Four and a bit more

Now Silas is four. Isn't there a poem or something that starts that way? Actually he has been four for two months now.

We have had some pretty miraculous changes on his part in last two months. One day he realized he was now four, and that means he is a big boy and that he was going to behave like one. This has resulted in a huge change in him at daycare and at home. All changes that have been very welcome. Being kicked out of daycare is no longer an everyday concern. Now that said I am still counting down the weeks until he leaves daycare and gets to attend public school.

I am thrust into the new generation of parents through daycare and thus work - several of the younger people I work with have their first child at the same daycare. And I see myself 12 years ago. And then I see how very differently I view things now. I want to tell them that THIS daycare, this particular beacon of light in your world? Not the be all end all and not in control. You are.

I would rate Silas' daycare at about a 6 out of 10. His lead teacher is tired (one of the few who was there when my older kids were), prefers he not be there more than absolutely necessary, isn't pushing academics (though he is showing great interest at home). The second teacher is wary, a bit cranky given she isn't even a year on the job, not her ideal job, doesn't smile much. But she is nice and has some fun ideas. The third teachers - are the amazing ones. But they are still new with aspirations and dreams of making a difference in a kids eyes. And, they do. Silas adores every single "third" teacher he has had over the last year. (There has been several...)

Silas... he is a very different kid as compared to the other two. He looks like them and the similarities stop there.

1. Silas eats everything. He discovered lettuce in the garden yesterday and devoured much of it. He can't wait for the carrots to pop up. He tried daikon yesterday and didn't like it, but was able to tell us why he didn't like it, "it spiced my tongue too much". Leif is emerging from his picky stage. Skadi is beyond hope - though she DID eat a single strawberry on her own accord last weekend. Silas has moments of picky, but for the most part he eats what we put in front of him particularly if it is a simply prepared fruit or veggie. His down side? Where we start really questioning his being a Carman? He doesn't like fish. I mean WTF? Never in my life would I have thought that I would have a child that didn't like fish.

2. Silas loves books. Thank you, thank you, thank you. He likes to read, he will pick up a book and flip through it and "read" to himself. Working hard to ensure this is a quality that stays with him.

3. Inquisitive. "Mom, how do you spell [insert long word or phrase]." Ok, so all my kids were inquisitive, but I don't recall any of my other two asking me how to spell something until the point they were writing for school. Some kids ask "why" incessantly? Not Silas, he wants everything spelled for him. (Weird... though I do recall quizzing my babysitters on whether they could spell Wyoming...)

4. Third child. My first two never said, "stupid". I just heard Silas say "stupid" twice while typing - regarding my hair dryer. I guess I am like his first teacher at school. My desire to fight his using the word stupid is waning. He watches cartoons and movies I am positive I never let my older two watch at this age... but it is freaking HARD to keep him separate from the other two when they are watching their shows. Silas has a play date today. Probably his first official play date. I invited the other boy to come over and knowing the parents a bit (knew the dad as a student intern ages ago and we have worked in similar spheres since), I suggested they drop him off and go have lunch or have an afternoon together. The boys will just play here! No dice, lol. He and his mom are coming over for the play date. Now my friends and I also did this, but it also usually involved a cocktail. Do I offer her a cocktail? Or a glass of wine? Or does that just further call into question my abilities? Silas is a pretty solo kid, he is king of imaginary play, hangs with his big sister a lot, runs the backyard by himself. I am suddenly freaking out and trying to recall how helicopter-ish I may or may not have been with Leif. Would I have been outside with him hovering over his play at 4? Oh this play date suggestion may have been a horrible idea.

5. Stats... I will have to add this in later this week after his well child... See bullet #4.  I will say though that I just bought him a bunch of size 4 clothes and was wishing I would have bought 5's.

6. Activities. Silas is chomping at the bit to do every organized activity. He starts piano lessons tomorrow. I am skeptical... but Leif's teacher wanted to try a new toddler piano program with Silas because he is very musically oriented (this teacher? The first Silas has had who sees his "genius", lol! Maybe for that I will pay him?? He probably tells all parents this...). Leif quit piano this month, and I felt a little guilty and would love to have a pianist in the family. So I bought the program and we will see if it works. Silas has suddenly excelled at swimming and AB said the other day that his teacher talked about skipping the next level with him and putting him in Level 3. We will see. He starts soccer in a few weeks - totally excited for that. And he is begging to start Tae Kwon Do with his dad and brother too. Trying to figure out how we are going to fit everything in.

All in all, Silas is an amazing and wonderful kid. He is smart, funny, expressive, and brings a huge amount of joy to the entire rest of the family. Can't imagine a world without him!

