Why Halloween?

Skadi: "I will tell you how Halloween came to be mom. See boys like scary stuff. And Jesus was a boy. And so they made Halloween to make Jesus happy. Ok?"

Me: "Actually..." (Launch into Day of the Dead...)

Skadi: "Ok mom, you are weird."

Goals Wrap Up September, October Plans

Well I wouldn’t say that I hit it out of the field this month on my goals. Maybe a base hit? Ah well, I am not a baseball fan, so I should really lose the baseball references.
 

The goal for September was to select quilt pattern (check!), select fabric (check!) and get started on Skadi’s quilt. And yes, I did get started on it. I cut a few squares out. I would have probably gotten more than a “few” squares cut out if I didn’t have a little helper bee who wanted to cut the squares herself for her own quilt. And well, yes, I have to allow her / encourage her to be crafty and learn to sew as my mom did with me. So I let her cut some squares out. But man is it scary watching your child with a rotary cutter in her hand.
 

And this was where I stopped.
 

I just have this fear of even pulling the fabric out that she becomes a moth to the flame and has an insatiable need to cut out her own fabric.
 

I have been thinking about how to handle this… and first in my mind is to give her some fabric to cut and make a quilt out of alongside me. But I know my daughter. It isn’t the need to make a quilt that is causing this obsessive behavior. It’s the rotary cutter. And I can’t really blame her – they are the epitome of cool tools for the quilter. I find tremendous pleasure in my very neatly ordered stacks of fabric with the precision achieved only by the use of a rotary cutter. Nope, scissors won’t work.
 

So what I need in order to advance on this goal is a day at home without my daughter. I might be able to get the quilt cut out then. Then I could just battle her over the sewing machine…
 

So onto October! Hello one of my most favorite of months! The time when the weather cools and I get to wear my warm clothes again, cook yummy foods, enjoy the sounds of football in the background (because it is completely impossible for me to sit my butt in a seat and watch a game… if they were only 30 minutes, maybe.)

 

 

I suddenly have a number of things to hang on the wall. We have a print we bought near Mt. St. Helens. I want to relocate a metal art. And I have stacks of framed photos I want to shift around. And my foyer, office and dining room have no more prime wall space. I need to prep another wall!
 

So I am thinking I need to go small scale for October given my crazy October schedule – a trip to Reno, swimming lessons, Leif’s football, an itty bitty (but very important) surgery my husband is having (and he may disagree with me saying it is itty bitty…), me speaking at a local University to a women’s group – ah, the list goes on. Oh and not to mention that quilt is still on my to do list.
 

So my goal is to scootch the piano and sectional away from the walls they are residing on and paint said walls. Then scootch the piano and sectional back and hang some stuff on those two walls. It would be perfect for our Mt. St. Helens picture and might just also work for the metal art. Framed photos? Yeah, well maybe if I get these two walls done then I will have some clarity with the rest of the room. Or maybe it isn’t clarity I need… just motivation? (And money.)
 

Catching Up

I need some mental blogging capability. Because I really do enjoy blogging and love the journaling aspect. I really love flipping back to old blogs for reference (how big exactly were the older two at this age?) and when my kids are older I want to share some of the crazy things they did and said. In order to keep doing this, I need to keep blogging. And since adding hours in the day hasn’t panned out, maybe blogging mentally would work? I think about what I want to blog about and it just happens... someday it will be real.
 

Anyways, new fiscal year, let’s get it caught up and started out right.
 

Skadi: “Mom, pinky promise me you won’t tell dad?”
 

Me: “Ok.” (Crossing fingers because I tell AB everything.)
 

Skadi: “I have a boyfriend!!” Then she jumps up and down and squeals like the little girl she is!
 

Me: “Really!!” (Thrilled that she is telling me this and hoping she will continue to tell me these things as she gets older.) “What’s his name?”
 

Skadi: (Blank stare) “I don’t know that.”
 

----
 

Me: "Didn't you find your sweatpants in the dryer yesterday?"

Leif: "Yes, but they probably aren't there now."

Me: "Oh yeah, because our house elves came."

Leif: (eyeroll)

Minutes later the dishwasher is acting up.

Me: "Hans guess what you get to fit in today among everything else?"

AB: "Ugh."

Skadi: "What about the house elves?"

 

---
 

Girl Scout Coordinator to Skadi: "Would you like to join Girl Scouts?"



Skadi: "No I just want to buy cookies."

 

---
 

Daycare floater: “I have to tell you, I just love when I get assigned to Infant A because I know I get to go in and have Silas smile and laugh with me for at least some portion of my day. He makes my day.”
 

Awww!
 

Guilt and butterflies

I am lucky - I don't tend to have much mommy guilt. I have friends who do. Who feel very guilty about working or being away from their kids, etc. There are days I wish I was home with the kids. But for the most part I relish the fact that I have a job I really enjoy (for now), brings me a lot of satisfaction, pays me a nice wage and allows me loads of flexibility to be there for the kids when I want. I am truly lucky. Mommy guilt? Not much here.

But I do feel guilty about one thing.

This:

It might look innocuous enough. My son telling me that I make his heart flutter and saying he loves me. Sweet huh? And brings me loads of guilt.

See it is traumatic enough that I haven't talked about it since it happened. A few days before Mother's Day.

AB says I should have known what was in it! It's obvious right? "Flutter" and in a paper bag, must open it right now and not wait 2 days till Mother's Day. Oh and that they raised butterflies from caterpillars in class.

Duh, right?

Well I missed all the warning signs.

It isn't that I don't like butterflies. I do. They are beautiful. It isn't that I don't like gifts. I love gifts, particularly thoughtful ones from my son. It isn't that I don't like surprises. Well I don't really, but that isn't really the point.

Every year we raise butterflies from caterpillars at home. Then we release them.

Awww! My chunky baby girl with her flame red hair! Wow, how time flies. Anyways...

Note that is AB's hand. He reaches in and pulls the butterflies out. The kids play with them and when the butterflies get tired, they fly off.

 

Note that *I* am not in any of these pictures.

I stand safely behind the camera at a distance of about 5-6 feet away from the crazy fluttering that may ensue.

Oh and we love the Pacific Science Center's butterfly pavillion!

