me an office so I had a place to pump since HR told him that telling me to buy a battery adaptor for my pump so I could pump in the bathroom was not acceptable. Anyways...

During my SDR meeting last week I complained to my new manager about my furniture. I wanted to complain about the office situation, but in my head, knew better. I knew the option would be to move to another offsite building, miles from here and drive back and forth to the labs I work in, instead of walk to the neighboring building.

Back to the furniture... I have a 1970's metal desk in my office that houses one computer, my laptop and printer. The other desk I have is akin to a Walmart special with a lower keyboard area. These came out when the concern of carpal tunnel syndrome became an issue and this is definitely a first generation "thing". This Walmart special desk gives me no room for anything to be spread out. My manager shared her woes of lack of overhead funds, but authorized the "furniture specialist" to try and find me something used that is a little more acceptable.

It still irks the crap out of me when I walk by a few offices with junior technicians, who have been here 1/3 the time I have and who have their own office and standard furniture. Not to mention that every new staff member in our group gets new standard furniture and anyone here a few years ago who wanted, got new furniture. Yet *I*, a "senior reseach scientist" can't seem to procure STANDARD office furniture. (Have I mentioned I landed a $1.8 million grant over four years?) Whatever.

So my meeting with the "furniture specialist" was at 1pm. I made it back to my office at 1:05pm. Yes, I forgot about this ultra-important meeting. Apparently, now I am paying and my requests for standard furniture have fallen on deaf ears. She was far and away the bitchiest person I have ever dealt with here at the lab.

She walks into my office and says "107". Not "Hi I am looking for...". I look at her and say "yes?" As in yes, this is office 107. She says rudely, "I am asking you where office 107 is." You are standing in it I tell her and get an eye roll in return. She complains about having to drive *all the way* out to this site, she has never been here before, etc. Give me a break, it's your freakin' job Miss Furniture Specialist.

She stank up my office with some nasty flowery perfume and stared at me like I was some juvenile delinquent and most definitely not worthy of her time. This is one "rate our service" follow up questionnaires that I will be all over when it appears in my mailbox. (And will probably mark me for life as being difficult.)

So what do I get for my troubles? The 1970's metal desk will be removed and replaced with a whopping 3 foot table and I get another small rolling file cabinet and she will "look into" a new bookshelf to hold all the stuff currently stacked on the desk. What a waste of my fricking time.

There is some part of me that is really looking forward to AB graduating and seriously seeking a position as an engineer elsewhere. I already know we will get no "official" assistance here. But I am in one of those moods today where I am looking forward to going into my manager's office and telling her I have an interview with some other group or company and here are the reasons why I am looking at leaving. There is nothing keeping me in this position right now.

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Ok, so I am obviously feeling the grumpies today. Chalk it up to a sick husband, not his fault, and a son who can't or won't sleep. Sitting with Leif at 4:40am I was near tears and started asking myself why I was so stupid as to think I am ready to start trying for a 2nd child. What if the second has Leif's same sleep issues (that AB also has and I suspect his mom as well). This is first and foremost among the reasons that I cannot even consider trying for another until I know that AB will be done with school by the birthdate, thus aleviating my guilt for asking him to get up with Leif (or another) in the middle of the night. I cannot do this by myself. I cannot go to bed only to get up an hour and a half later and sit up with screaming child for an hour. Go back to bed for 3:40 until child believes he needs to be up and watching the damn "Nemo moo-wee". And still head out to work for 8 hours and function adequately. Yes, he can sit there in his crib and scream until 5:30am. And he will given the opportunity. But then we don't sleep either and isn't that the point... I want sleep. At least I can snooze lightly through Nemo, mostly.

The details in case anyone has a winning suggestion... Leif (19 months) has no problem going to bed in his crib from wide awake state, even without me in the room. Thanks Sleep Lady. Most of the time he will sleep through the night. (For those of you with no kids, sleeping "through" the night is 6 hours or something ridiculous.) When he does wake up in the middle of the night (before 4am), 90% of the time he can be hushed back down. The other 10% of the time (like last night) is full on screaming. Then the morning wake ups. I can count on my hands the number of times Leif has slept past 6am. 6am is a perfectly acceptable wake up time as far as I am concerned. I can deal with that. I cannot deal with 4:40am. (Even if I didn't stay up until 10:40pm playing on the new computer.)

I would love ideas or suggestions. Please be explicit. And also know that if any of you out there with perfect children post in MY comments anything like hmmm... "Until my darling Elmo started sleeping through the night at 6 months we were up too and it sucked" you will be cursed!!