Silas Update (from September, never posted)

Silas is at that funny age where his memories are starting to form and he is defining his own world around him. He is nearly 3.5 and is a typical preschooler for the most part. A bit more intense than my other two were. And more so than many of the kids around him in preschool. He is intense and over the top, but loving and snuggley and caring.

It is really fun to see his world evolve around him and him act as an independent participant in the world we are not a part of. The Mystery Bag is his thing. What is the Mystery Bag? For sharing in his preschool class the kids get a canvas bag that comes home with a big question mark on it. The kids get to put a secret item in the bag, bring it in and give hints to the class, while the classmates guess what might be in the bag. It is a huge highlight for Silas. He LOVES the Mystery Bag. He gets so excited when he finds the Mystery Bag in his locker and then we all get to practice guessing for him all night before he takes it in. 

Silas is a huge fan of music. He has eclectic tastes in music, and very much goes OCD with one song. So much so that he wears everyone out on the song. He gets the song completely memorized. (Everyone else is forced into complete memorization as well.) He sings the song, he plays it on piano, guitar and whatever other instrument he can find. And is absolutely insistent that no other song can play on the TV, in the car, anywhere. And if you try, he screams. 

I kind of hate to give in to musical preschool terrorist tactics. But keeping the peace is also a priority in the house. 

Silas is also at that age where he is starting to fib and try to get out of things. He wasn't the one who hit someone at school, it was another kid in the class. The reason Skadi was pushing him away wasn't because he was throwing the arrow in his hand at her. "It wasn't because I threw this arrow at her mom." He self-incriminates pretty regularly. And it's always hard to keep a straight face as he tries to get himself out of trouble. 

The big trouble comes from Dad though. He pretty regularly gets in trouble at daycare for something, the teacher tells me, he insists it wasn't him. Then begs and pleads for me not to tell dad. Dad will be "Soo mad at me!" Sorry that AB has to be the bad guy all the time, but we play it up pretty good. 

Silas had his first stitches two weeks ago. He and Leif were playing when Silas slipped on the floor. When he looked up there was blood all over. Split chin. AB took him to the ER and he did great there and was home in record time. Stitches dissolved and we thought all was good.

That was until I was chatting with a friend at the grocery store and Silas was messing around near my feet - slipped and fell. The ER visit that time wasn't so easy. Hours later he came home with butterfly closure and no stitches and one irritated dad. Multiple doctors, multiple injections, doctors constantly pulled away for other emergencies. It sounded awful. And the final doctor slapped some steri-strips on it and sent them on their way. Amazingly the chin has healed, but not without a decent sized scar.

Silas Update

Excuses? It isn’t that I don’t have the absolute best intentions. It’s that I don’t have the time. I have jotted down a gazillion things that I want to record regarding Silas. I want to blog about my work life – because that is crazy. But I just can’t seem to stay on top of things. There’s no time like the present, I guess. My goal over the Thanksgiving holiday is to blog everyday. Maybe this will push me back into the habit? I always take the week of Thanksgiving off - but this year I saw that the Friday before Thanksgiving had no meetings scheduled - and Silas was in need of some mama time - so I extended. Now we are kicking off 10 days straight of "hanging out" (Silas' words). So in theory that would be 10 days of blogs. I have a few days in there we won't be around or connected, so I hope for a few days of double blogs.

So Silas. He is a ball of love, but a superior pain in the rear at the exact same time. Knock on wood – we haven’t had a bad report on him from daycare in a week and a half. Seriously, I would knock on wood.

He is at that phase where everything he says is hilarious. Or completely scary and I worry about my safety at night. But mostly just loveable. He is struggling at daycare. The child does not really like other children. At all. He thinks they are evil or something. I don’t really know. He doesn’t want to be near them, he doesn’t want them to make noise. He doesn’t really want them to exist. If they make noise, say things he doesn’t like, exist in his space, basically – he freaks out. And sometimes (but not always) that freak out entails a more vampire like attitude.

Yesterday Silas was pushed down and bonked his head pretty hard. They decided to keep him up for nap as a concussion precaution. For some reason they sent him off to kindergarten with the 5 year olds. When I picked him up I got rave reviews. He loved sitting there in kindergarten, was not distracting, loved participating. I felt a bit vindicated because we keep telling them to push him intellectually.

Silas is my book kid. I FINALLY GOT ONE!!! After having two reluctant readers, I finally got my kid who enjoys passing his time with a book laying on his bed.