And I step gingerly inside with the fear that something like this may happen to me. And I might scream some. And please, please, please don't let me slap at it.

It's a location I probably shouldn't even visit. Because I have to supress that desire to squeal a little and flick something off me should it land on me. And I would probably hurt something like this:

Or this:

And then I would feel awful and they would probably kick me out.

So back to that paper bag that I should have known what was in it.

The freaking butterfly flew into my face and I screamed. And I panicked.

And Leif tried to calm me down - "it's ok mom, it's just my butterfly".

And he probably said something about having raised it from a baby caterpillar all himself.

And I shoo'd it out the door and off he flew.

There.

That's my mommy guilt.

Leif tells me it's ok now. He was maybe a bit sad about it at the time, he says. But he is fine now. The butterfly got released into the wild (neighborhood) and that is a good thing. Maybe it will have babies now?

But my guilt remains. It was his Mother's Day gift to me and I freaked. I should not have freaked. I must reign in this fear of fluttery flying things. Must do it before my daughter enters 2nd grade and brings her paper bag Mother's Day gift home. Or at least by then I will remember and it will be obvious when she brings home a bag of a butterfly.

For a little bit there I despised his teacher. How could she not warn us that a fluttery flying thing was coming into the house? But she is such a nice lady, I couldn't blame her for long.

Nope, this is the mommy guilt that *I* carry.

August 2013 Goals Wrap Up and Sept 2013 Goals

I hit it out of the park for August!

Of course I did set the bar pretty low - organize the school stuff drawer, the desk in the kitchen, and get the kids' school stuff together. Then organize a calendar that is easy to use and that I don't have to spend time rewriting each month.

And the chair bags. Sew two chair bags for my kids school stuff. I wanted bags to hang on the back of their chairs, in fabric they would each like (and therefore use). No more "mom, where did my homework go?" Nope, because when the table needs to be cleared, the unfinished homework could go in the chair bag. And there are pencils and scissors and erasers and crayons there ready access!

Ok, so it wasn't hit OUT of the park. But I hit a homerun at least.

Got the stuff organized, kids got their school supplies with 18 hours to spare, and I built an Excel color coded calendar that is super easy to update. (I love Excel.)

I thought I wasn't going to make it, then Silas had pink eye and needed to stay home. And then the internet went down preventing me from working from home during the afternoon nap. And that fabric stood there staring at me.

So I whipped them out.

I may have whipped too hard. I should have gone slower and actually measured, made a pattern or found one online.

They are done and functional. But don't look too closely at them!

What I would change? I would use some contrasting fabric. And I would measure. I didn't like the way they ended up hanging from the top of the chair, so I flipped the ties around to the side, even though they weren't really made for that. I used corduroy for Skadi's bag. Nice and durable and stiff. For Leif's I used regular cotton stuff. It's a bit flimsy.

But hey! They are done and functional and I didn't really make them as a style piece more than a functional piece. And functional they are!

August done!

I think maybe I wanted to embark on the Master Bedroom for September? Anyways, I can't remember. But I don't have it in me to do the Master Bedroom for September, both from a monetary perspective (stupid car and trailer repairs) and time.

Instead Skadi has been begging for her quilt. And she is tired of her Dora comforter. So my September goal is to at least start on her quilt. I am so pleased with the horribly expensive professional quilt job on our bed quilt, that I am even thinking about forking out the dough for long arm service on her quilt.

There, September goal set!

The one thing

I love being a mom. I actually even love being pregnant - the nausea IS temporary, I would go through 40 weeks of nausea for each of my kids. I love the birthing process. The newborn sleepies are awesome. The first smiles. 

The list goes on.

But the one thing that kills me... The one thing I cannot wait to be rid of?

Nursing bras! 

Gag. Beyond done with them. I swore with #2 that I would readily spend a small fortune on nursing bras that fit well. 

I have spent a small fortune. I have bought high end big names, low end cheapos, nearly every nursing bra I have come across I have tried.

 

I love nursing. I actually don't mind pumping so much. 

But I DESPISE nursing bras. 

Ok I am done. Back as you were. 

Goals!

I am thinking I am going to get back to the monthly goals things. I have always enjoyed this, I have a list of projects to complete and life is starting to settle down a bit since Silas’ arrival. So here goes!

 

August!

 

August will be organization month for school! Yay school! I will be so happy when I am no longer paying for summer camps for the kids. They love them really. We need them, because neither AB nor I are staying home. So it is a necessary evil, but bah. I am tired of hauling kids, wonky schedules, remembering to apply sunscreen and begging the kids to remember to apply sunscreen as well.

 

I have a few small tasks/chores to accomplish before school starts. This will be a good month for small baby steps since we have a crazy month of travel/camping/houseguests ahead of us.

 

Task #1 – Chair bags

 

You know how the kids do their homework at the table and then you have to eat there and you clear the table and then you hear, “mom, where did my homework go?”

 

I am going to fix that.

 

I bought fabric for each kid last spring – yellow with skulls for Leif and a crazy pink pattern for Skadi. But I didn’t get around to doing this while on maternity leave, then summer happened and I didn’t really need the bags, so it fell off my to do list. Basically each kid will have a bag that fits on their chair at the kitchen table. When we need to clear the table, their school work goes into the chair bag. Their library books are also going to go there. I am also going to step it up and put pockets on the front to house a few pencils and eraser for each kid, colored pencils and scissors. So that they don’t need to dig through the school supplies drawer in search of these things 142 times a day (see below).

 

Task #2 – School supplies drawer

 

Badly needs organizing since my kids think they need to dig into it 142 times a day (see above). Skadi will have fun though testing every.single.marker in that drawer to see which ones work and which ones don’t.

 

Task #3 – Calendar

 

I usually use these big Post It calendars to organize our month. But then I have to rewrite two a month – because I want one at work. And some things never change. I need a template in Excel. Must create one.

 

Then coming up? Master Bedroom and our Living Room!