He is freaky smart. He counts above 20, counts objects by rote, he memorizes songs and books completely. He will sing entire songs – “Sound of Silence”, “Lampshades on Fire”… not easy songs. He also memorizes books. AB and I have taken to trying to trip him up. But he catches the slightest word and corrects us. If I say “beast” instead of “bear” in his favorite (and freakishly long) Merida book, he will correct me. It is a LONG book and he can recite it from front to back and doesn’t miss an adjective.

We have thought about taking him in and having him “tested”. Though I am not sure for what. Can they tell if a preschooler is a genius? Or are we just the same as every other parent and shocked at the things that we, as adults, don’t seem to be able to do anymore because we have our brain power devoted to other things?

It’s probably the later.

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Silas' favorites:

Spiderman
Curious George
Captain America
Finding Dory (refuses to watch Finding Nemo)
The Grinch book
Merida book
Too Many Toys book
Buzz Lightyear
Monsters Inc,
Beethoven (our dog)
Lucky (our cat)
Calling people "buttheads" (hanging head in shame - my fault, I call Odin this. Correction, I used to call Odin this.)
Singing
Jingle Bells by the Barenaked Ladies

Cooking - cracking the eggs specifically. Silas calls it "making". When I am cooking dinner he yells, "I want to make with you". He is a hard worker in the kitchen.

He is also my good eater. He eats lettuce! An unknown in my house with the kids. I actually get to send salad in for his lunch.

One other thing that Silas nailed that the other kids still lack is knowing where things are. He remembers. And when he loses something (or Dad loses something that was bought at the Chinese Lantern Festival) he remembers the item months and still holds grudges.

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Me: "You're out of time out. Now what are we going to do?" (I was thinking something along the lines of apologizing to Skadi.)

Silas: "You are going to return me back to the Brother Store where they will put me back in my cage and I will have to wait for another mommy and daddy to decide they want me."

And so now I AM the one who feels like crap.

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Silas: "Mom, when we get home can I have a feather?"
Me: "We can probably find a feather, what do you want it for?"
Silas: "To call it macaroni."

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Silas asked the other rainy day why we didn't have more gorillas as he wanted to take one to school and certainly Skadi would want to take one too.

Tonight while reading to him, I found out that gorilla is umbrella. And his world makes a little more sense.

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Silas channeling my mom: "If you want to make pie, you make pie!"

This is actually a common Silas refrain. "If you want to have a hang out day, we have a hang out day."

Or, "if you want to go to school, you go to school".

He is a very matter of fact kid.

Nakey butt

Silas is in the "fascinated with his body stage". Or actually we will change that to "fascinated with everybodies bodies stage". 

The locker room at the Court Club after swimming is my most feared place right now. In and out as fast as possible. House of Horrors. 

He is very well versed in genitalia presently. He calls his "penis" and Leif has helped him out with the "balls" one. Leif didn't ask about those until much later. But he is also fascinated with "Basheenas". It sounds an awful lot like Sheena. Which is also the name of the daycare director. And I haven't told her that when she says it is cute that he asks everyone if they have a "Sheena", that it is actually not her. 

Anyways. He has this naked dance. It's the "naked butt" dance. He gets naked, pats his head with one head, pats his head with the other does this sideways slide thing and sings "naked butt, nakey butt" while prancing and dancing. The older two fight over who it was who taught him this as though it is a badge of honor.

Yes, I have video. No, you can't see it. Well ply me with a glass of wine and I might show you. 

The other day Leif went to change his clothes. Silas knew where he was going, followed him, stripped naked with Leif and started singing "we're just two naked guys! Doo doo!"

Leif yelling (and simultaneously laughing his ass off) "MOM! Will you come get him. Or do something. Or videotape him? Or no, because I am naked. I don't know. But maybe you just need to come see this!" 

Hilarious. Yes. We were dying as Silas danced around Leif naked singing "we're just two naked guys, doo doo". 

Daycare told me he is fascinated with genitals. 

I asked them not to tell me anymore. 

Poop gun

So Silas potty trained pretty easily. We were slow though. Part of it was that we had a big vacation last fall and didn't want to deal with it at all on that trip. So CHristmas hit and we went full in. And no real issues after his first week of rebellion. 

Then one day he quit pooping in the potty. We mentioned it, but didn't push. We encouraged. No dice. We knew that we couldn't push really hard after Leif had years of issues with encopresis. So I bought some toys. Little surprises for successes. And not terribly surprisingly, it came back pretty easily. 

The lasting effects though are that he has latched onto his "poop toys". And has named each one. 

We have: 

Poop gun

Little poop gun

Big poop gun

Poop gabloons (balloons)

Poop Man

Silas: "Leif, here is my poop gun!"

Leif: "Umm Silas, do you think that we might be able to call it just 'green squirt gun'?"