 

Our Master bedroom has never been anything special – I don’t have a single thing on the walls even! We sleep there and store our clothes there. But now I have a new quilt I made that I love. And AB has made a bed – 75% complete and if I can ever decide what I want for a headboard, it might get to 90% complete. AB declares that he loves Silas’ bedroom. He goes in there and sits with Silas and finds it so tranquil. He attributes this to the paint color. We are going to paint our room the same soft toffee color. It will match the quilt perfectly. And I would love to figure out some storage options for that room. Problem is, I don’t even know what I need. But every flat surface we have becomes covered. I would like this to be our September task… but it might get pushed to November when I will have a week off work to really work it.

 

The Living Room is up there too. We are thinking new flooring – the Brazilian Teak we put in the office and formal dining room. Take out the nasty carpet and put the teak in there. Get a big rug then. I would love, love, love to replace our furniture. Move the sectional up to the playroom and get new furniture. But unless we get a windfall that isn’t happening. But a fresh coat of paint and some wall hangings would go a long way with the new floors. I have the paint color and everything – just extending the taupe from the foyer and the other two rooms. And I have one accent wall to do something fun with. Fun tbd!

 

But September might be devoted to the back yard. We may be ready to start pulling out the sod and putting in the start of our backyard seating/kitchen.

Catching Up

It’s been a busy, busy summer. Things have just started to slow down the past few weeks though. I had a few minutes and thought, “I should blog!” And immediately wondered… about what? Seems I may have forgotten how to blog? Yet, I love this form of journaling just to remember things, document my kids and connect with those people close to us (or not). So I guess I will just start an update of sorts and see where it carries us.

 

First child first – Leif

 

Leif is in his last week ever to be 8 years old. I loved being 8 years old. I fear that 9 years old is just a hop from being a tween. Leif is a fun kid, but very much a mama’s boy. He likes all things games – board games, electronic games, games, games, games. He loves the computer and the Wii and the Kindle. We bought him a Kindle for his birthday and I keep telling myself he can read on it! He will read on it! It will be fun and exciting and he will read on it! And just as a side note, he could do some games too. But mostly, he can read on it!

 

Yeah, we will see how that goes.

 

Skadi my lady

 

Six years old and going into 1^st grade! Like me, the child loves school. She was sad when kindergarten finished, despite it being a touch of a rough year (Skadi is destined to forever have issues with teachers I fear). And all summer she has been asking when she gets to go back to school. She is READY for first grade. I am really hoping that she gets the same teacher that Leif had and I even probably crossed the line when I filled out her personality sheet to assist in selecting a teacher and it says ALL over the thing I cannot request a teacher by name and I did. Or at least I wrote that we would very much appreciate a teacher with the same organized structure as Mrs. H. Or something like that. I have heard that those people who do go ahead and violate the rule and request a teacher, usually get it.

 

This summer Skadi is doing the summer camp circuit with her brother. She loves Adventure Camp at the health club. She really loved horse camp. She actually and amazingly enough, loved basketball camp through the city. She has loved everything this summer. This week the kids (and me) are getting a break though and they have a babysitter. Don’t all kids need to hang out at home and declare boredom repeatedly? Leif is loving it, but so far this is NOT shaping up as Skadi’s thing. She is a social beast and hanging out with her brother and babysitter are NOT exactly her idea of fun.

 

Silas Silas sweety pie

 

Yes, he really is rolling over front to back and back to front. And yes, I know this is really really early. When I posted this on Facebook I received some skepticism. But he does it with intent and consistency at home and daycare. Yes, according to the average baby stuff, he is about 3 months early with this milestone. Really I chalk it up to him being a third child who is very observant. He is absolutely bound and determined to keep up with his brother and sister. He likes sitting and laughing at them – and they like that too. But the real fun will be had when he can run off with them. Since hitting the rolling milestone at 3 months and 3 days (consistently) he has been working on toning his stomach muscles. He strains and struggles to sit himself upright whether he is on your lap, laying in a boppy or in his swing/bouncey seat. He also seems to know that in order to propel himself forward the knees need to come up. But his little arms don’t want to hold his body weight yet, so this just results in a face plant.

The new normal

I am back at work.

 

I am pretty sure I had about 10 weeks off, but right now it seems to be only a vague recollection. A blur. Where did it go?

 

Everyone was positive I was going to have the baby early. Even me. Though I kept in the back of my head how ironic if I were overdue with this one like I was with the other two. Well irony struck. I was tired and very pregnant and having contractions for about 3 weeks (one day I would be certain we were headed to the hospital in a few hours, and the next not a single contraction) before he came. When Silas was born I had been off about 2 weeks, which was really, really nice to have that time to myself.

 

The hardest part during that time was convincing myself not to respond to work stuff. I had a delegate for a reason. Then there was the dealing with people, which isn’t always my forte. My own kids wondered when the baby was going to come and it was a huge unknown to them. AB and I knew what to expect, basically, but conveying that to the kids just wasn’t working well. The baby was doing gymnastics and the kicks were visible and painful. The kids found it hilarious. I got tired of the hilarity. Then there is the other people outside my little family. The friend who asks, “are you sure you are having contractions?” The work stress – losing out on leading a major program because they needed someone “there”. (I get it, really I do, but it was stressful.)

 

Then we had the baby (see the birth story), but the complications didn’t stop there in our world. With the other two, the baby was born and we went home. With Silas, he was born and we stayed because of his multiple issues. The hardest thing about him not coming home was that AB used all his time off from work running kids around. He felt very gipped that he didn’t have that week home with Silas and me. I was a “boarder mom” and had food available to me and a bed and shower just down the hall from Silas. AB had to get the kids up and on the bus, feed them meals/make lunches and because they were also concerned and wanted baby and mommy time, he fielded them back and forth to the hospital daily. Then home for baths and bedtime. I was bored in the hospital, and AB was run ragged.

 

I was starting to feel gipped in many ways too. I felt like my maternity leave was slowly dripping by, no one was going to extend it because the first nearly 1/6 of it in my mind, “didn’t count”. I didn’t get those first pictures of him straight after birth (or even days later) on my chest. Then the first few weeks of photos after he got home were icky as his face was all marred up from the tape they used to tape the tubes in place. If we went out (even just to the doctor’s offices), people glared at me and asked what happened to his face, did he get scratched already? They softened dramatically when I would explain it was a reaction to the tape from the tubes he had in his throat. And even when we were barely keeping heads above water going through things we didn’t anticipate, we had the people factor. The person who the “exact same thing happened to them” - or so they say, but they don’t really listen to hear that it isn’t “the exact same thing”. Or the person who thinks you aren’t doing things just right. Or the person who acknowledges that their situation was completely different, but I should make sure that I do X, Y and Z. (And maybe only Y is semi-applicable.) Or the people who don’t read. The ones I texted or e-mailed that it was a bad day with the baby in the NICU and they would reply, “glad to hear everything is going well!!!” (Two of those.)