Checker at the grocery store: "Oh, that's a nice squirty toy."

Silas (in a deep voice)': "It's my BIG poop gun!" 

At swimming lessons at the top of his lungs: "I NEED MY POOP GUN!" 

At Tae Kwon Do with a huge group of people around us: 

Mrs. Rose: "Silas, look at that..."

I was rude, I cut her off. 

Me: "Don't acknowledge the squirt gun!"

Mrs. Rose: "Oh?"

Me: "See, he got it for pooping in the potty and so now he proclaims it his 'poop gun', loudly!"

Well babies

Ok. So neither are babies anymore. But I finally got around to the well child exams for Silas and Skadi. Well child visits are my favorite. Our Doctor talks to the kids as adults and the responses are often hilarious. 

Silas: "What is she doing to me?"

Me: "The nurse is taking your blood pressure."

Silas: "Oh. Ok." (Nurse finishes.) "Are you happy now?"

Nurse: "Umm yes."

Silas: "Did you suck all my bones away?" 

Nurse: (Laughs) "Umm no."

Silas: "Yeah, ok. I can still feel my bones in my elbows and knees. I guess you are ok now."

She enters the information into the computer.

Nurse: "Ok, just a few questions. Does he know his name?"

I just looked at her blankly for a minute.

Me: "Yes, he knows his name."

Nurse: "Does he speak in complete sentences?" 

Me: "Well..." (Pause.)

Nurse: "Ok, so he did to me, so I am guessing that's normal."

Me: "That and more."

And Skadi is busting up laughing. 

Doctor: "Silas, what do you like to eat?"

Silas: "Cheese."

Doctor: "Anything else?"

Silas: "Yogurt."

Doctor: "Anything else?" 

Silas: "Cheese."

Doctor looks at me.

Me: "He speaks the truth."

Doctor: "Silas what is your favorite thing for breakfast."

Silas: "Most definitely pizza."

WTF? The child has never had pizza for breakfast in his life.

Doctor: "Skadi what is your favorite thing for breakfast?"

Skadi: "Captain Crunch with CRUNCH BERRIES!"

WTF? I buy Captain Cruch ONCE in a moment of weakness. Trying to appease Silas at the grocery store so I can finish getting groceries and now it bites me in the butt! She thinks I give my kids pizza and sugar cereals for breakfast. GAHHH!!

Skadi grew two inches last year and remains in the 26th percentile for both height and weight. 

Silas was 32 lbs and 38.5". About 50-60th percentile for both. He's a lightweight because he eats nothing. Nothing but mango nectar, cheese and yogurt. I need to compare stats, but I am sure he is lighter than both the other two, but height is a forgotten unknown for me. I am pretty sure Leif was taller. Probably not Skadi though at age 3. She was starting to show her shrimpiness at that point. 

"Go away mom!"

So Leif had his best friend over for a camping night in the backyard. They were pretty inept in setting up the tent. Mom finally helped. 

Silas is at that age where he wants to do everything the big boys do. He was so excited to have E over. He made sure everyone properly greeted E. Many times.  E is the youngest of three, so he is not at all used to toddlers and found it all fascinating. 

The boys were inside and Silas was loving romping in the tent with Skadi. I went out to check on them. 

Silence. 

"Are you guys out here?"

Silence. 

"Skadi and Silas?"

I knew he couldn't stay quiet for long. 

"Get out of here mama!"

"What's dis mama?"

Silas: "What's dis mama?"

(Pokes me in the boob.)

Me: "It's a boobie Silas."

Silas: (Giggle) "I yike boobies mama."

Silas is TWO!

I say this all the time. But it's real. How is it possible?

How is it possible that my kids are growing up so quickly? TWO! Silas is TWO! My little blonde haired, blue eyed boy.

Silas' birthday landed on the Thursday after Easter - so it has been a big week for him. We practiced all week saying "I am two!" and singing "Happy birthday". But until the party Friday where everyone sang to him, focused on him and put a giant cake (WITH FROSTING!!!) in front of him, he didn't really grasp it. And well, he maybe didn't really grasp it then either.

Silas is my rough and tumble one. He has to be to keep up with his brother and sister. As has been par for the course with my kids, he is a talker and advanced there. He speaks in 3-4 word sentences and uses a huge variety of words and is really moving along with conveying his needs and frustrations. He calls Skadi "KK", Leif is "Lay" and Odin is Odin. Lucky is "Ki-Cat". He has transitioned from mama and dada to mommy and daddy.

Silas has coveted every balance bike he has seen in the past few months, so we got him one. We have heard, for the last 4 days since he opened it, "I got a bike!" Poor beep beep (the farm ride on toy) has been cast aside in favor of a BIKE!