 

A few years ago a friend of mine had twins who went into the NICU. I don’t remember why, but he had stopped by the house a day or two after they were born to get something I was loaning him. I had packaged up our leftover soup from dinner (Chicken enchilada soup with all the fixings) and sent it with him. For months after his girls were home he raved to me about that meal, how I didn’t know how helpful that was and how good it tasted after all the hospital and fast food they had recently.

 

Now I know how helpful it was. Should I ever (and I am sure I will) know someone with a baby in the NICU, I will provide a meal during that time. It was so generous of people to provide meals to us and it was nice to have them when I was home. But the value of having food for AB and the kids when I wasn’t there, that he didn’t have to fix was tremendous. Once I was home we could work together to get meals. It was so much harder when AB was shouldering everything for 5 days.

 

We got home and I went into my reclusive self. I would get up and get the kids ready and on the bus. And then I would spend the day with Silas, watching TV, napping, doing laundry, doing little projects around the house… Occasionally I would have people stop by to hold Silas and visit. It was always welcome, but as a recluse I found it a bit stressful by myself. I would have to make myself presentable – harder than I had remembered with my other two! Pick up the house a bit. And get Silas ready. With a newborn it just takes longer to do everything. I had a few people drop by during those first few weeks and I tried to be thankful that people cared and wanted to see us, but I would find myself fuming because I didn’t really want my secret out that I spend an hour (or so) in the morning in my pajamas with a baby stuck on top of me and watching Downton Abby!

 

We did get into a groove and I quit napping – knowing that my leave would be coming to an end and napping at work is generally frowned upon.

 

I even managed to get me and the other two kids out of the house on a semi-regular basis.

 

I formed an addiction to Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. And Great Harvest Cinnamon Burst bread.

 

I wandered Target constrained only by how long my baby would sleep.

 

I spent Fridays with my husband and no children who could speak.

 

I ate at nice restaurants for lunch on Fridays with my husband – places we could only take a newborn.

 

I let the umbilical cord to my other two stretch some by letting them go to the bus stop by themselves.

 

I didn’t read. Well much anyways. I am a reader, but for some reason reading wasn’t appealing to me while I was on leave. It would have required I take my eyes off my newborn. And that wasn’t happening.

 

I didn’t check my work e-mail. I had permission to do so, but I resisted for the most part.

 

I made homemade cookies a lot.

 

(And I ate a lot of homemade cookies. )

 

I snapped 87923 photos of my newborn. At least. Maybe more.

 

I may have forgotten I had pets that also wanted attention. Poor pets.

 

Camping Trip #2 2013

Time has flown.

 

During my maternity leave I kept intending to go blog. And then I would get stuck under a sleeping baby. And do you know how hard it is to move when you are stuck under a sleeping baby?

 

Before I wrap up a big post about my 10 weeks off, I thought I would do a quick short one about camping. But if you know me, you know that I don’t write anything quick and short. Anyways… you can deal or navigate away.

 

We have gone out on two camping trips this spring so far. The first one was our shakedown trip for the year at a nearby site. What all have we forgotten? What works in the trailer? What needs fixed? Oh and how will a 6 week old infant handle camping?

 

The answers? We had forgotten a lot – topping the list was dish soap and cheddar cheese. Dish soap to leave in the trailer. Cheddar cheese, not to leave in the trailer, but really, how could I forget my daughter’s main source of calories? Post-partum brain is how…

 

What works in the trailer? Most everything except for that broken propane hose… yes, seriously.

 

How was it camping with a 6 week old? Fine. We worried a lot about where he would sleep. I didn’t really want him in the bed with us as it is mushy, uneven (because AB and I like different thicknesses of foam) and small compared to our king at home. But we weren’t sure how the pack and play would work, would he get cold? Wouldn’t you know that I have a shelf right next to my side of the bed and the “newborn napper” insert from the Pack and Play fits absolutely perfect? See picture.

 

 

So we ventured further away on this last trip out. The Tucannon. We really love this area and have camped there about 4 times in the few years that we have had our trailer. The kids love fishing and catching trout there, AB enjoys fly fishing (I do too), and we like the fact that we are in National Forest land and can camp anywhere, have few rules and regulations to adhere to, it doesn’t cost anything and there is a lot of wildlife (deer, wild turkeys, osprey…).

 

We planned for a very low key trip and upon arriving AB scouted an area and set up “hammock village”. Last year I bought AB an ENO hammock for Father’s Day. He never got to use it. Ever. Our kids adopted it. So Leif got a hammock for his birthday and he spent many camping trips laying in the hammock reading, what could be better? Oh but then Skadi immediately started complaining that she had no hammock. Guess what she got this spring for her birthday? Three ENO hammocks and three sets of slap straps. Hammock village. It would have been a whole lot nicer though if it weren’t for all the mosquitos, ticks and horse flies. Skadi and AB seem to be fairly immune to biting bugs. But not Leif and I. He and I are the only ones who have had ticks this year and were swarmed by the mosquitos and horse flies. Not so much fun. Skadi and AB aren’t bothered by them and Skadi managed to walk away from the trip with one bindi-like mosquito bite in the middle of her forehead (or her “twohead” as she still calls it because I can’t bring myself to tell her it is actually a forehead now that she isn’t two anymore) and one big huge swollen horse fly bite on her thigh that she hasn’t batted an eyelash at. Leif and I didn’t fare so well.

 

The bugs drove Silas and I inside the trailer much of Saturday, while AB flyfished the river 100 feet from our trailer, and the kids alternated between being inside and playing outside. We bought a new game based off recommendations from two sets of friends, Sleeping Queens. Love that game. Both kids really got into it and it is fun for adults as well. Highly recommend it.

 

At one point Skadi was in with me, while Leif was outside and she admitted something – she wanted to learn to play chess. So we set up the board and she and I played… until Leif came in and ruined it for her by telling her what to do… typical brother!

 

One treat for the kids while camping is TV series shows. Our trailer doesn’t have a TV. We didn’t want a TV earlier when we bought one. (Our next trailer will have a TV.) But we have a makeshift TV. I bring the laptop, we keep an old flat screen monitor that we can hang up in the TV alcove and I download TV shows we ALL enjoy. One of the family favorites is Modern Family, the kids love it and get only 10% of the humor and bonus it has been an easy way to teach inquisitive minds about different types of families (gay, multicultural, regular old nuclear). Last summer the kids watched The Last Airbender series in the trailer. This year it is Legend of Korra. AB and I watched Breaking Bad last year (in and out of the trailer) and are presently evaluating options for this summer, Homeland is leading.

 

We love our trailer and enjoy having our own home away from home. I have enjoyed making it ours. It dawned on me on our first trip out this year that we really needed hooks. Then I remembered those Command hooks and how perfect they would be! I put hooks up all over the trailer last weekend and it worked so well I am buying another large pack for the next trip. It drives me up the wall how stuff gets thrown on the floor – and it isn’t all just laziness on the part of everyone but me in the trailer. There just isn’t a good place to put say sweatshirts that you don’t want to go into the laundry bag. We are always losing keys and dog leashes. Not anymore! Well not anymore, if I can get a certain person to use said hooks for said items.

 

I have an addiction to Target and may or may not have a weakness with the $1 bins. They had a camping section in the $1 bins a few weeks ago and I may or may not have gone nuts there. But seriously, tiny little towels? Can’t live without them. Then I found these little “survival kits” on lanyards. Most of the plastic crap I buy in the $1 bins is pretty worthless. Not these.

 

When AB was about Leif’s age he got lost in the woods. And scared. Well he doesn’t say he was scared, but I can tell it scared him because he mentions it a lot. And it scares me to think of my kids wandering off in the forests. The survival kits are on lanyards they wear around their necks, they have a whistle, a compass, a sparker (and yes, it works to make a fire, AB proved it could be done), a “dry” container to house a few matches. The most valuable part in my mind, is the whistle. But anyways, the kids LOVE those lanyards. I hung them on a hook (yay hooks!) by the door and they kids grabbed them whenever they went outside. Someday maybe knowing they have whistles on them, I may give them a longer lead to wander…

 

We saw a lot of deer this time out and had one deer that was pretty bold. It kept venturing into our campground with us sitting there and our two dogs off leash. The dogs stayed under the trailer growling, which became AB’s sign that the deer was in the campground. The kids LOVED watching the deer. We had the bow and arrows out and the kids immediately thought it would be a good idea to try and get the deer… don’t worry, we told them no.

 

On Sunday after the kids had a taste of trout that AB had caught, they decided they needed to catch their own. We packed up and headed to one of the many stocked lakes. I nursed Silas in the car while AB took the kids over to the lake, then came back to get the second load. All of a sudden Skadi is screaming, “MOM, DAD!”

 

We headed over to see her standing there with the net and a good sized fish flopping inside it! Leif had thrown his line in the water and caught a rainbow trout nearly immediately. He calmly and rationally got his sister to net the fish for him! We had a fun couple hours fishing. AB helped the kids and took care of Silas while I fished with the fly rod – I had a few bites but didn’t bring any in. Skadi fished for a few minutes every 20 minutes or so – focus is not there yet, though desire to catch a fish is. Leif caught a second fish, which thrilled him completely. His goal for the weekend was accomplished.

 

 

He outfished AB.

Three

When I had Leif I mourned passing time. It made me sad when he lost his newborn look, then when he was a toddler and not a baby, you get the idea.

People like to tell parents of newborns to enjoy this time as it passes so quickly. I am sure I have done the same. But right now I find that statement annoying.

As a mom of three I know very well how quickly time flies. But beyond that I have a new outlook with number three. I love having a newborn. But I know from experience that all the best is yet to come. It only gets better as you see them learn to do things for themselves, they learn to read, they make friends, they discover what they love.

Babies are awesome. But there is so much more to look forward to.

Well Children

Quick post for tracking purposes:

Silas:

Born: 8 lbs 11 oz, 20.5"
Left Hospital 4 days later: 8 lbs 2 oz
7 Days Old: 8 lbs 4 oz
9 Days Old: 8 lbs 6 oz, 21.5" (Length 98th percentile, Weight/Length Ratio Percentile 4th)
13 Days Old: 8 lbs 15 oz
15 Days Old: 9 lbs 3 oz, 22" (70th percentile and 90th percentile)

Skadi:

Age 6 years 1 month well child visit 4/25/13
Weight 45 lbs - 50th percentile
Height 44" - 37th percentile

Money, it's what I want... or not

One area my two kids are so completely opposite is their treatment/need for money.

Since Leif was very young he has seen value in money. The kid gets a dime and holds tight to it. We used to tell him to save his money for something he would like to buy. He just saves his money. The only thing he wants to buy is more money, so when a game my Dad bought for him (Fortune Street) introduced the concept of buying stocks and he learned that it is really something you can do - make your money grow by investing it - he was all over it.

He has his own Sharebuilder account and keeps track of it.

Skadi is the complete opposite. Can't hold on to a dime to save her life. Part of this I blame on Leif at an early age. She would offer him money and he would take it. We finally had to institute a rule, "your sister does NOT need to pay you off!"

But still, money? In one hand, out her other.

She came home one day with a "Pennies for Patients" box from school and an intense obligation in her heart to fill the thing to the brim.

I tried to stop her, "honey, you don't need to fill the ENTIRE box, maybe you should keep some of your change?" And she looked at me completely perplexed. And I thought about it. What does she do with her money? Nothing. Lose it?

"Nevermind," I said, "if you want to empty your piggy bank into the box, that is fine."

And she did. Then she went to my change jar and filled up the remainder with change from my jar because she couldn't possibly take the box in 2/3 full when there are sick kids who need the money.