Silas' favorite things to do (aside from ride a bike) is to feed the animals. Odin's food dish is always overflowing, the Goldfish has plenty of food to cloud up his tank and Lucky gets fed twice a day - which hasn't happened in ages. But Silas is diligent in doling out the food - though heaven forbid one of them (Odin) decides to swipe something from him. That will definitely ruin his day.

His other favorite thing to do is "go outside". This is actually a very particular request though. He doesn't really want to go out into the backyard to play. He wants to go into the driveway and ride whatever convenient riding toy he has up and down the slight slope.

We are pretty convinced he is the smartest toddler around too. He counts to 10. No joke. I have no delusions that it is anything more than reciting what he has heard just like he does "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes". And probably the fact that we squeal with joy when he does it means he has learned that "I do this and it makes them happy" thing.

Silas is an excellent sleeper, sleeping through the night 90% of the time -  8:15-7am. He naps like the dead - 3-3.5 hrs usually. Eating... the child has an amazing sweet tooth. And kind of like me - once hungry, the attitude (normally happy go lucky) changes. Hangry.

Silas is kind of a solitary kid. He is wary of other kids invading his space and they better not touch the item he is interested in. He reminds me a lot of Skadi in mannerisms. He will bowl you over and isn't one to be bowled over.

He still loves his thumb and we love it too. Love not having to keep track of a pacifier. I am sure the day will come when we like it a bit less. But already he is to the point that he only sucks it when he needs to calm himself down, or at nap/bed time.

KK is his bestest friend in the whole world and she is amazing with him. She plays with him and engages with him and appeals to his dangerous side as she flies him around on beep beep or his scooter. Leif is an incredible help with Silas, gets him out of his crib, fixes breakfast for him, brushes his teeth, helps get him dressed, but isn't the one who is going to entertain him like Skadi does. All in all, both kids make for the best team with Silas.

Silas truly made our family complete. We are so blessed to have him. He is an amazing boy. I love his little kisses, his hugs, his learning and seeing the world through his eyes! I love you Silas!

Woohoo!

So back when I penned the last post, I wrote "woohoo" at the bottom to remind me to write about "woohoo". But I spaced it. And then apparently I don't proofread my posts very well before posting and so it looks like my last post ended with an unenthusiastic "woohoo". It wasn't intended that way. So now I will explain the big "woohoo".

One evening we were eating dinner and I complimented my (extremely picky) daughter on eating well.

Silas perks up and says to her, "Yay Skadi, woohoo!"

And, of course, we all laughed.

Thus started the "woohoo phase".

Whenever anyone is praised for anything in the house Silas chimes in with a "woohoo".

"Yay Lay [Leif], woohoo!"

And there are days when the woohoos are less enthusiastic. It sounds like a very blah, "woohoo."

AB and I both get woohoos as well.

Me: "Yay, we aren't late today." (I mumble when we drop off at daycare.)

Silas: "Woohoo mama, woohoo!"

We have been laughing at the woohoos now for awhile and of course, you start wondering where they pick it up. And then we realize that neither AB or I *ever* say "woohoo".

I asked at daycare and sure enough - his lead teacher gives a woohoo whenever they do something good. Finish a book? Woohoo! Everyone sits down for group? Woohoo!

So woohoo everyone!

Toddler Speak

Silas loves to wake everyone up. It is his duty in the house to open a door and yell at the TOP of his little voice:

"WAKE UP LEIF!" and "WAKE UP SKADI!"

Or his version:

"WAY UP LAY!" and "WAY UP KAY KAY!"

(Yes, we have all latched onto Kay Kay and she is never escaping this nickname. That's ok, it still sits with her fine.)

Leif has a bunk. This morning Silas and I were standing in Leif's room talking to him from below when Silas went over to the bunk's stairs.

He eyes me and takes two steps up.

"MAMA SAY NO FALL SI SI!"

So I said it, "Silas, don't fall!" (I say this a lot.)

"NO FALL MAMA!" And he proceeds up the stairs.

woohoo!

Busy busy bees

Well life is definitely busier as a mom of three. I love my blog - keeping it, going back and reading the past. And I want to stay on top of it, but my time. I have none.

I have a tough transition this week. To that of a non-nursing mom. I have always loved nursing my kids. When we thought we wouldn't get to have another baby after Skadi I mourned the fact that when I weaned her I hadn't really thought or commemorated in my own mind, "the last time I am nursing". And I regretted that at the time.

This time around I am wondering if that wasn't the better option? Now it is marked. Now the last nursing session (unless something goes very awry) is going to be tomorrow.

I am headed out Monday morning at the crack of dawn to get on an airplane where I will be gone all week to Tennessee. Yay. Not. Honestly I am most looking forward to sitting in the hotel working and catching up on things, uninterrupted.

That means that the last time I nurse Silas will either be Sunday afternoon or Monday early morning.

He has been weaning - only nursing once during the day and if he wakes at night. I don't have much milk at all. But making this final step going cold turkey has me panicking a little!

I can't stand pumping on travel. I have done it for a number of trips and I am really done. I am not hauling the big pump as I need to haul enough crap along on this trip. So I am taking the hand pump only. And after 5 days I fully expect that there will be nothing left when I get back.

And Silas will certainly have let it go.

Nursing hasn't been as easy this time around. Supply issues, cracked and bleeding nipples, you name it. Things I never struggled with before.

But still... he's my last! The last baby I will nurse.

There will be tears.

But next Friday all will be good and we will have moved on.

All about the baby

I keep writing posts that never make it to being published. Various reasons – spilling too much, that post sounds braggy, just plain too busy and then the post seems old. I know it doesn’t count that I intend to post.

 

Maybe if I stick with the kid topic I will be better? I posted so much about the older two kids early in their development. Silas is becoming totally the third kid.

 

All About Silas:

 

The big boy is just shy of one year old. Where has this last year gone? Seriously I feel as though I have blinked and he is suddenly a year old. I keep saying it. Must stop blinking.

 

He likes…

 

Silas is my ball kid. He loves balls. His favorite is a junior sized basketball. But he is starting to get dangerous with it as he hefts it over his head and shows that he can put some distance behind that ball and that his aim isn’t too bad. He loves his ball popper, his purple ball he can grip with one hand (and whip at someone walking by). The kid will rock at dodgeball. (If they play that anymore.) Silas will sit and throw a ball back and forth with you for as long as you are willing. When he goes to daycare there is a mad scramble for a ball to give him to distract him so I can walk out. It will be very interesting to see if he grows up to be a natural athlete.

 

Food. Silas also likes food. Pasta especially. Pizza too. He is an amazing eater and will eat most everything we put in front of him. I think Leif was like that. Skadi was not and we still struggle with getting her to even try a small tiny taste of things. Silas loves blueberries and grapefruit especially. This past weekend he ate an entire grapefruit. Not a half. A whole grapefruit. In one sitting. He is vocal when he wants more of something. Screams. Screams until he gets more. We are working on signing for “more” and “done”. This was a huge hit with my older two. Silas just prefers to scream so far.

 

His brother and sister. Truly thinks they are saints. Which is difficult because they can be serious turkeys and Silas just beams at them like the antics they came up with are the most wonderful notions ever. A common refrain in the house is, “but mom, Silas likes it!” One of Silas’ favorite things to do is sit on his riding toy and have the kids push him around the living room. And around. And around. What you thought 113 times was enough? He is screaming because he wants you to push more. They are usually quite willing, so it works out for all involved.

 

And what he likes MOST of all? His dad. Dada. Heaven forbid that AB come home from work and then leave again (like if he needs to go to the store) because Silas will scream until he returns. AB can do no wrong. He squeals “DADA!” when AB walks in the door. He squeals “DADA!” when AB walks by the room. Basically he squeals “DADA!” nearly all the time.

 

Silas also likes the cat. Or “ca”. He loves to go in and feed “ca”. But he also calls Skadi’s hamster “ca”. Interestingly enough, Freya is not a “ca”.

Have you noted that Mama has not been mentioned? Yeah. Me too. 

 

Silas has 8 teeth and is working on four molars. Fun for all. He crawls and pulls himself up on things. Cruises a bit along the couch and such. No standing by himself yet and no walking. Why would he walk when everyone hauls him around?

 

Containment is not his thing. At all. It is ok if he is in the backpack out for a walk. But similar with my other kids, the stroller is evil. And once the food disappears in front of him, the high chair – it is evil too. Going to listen to his brother’s first piano recital = torture of the purest sort. With the other two kids we didn’t have much to attend to outside of them as they were little. But the kids have their big music performance coming up for school. And that would be misery with Silas. Hello babysitter. Finding that we are leaving Silas with a sitter a lot more than the other two kids saw a sitter at this age.