Leif came home and threw his box to the side. I thought about pushing him to donate some change, but then I hefted the box that Skadi had filled and didn't pursue it further.

Sunday school has started introducing the notion of the tithe with the kids. AB and I give to our church and feel this is an important aspect of our attendance and following. We are supportive of this with the kids. Most Sundays Skadi is scrambling for change to take for her offering. While Leif looks at us and rolls his eyes, "give money? Why?" Then he rolls them at his sister for even bringing the topic up.

The other day Leif announced that he thought he would like to use some of his money to buy Skylanders for the Wii. Again my first impulse was, "really, you want to spend $50 on that?"

Then AB looked at me. This was a first. We are thinking this is about the first time leif has willingly taken his own money and spent it on anything for himself. Yes, seriously. The kid is patient and will wait until his birthday or Christmas and then ask for the coveted item. And if he doesn't get it, he moves on.

Skadi on the other hand... one of her grandpas sent her $10 for her birthday. That $10 is burning a big huge and ugly hole in her pocket. My recent willingness to go stroll around Target has been about nill since reaching 38-39 weeks pregnant since the $10 bill came in the mail. And this is REALLY cramping her style. She has $10!!! There are TOYS to buy!

I keep reminding her not to lose it as when it is gone, that is it.

"Mommy, if you have to go to the hospital tonight to have the baby, will you take my $10 and keep it safe?" she asked me.

The nicest people in the world

Sadly, I am not one of them.

But you know those people - the ones that are just so nice and kind and generous with their time, money, career, etc.? Those of us who don't fit into that mold tend to wonder if it is for real. Well it is. Because no one not genuine could maintain that facade for long, I am convinced.

My ob is one of those people. I, on a rare occasion, have seen glints of frustration as he has come from another room containing a "wimpy" patient. But 99.5% of the time that I have known him, nicest person in.the.world.

I see these women walk into his office, hugely pregnant, finishing the last drag on their cigarette outside before setting foot in the office (but hovering with the door open), hauling their strung out looking boyfriends/husbands who are wearing pajama pants with them, cussing up a storm. And I cringe.

And then I hear him in the room with them next door, full of compassion and kindness. And I feel guilty.

I couldn't do that. I know a little about his history from the occasional friendship we have forged outside of the office. His passion in life is treating not women like me (educated, able to support ourselves), but poverty level women with few options in life. In addition to his MD, he has a Masters in Public Health and has a keen understanding of how the care (or lack of) a woman receives in her doctor's office translates to her acceptance in social situations and her ability to raise her family. He hopes to retire from his practice soon (has scaled it back to 2 days a week in the office presently) and move to Central America and practice medicine among the third world inhabitants there.

I wanted to go to medical school once. And each time I have been in a hospital be it for birthing my kids or having my gall bladder out I have wistfully wondered what it would be like to be a physician and have longed for that experience of walking through the halls of a hospital. I wanted to be a nurse until I was about 5 when my nurse grandmother said, "you don't want to be a nurse, you want to be a doctor!"

I had a stint in there where I wanted to be an astronaut. Then a teacher. But for the vast majority of my school life I wanted to be a doctor. I scored very average on the MCAT. I worked in a doctor's office for 5 years. I had an "in" to the local med school through my college employer (a dermatologist) who was also a professor at the medical school one half day a week.

Then I dumped it all and went to grad school.

I wanted to be a plastic surgeon actually. While in college I would fill in with one of my doctor's good friends when he was short staffed in his Reconstructive Surgery office. I loved it. But wow it seemed like a long haul. Medical School, Surgical Residency, Plastic Surgery Residency...

I told AB about how I noted that I just did not have what it took to do what my ob does every day. See these women and be compassionate about their situation, when I would really just want to slap them upside the head. I would be the most frustrated person around.

"But you would have never gone into obstetrics," AB said the other night. "You would so be spending your days doing boob jobs intermingled with the occasional pro bono case! You would still have your wackos to deal with, they would just be different wackos."

He is right. It's dang good I went into research and not medicine because I do not regularly have to work with wackos at all this way.

And it isn't just in medicine where you find these nicest people ever. I truly have some of the nicest friends ever. And I wonder what it would take - how they do it? If they don't have that same voice in their head that I do?

Well, I guess it is something for me to work on.

After I birth this baby, because right now it just isn't in me!

All the "holiday" flap

A few of my Facebook friends have recently posted links to blog posts with titles like "Can we tone down the holidays, please?" and other things of that nature.

It's March, Easter is coming up, if you don't have kids in school you may wonder what the big deal is. So here it is... St. Patrick's Day. Once a day when you just made sure your child (ok me, I was that age) wore green when they walked out of the house so they don't get pinched? Now a holiday. Not a holiday in that kids are out of school, but a big celebration with green food, Leprechaun trap building, etc. Then there are the complaints of what some kids are handing out for Valentine's Day - fancy little bags of goodies instead of just a card. Take it back another few weeks to Christmas and everyone points to the "creepy" new tradition of Elf on the Shelf. Some have even started complaining about Advent calendars - which are not a new thing and I loved mine as a kid.

Well I have already blogged about the supposed "creepy" Elf on the Shelf. Basically we bought it and love it and don't find it creepy - which seems to be the key word people use who don't buy in. "It's creepy."

I am a big fan of holidays. Love them. In today's day and age with so much crummy news and things we need to shelter our kids from, I am all for embracing the fun and frivolty of a handful of days a year to celebrate random things.

We aren't really Irish, though the red hair tricks many. More Scandinavian and my red hair (hence my kids' as well) comes from my Swedish grandmother. But St. Patty's day? It's a hit here. The kids love corned beef, which I fix once a year on March 17th. They love building leprechaun traps and they get more elaborate every year. This year my son's was rigged with motion sensors - making things pretty interesting...

Fun. It's all it is.

We pick and choose with holidays. I get tired of all the freaking candy at holidays and my personal annoyance is when every holiday becomes a gift giving occasion. My kids get "presents" on their birthdays and Christmas. For Easter they will get small little things I don't think of as presents out of the dollar bins in their baskets - chalk, jump rope, a stuffed rabbit (for Skadi). For Valentine's Day, my daughter got a pink teddy bear, because she loves that stuff (and her chocolates still sit untouched). I don't have time to spend hours working on Valentine's, so my kids picked out the ones with a card and a piece of candy attached. And so far - neither the nearly 6 year old or 8 year old has complained at all. I like to think they know better.