 

Daycare has been up and down. We loved the two lead infant teachers. Then one was fired. Unjustly IMO. Thanks to one of those Nazi first time moms who thinks that her child is the only one in the room and deserves one on one attention all the time. We picked up the fired teacher as a nanny and enjoyed that for a week. Then she got a new job she couldn’t refuse and I couldn't match (benefits), so I scrambled back to daycare and begged for our position back. And yes, it all worked out. And Silas got to stay in the first infant room with the little babies because his teacher loves him so. (Or so they tell me… I always wonder if it is because I am a real pain in the ass parent and none of the other teachers wants to deal with me?) Anyways, she loves Silas and wanted him in her room until he was one. I said sure and hoped a tiny bit that she would keep him until he was 5. But she said no. Regardless, we will make the move to the toddler room in a few weeks. Then two months after that we will make the move down the road to the Montessori school that has siphoned away so much of our money for the last decade.

 

At nearly one year old the other difference between Silas and my other two is weaning. Skadi would have nursed for a few years if I would have let her. She weaned at 16 months – actually I should say that I weaned her. Leif was 13 months. So I guess I am not terribly far off with Silas as compared with Leif. But I was a serious cow with the other two. Production queen. I could have had triplets! Not so this time around and we have had to supplement Silas with formula since Christmas. I suspect my age, but the nursing just has not come easily this time around for some reason. It is good I had such a good experience with the other two, because I can totally understand why some moms cave and quit. But I have been determined to make it to a year. I have struggled with cracked nipples, lack of production, inability to pump acceptable amounts, bottle rejection… it hasn’t been easy. But I will make it to one year. Then I will moan and sob about my last baby.

 

It is all bittersweet though. When things have gone well with nursing, I love it. I love those tender moments. But the issues I have had to work through this time around actually have me feeling not so terribly sad to see the nursing go by the wayside. And hey, I am REALLY looking forward to wearing a normal bra again. But there will be tears as I realize I am nursing my babies for the last time ever.

 

Catching Up

I need some mental blogging capability. Because I really do enjoy blogging and love the journaling aspect. I really love flipping back to old blogs for reference (how big exactly were the older two at this age?) and when my kids are older I want to share some of the crazy things they did and said. In order to keep doing this, I need to keep blogging. And since adding hours in the day hasn’t panned out, maybe blogging mentally would work? I think about what I want to blog about and it just happens... someday it will be real.
 

Anyways, new fiscal year, let’s get it caught up and started out right.
 

Skadi: “Mom, pinky promise me you won’t tell dad?”
 

Me: “Ok.” (Crossing fingers because I tell AB everything.)
 

Skadi: “I have a boyfriend!!” Then she jumps up and down and squeals like the little girl she is!
 

Me: “Really!!” (Thrilled that she is telling me this and hoping she will continue to tell me these things as she gets older.) “What’s his name?”
 

Skadi: (Blank stare) “I don’t know that.”
 

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Me: "Didn't you find your sweatpants in the dryer yesterday?"

Leif: "Yes, but they probably aren't there now."

Me: "Oh yeah, because our house elves came."

Leif: (eyeroll)

Minutes later the dishwasher is acting up.

Me: "Hans guess what you get to fit in today among everything else?"

AB: "Ugh."

Skadi: "What about the house elves?"

 

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Girl Scout Coordinator to Skadi: "Would you like to join Girl Scouts?"



Skadi: "No I just want to buy cookies."

 

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Daycare floater: “I have to tell you, I just love when I get assigned to Infant A because I know I get to go in and have Silas smile and laugh with me for at least some portion of my day. He makes my day.”
 

Awww!
 

The new normal

I am back at work.

 

I am pretty sure I had about 10 weeks off, but right now it seems to be only a vague recollection. A blur. Where did it go?

 

Everyone was positive I was going to have the baby early. Even me. Though I kept in the back of my head how ironic if I were overdue with this one like I was with the other two. Well irony struck. I was tired and very pregnant and having contractions for about 3 weeks (one day I would be certain we were headed to the hospital in a few hours, and the next not a single contraction) before he came. When Silas was born I had been off about 2 weeks, which was really, really nice to have that time to myself.

 

The hardest part during that time was convincing myself not to respond to work stuff. I had a delegate for a reason. Then there was the dealing with people, which isn’t always my forte. My own kids wondered when the baby was going to come and it was a huge unknown to them. AB and I knew what to expect, basically, but conveying that to the kids just wasn’t working well. The baby was doing gymnastics and the kicks were visible and painful. The kids found it hilarious. I got tired of the hilarity. Then there is the other people outside my little family. The friend who asks, “are you sure you are having contractions?” The work stress – losing out on leading a major program because they needed someone “there”. (I get it, really I do, but it was stressful.)

 

Then we had the baby (see the birth story), but the complications didn’t stop there in our world. With the other two, the baby was born and we went home. With Silas, he was born and we stayed because of his multiple issues. The hardest thing about him not coming home was that AB used all his time off from work running kids around. He felt very gipped that he didn’t have that week home with Silas and me. I was a “boarder mom” and had food available to me and a bed and shower just down the hall from Silas. AB had to get the kids up and on the bus, feed them meals/make lunches and because they were also concerned and wanted baby and mommy time, he fielded them back and forth to the hospital daily. Then home for baths and bedtime. I was bored in the hospital, and AB was run ragged.

 

I was starting to feel gipped in many ways too. I felt like my maternity leave was slowly dripping by, no one was going to extend it because the first nearly 1/6 of it in my mind, “didn’t count”. I didn’t get those first pictures of him straight after birth (or even days later) on my chest. Then the first few weeks of photos after he got home were icky as his face was all marred up from the tape they used to tape the tubes in place. If we went out (even just to the doctor’s offices), people glared at me and asked what happened to his face, did he get scratched already? They softened dramatically when I would explain it was a reaction to the tape from the tubes he had in his throat. And even when we were barely keeping heads above water going through things we didn’t anticipate, we had the people factor. The person who the “exact same thing happened to them” - or so they say, but they don’t really listen to hear that it isn’t “the exact same thing”. Or the person who thinks you aren’t doing things just right. Or the person who acknowledges that their situation was completely different, but I should make sure that I do X, Y and Z. (And maybe only Y is semi-applicable.) Or the people who don’t read. The ones I texted or e-mailed that it was a bad day with the baby in the NICU and they would reply, “glad to hear everything is going well!!!” (Two of those.)

 

A few years ago a friend of mine had twins who went into the NICU. I don’t remember why, but he had stopped by the house a day or two after they were born to get something I was loaning him. I had packaged up our leftover soup from dinner (Chicken enchilada soup with all the fixings) and sent it with him. For months after his girls were home he raved to me about that meal, how I didn’t know how helpful that was and how good it tasted after all the hospital and fast food they had recently.

 

Now I know how helpful it was. Should I ever (and I am sure I will) know someone with a baby in the NICU, I will provide a meal during that time. It was so generous of people to provide meals to us and it was nice to have them when I was home. But the value of having food for AB and the kids when I wasn’t there, that he didn’t have to fix was tremendous. Once I was home we could work together to get meals. It was so much harder when AB was shouldering everything for 5 days.

 

We got home and I went into my reclusive self. I would get up and get the kids ready and on the bus. And then I would spend the day with Silas, watching TV, napping, doing laundry, doing little projects around the house… Occasionally I would have people stop by to hold Silas and visit. It was always welcome, but as a recluse I found it a bit stressful by myself. I would have to make myself presentable – harder than I had remembered with my other two! Pick up the house a bit. And get Silas ready. With a newborn it just takes longer to do everything. I had a few people drop by during those first few weeks and I tried to be thankful that people cared and wanted to see us, but I would find myself fuming because I didn’t really want my secret out that I spend an hour (or so) in the morning in my pajamas with a baby stuck on top of me and watching Downton Abby!

 

We did get into a groove and I quit napping – knowing that my leave would be coming to an end and napping at work is generally frowned upon.

 

I even managed to get me and the other two kids out of the house on a semi-regular basis.

 

I formed an addiction to Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. And Great Harvest Cinnamon Burst bread.

 

I wandered Target constrained only by how long my baby would sleep.

 

I spent Fridays with my husband and no children who could speak.

 

I ate at nice restaurants for lunch on Fridays with my husband – places we could only take a newborn.

 

I let the umbilical cord to my other two stretch some by letting them go to the bus stop by themselves.

 

I didn’t read. Well much anyways. I am a reader, but for some reason reading wasn’t appealing to me while I was on leave. It would have required I take my eyes off my newborn. And that wasn’t happening.

 

I didn’t check my work e-mail. I had permission to do so, but I resisted for the most part.

 

I made homemade cookies a lot.

 

(And I ate a lot of homemade cookies. )

 

I snapped 87923 photos of my newborn. At least. Maybe more.

 

I may have forgotten I had pets that also wanted attention. Poor pets.

 

Three

When I had Leif I mourned passing time. It made me sad when he lost his newborn look, then when he was a toddler and not a baby, you get the idea.

People like to tell parents of newborns to enjoy this time as it passes so quickly. I am sure I have done the same. But right now I find that statement annoying.

As a mom of three I know very well how quickly time flies. But beyond that I have a new outlook with number three. I love having a newborn. But I know from experience that all the best is yet to come. It only gets better as you see them learn to do things for themselves, they learn to read, they make friends, they discover what they love.

Babies are awesome. But there is so much more to look forward to.