Back to my point... the blog posts asking to scale back the holidays.

You don't like it? Don't do it! Quit succumbing to parental peer pressure and the assumption that if it is posted on Pinterest that "everyone" else is doing it and your child will feel left out if they don't have baggies of rainbow licorice and gold coins for St. Patty's Day. Your kids will deal.

St. Patty's day? I cooked dinner. My kids built their traps themselves (ok, dad couldn't resist in helping Skadi incorporate her ceiling fan into hers) as they have been doing since they were 3 years old in preschool with access to paper and tape. And that was that.

And you know what, if my children EVER complained that they don't get to do all the stuff their friends do they will get a stern lecture.

My son at chess club (over Christmas) told one of his friends about the underwear episode with our Elf, Mina. (Mina decorated the untrimmed tree with his underwear.) The boy told his mom in my presence and she looked at me, rolled her eyes (not in a horrible way, we have been acquainted for 1.5 years now through the boys) and said, "oh you are one of THOSE moms."

Yes, I am one of those moms who loves to have fun and do silly things with my kids that make them laugh and adds to their magic of the holidays. That when they are 28 will look back and laugh and say to me, "mom, do you remember when you, I mean the Elf, decorated the tree with my underwear?"

Yep, I am one of those moms.

My daughter's clothes

A huge issue.

A way too big of an issue, IMO.

One similarity with Skadi and I is that when I was 5, I wore only dresses too. I had some weird and irrational thought that if I wore pants, someone might think I was a boy. I had long hair. I didn't look like a boy. But I was POSITIVE that someone would think me a boy.

When I was very little - probably around three - my dad's mom bought me a pair of cowboy boots. But she poisoned them. She poisoned them because she said "cowboy boots!" Not cowgirl boots. I still remember screaming my head off and my mom hissing through her teeth at me that I WOULD try them on for her one way or another. It was horrible. My feet were poisoned by boy shoes.

Skadi has these same delusions, sort of, at least. With footwear, she is all about comfort and one of her recent favorite pairs of shoes was a pair of brown hand me down Keens from her brother. I have no idea.

But not only does she want to wear a dress daily, but she adds her own flair to her style.

And it is the flair that she and her kindergarten teacher may come to blows over.

I am pretty sure her kindergarten teacher has labelled me as one of *those* parents. At Skadi's fall conference she mentioned one instance regarding the "class t-shirt" and it not being her issue.

The Class T-Shirt. So the deal is that at the beginning of the year the teacher requested we send in a white t-shirt for our kids that would be decorated in all the same way to give the class a consistent and fun look for field trips, group pictures, assemblies, etc. "The kids are just so cute in them!" She proclaimed!

Great!

Except Skadi HATES hers. Despises it.

So Skadi came home last fall with a sticker instructing the kids to wear the t-shirt the next day. And she refused. Wanted nothing to do with it. Since Skadi goes to morning care and I feared it being taken off and left somewhere (since a pink t-shirt underneath is mandatory in Skadi world) - I don't know, stuffed into some drawer or down the toilet at her morning care? I put it in her backpack and sent an e-mail to her teacher explaining that Skadi didn't want to wear it, it is in the backpack, hopefully when she sees the other kids wearing theirs, there will be positive peer pressure and she will want to put it on.

Well at conferences I was told that was out of line and not a teacher issue, not for them to deal with, it was up to me to get her in the t-shirt, her job is to teach.

Actually I disagree a bit. The Class T-Shirt is not part of a uniform that I agreed to. It was a request by the teacher that she wear this t-shirt. Therefore, your request, your problem. Not to be a complete bitch about it or anything, really. But I was rather annoyed.

That hasn't been the end of The Class T-Shirt. Skadi still despises it and on the days before she is supposed to wear it the teacher puts a sticker on the kids' shirt on their way out the door for the day reminding parents.

Any guesses where those stickers go?

I have no flipping idea because I don't see them! So instead Skadi ends up being the only child not in a matching t-shirt on a regular basis. I do have a secret weapon - friends. I have enlisted a parent friend from the class to let me know when her son comes home with a sticker to wear the special shirt.

But seriously, a battle where I am left shaking my head "why?!"

As I mentioned earlier Skadi has her own flair. She loves wearing a tiara daily. She loves pink. She loves dresses. And she prides herself on her clothing "creations". She argues about what matches and what doesn't. She is a clothing centric child. I was not. I like nice clothing and like shopping for clothes (this she got from me), but I don't push the syle boundries.

One day I got an e-mail home citing a school dress code violation. I was perplexed. I looked at my daughter. She was wearing a dress that she has owned for two years, wore to her grandfather's wedding and wears nearly once a week. And now... out of the blue... a dress code violation? Despite the fact that she had a sweater on covering the bare shoulders each day, it was cited that she wore sleeveless dresses two days in a row. (The previous day she did have a halter dress on, but wore a jean shirt/cardigan/light jacket over it.) If this was a problem, why wasn't it brought to my attention when she wore it first and not after 25 times? How do I explain to my daughter that I know it was ok last week when  you wore the dress, but now it isn't?

Skadi gets it I think - and it may sound awful - but I blame her teacher. "Remember Mrs. W said you can't wear dresses without sleeves?" But you know? It works. And there is no battle. And she willingly changes to abide by Mrs. W's rules.

The other day Skadi wore a long flowing maxi-style skirt that she loves. Apparently when running on the playground she tripped on the dress and it ripped. Badly. Skadi came home in a pair of humongous sweat pants. I e-mailed her teacher acknowledging the rip and thanking her for loaning her a pair of sweat pants.

I kind of expected an e-mail back saying, "you're welcome".

Not surprisingly the e-mail back to me was not a "you're welcome" but instead said that she wouldn't need the pants if she would quit wearing long dresses and skirts and recommended that maybe if I let Skadi pick out a pair of sparkley pants that she wouldn't feel so compelled to wear dresses all the time.

I didn't respond. Because if you don't have anything nice to say...

I thought pretty strongly about snapping a picture of my daughter's pants collection - the pink jeans, the cheetah print jeggings, the pink cheetah print jeans, the yoga pants, pink fleece pants... - and sending that off.

But I resisted. I may have cursed a bit, felt as though I was being judged as a mom, wondering if she had even MET my daughter... oh wait, those e-mails about my daughter's stubborn nature recently... maybe she had met her once.

I came to a conclusion the other day... I continually get notes about Skadi's lack of progress when tested linked to her refusal to do simple tasks... apparently she only knows 5 letters, for example. (Yet she can write her and her brother's full names and most of her sight words...)

Maybe if the teacher quit worrying about and focusing on my daughter's clothing, she could focus on teaching my daughter?

Influential to Me

So my last post was about influential music as a whole. A lot of it isn’t my style. I am not a Beatles fan (I know, sacrilege), not a big country fan (which is why I couldn’t list a single Garth Brooks album, but knew he needed to be there). So I got to thinking, what is MY most influential music? What music through my 40 – some years has moved me?

 

A lot comes from my parents and then from people around me. In this list I am painting a broader stroke and not listing the albums necessarily, maybe they are bands, or individual songs. Here it is… my list of 50 influential to Nuclear Mom music (attempting to hit these somewhat chronologically - honestly because it is easier that way):

 

Musical Foundation – The 70’s

Ted Nugent – Cat Scratch Fever (my first “favorite” song – I am sure this is courtesy of my dad)

Bert and Ernie’s Greatest Hits (And I have this cd for my kids too.)

Rolling Stones

Led Zeppelin

Janis Joplin (my mom’s favorite when I was a kid)

Bob Dylan (still resides in my top 5)

Donna Summers

The Bee Gees

Willie Nelson

John Denver

Childhood – Basically the late 70’s and early 80’s

Grease, The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Joan Jett and the BlackHearts – (a female hard core musician!)

Billy Idol – Rebel Yell

Squeeze – Black Coffee in Bed (the first video I saw on MTV)

Meat Loaf – Bat out of Hell (“On a hot summer’s night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”)

Pink Floyd – The Wall

The Stray Cats

Junior High – 80’s at its best

Pretty in Pink Soundtrack (worn out, thoroughly worn out)

Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill

Prince and the Parade

The Cure

Michael Jackson (oh how embarrassing…)

High School – a switch out of the main stream

Bad Religion

Social Distortion

Elvis Costello

English Beat

Blondie

The Ramones

The Clash

Black Flag

The Descendents/All

Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bullocks

The Vandals

Dirty Dancing (shhh… don’t tell my friends)

Michelle Shocked – Short Sharp Shocked

The Church

Tracy Chapman

The Doors

College/Grad School – quality music/talent

Richard Thompson

Nancy Griffith

Joe Jackson

The Cranberries – Everybody Else is Doing It

The Best of Gil-Scot Heron

Marc Cohn

Ray Charles

Soul Coughing

Miles Davis

Grateful Dead

Johnny Cash

Dave Matthews

Jack Johnson

What's Influential?

A friend of mine on FB recently took an “Influential Albums” quiz – see how many of these most influential 100 albums you own type of thing. Since I trust his musical tastes – I jumped on it too. Then I suspect that others who maybe trust(ed) my musical taste took it too. And for that I should apologize. It was horrible. Awful. Really?

 

Of course this then begs the question of what is my list? For me then, I have to define “influential”. An influential album (according to the NM-ipedia) changed the course of music, defined a genre, was copied by others (and those others also made money/benefited from that trail blaze), and has (can be somewhat debatable) staying power – i.e., the music still sells. And you know what? I don’t have to like the music. Like Garth Brooks, really don’t care for him. But cannot deny the man is not influential!

 

So in no particular order here's my 50:

 

Led Zeppelin, Zeppelin IV

Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks

Grateful Dead, American Beauty

Nirvana, Nevermind

Metallica, Master of Puppets

Metallica, And Justice For All

Ray Charles, The Genius of Ray Charles

Sex Pistols, Never Mind the Bullocks

The Cure, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues

Madonna, Like a Virgin

Michael Jackson, Thriller

Pink Floyd, The Wall

Rolling Stones, Beggar’s Banquet

Rolling Stones, Sticky Fingers

Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed

Beatles, Abby Road

Beatles, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band

Beatles, Let It Be

Heart, Dreamboat Annie

Simon and Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Patsy Cline, Showcase

Janis Joplin, Pearl

Grease, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

James Taylor, Sweet Baby James

Beastie Boys, Licensed to Ill

Run-DMC, Raising Hell

Tracy Chapman, Tracy Chapman

Willie Nelson, Always On My Mind

The Clash, London Calling

Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run

U2, The Joshua Tree

Marvin Gaye, What’s Going On

David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust

Elvis Costello, My Aim is True

Elvis Presley, Elvis Presley

Robert Johnson, King of the Delta Blues Singers

B.B. King, The Blues

Miles Davis, King of the Blues

Joni Mitchell, Blue

Aretha Franklin, I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You

Blondie, Parallel Lines

James Brown, Live at the Apollo

Jimi Hendrix, Are you Experienced

Prince and the Revolution, Purple Rain

The Ramones, The Ramones

The Who, My Generation

Paul Simon, Graceland

48 Garth Brooks, (I have no idea which album is considered his most influential honestly…)

Black Flag, Damaged

REM, Automatic for the People

This I love

When I was a kid my mom would let me play in the kitchen and invent my own recipes. Skadi has taken this on.

This is her recipe for her first invention - "Chocolate Fluffy Puff". It is especially neat for her as her brother likes it and requests she make it for her regularly.

I like it because it has seriously upped my kids' milk intake.

Simple, not terribly original, but very cool for a kindergartener. And I am putting away the recipe card.

Recipe: Chocolate Fluffy Puff
From: Skadi

Pour milk in a cup.
Put a scoop of chocolate in it. (We use Ovaltine.)
I stirred it good.
Milk frother it.

(The key component to this recipe is the milk frother. A little <$7 gadget I grabbed at Ikea to froth my milk for my coffee. So I rarely use it. It is getting a run lately as Skadi froths a half a glass of milk to the top. Cool stuff!)