Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Creating a monster, not mitigating them

AB tells me I always have the best intentions, but I tend to not think through how Leif will actually respond to certain things in the long run.

Take last night for example:

Leif: "Mommy there's a ghost over there." He whispers pointing to his blue towel hanging on the hook.

NM: "Nope, it's just your towel. Do you want me to move it?"

Leif: "Ok."

NM: "There done, the towel is now in your hamper."

Leif: "Mommy, there's a ghost in my hamper."

NM: "Ok, how about I just remove the towel all together?" (I get up and toss the towel out of the bedroom. Return and sit down.)

Leif: "Mommy there's monsters." (He has a seriously horrified look on his face. I felt so bad for him.)

NM: "Honey there is no such thing as monsters."

Leif: "Yes there are."

NM: (Surrender. Thinking...) "Leif if I gave you some monster poison would you be really careful with it and only use it if the monsters come near you?"

Leif: (Nods.)

I go into the kitchen and scrounge under the sink for that tiny squirt bottle I saw a few weeks ago. Find it and fill it with about an inch or two of water.

NM: "Leif this is monster poison, it makes the monsters go away if you spray them. Here, spray it once and make sure it works."

AB and I giggled as he fell asleep with a completely serious look on his face holding the squirt bottle in front of him with both hands.

Night falls. I go to bed. I get up. I hear Leif in his bedroom playing while I am dealing with fussy girl.

Leif: "Mommy! I need more monster poison!"

Quilt top on bed? Drenched.

Floor around the bed? Drenched.

Walls near bed? Drenched.

Lion hamper? Drenched.

It is truly amazing how far 2" of water in a spray bottle can go.


AB: "Leif time for bed."


Then heard over monitor...

AB: "Leif if you spray that again I am going to take it away."

AB: "Leif if you spray that anymore you won't have any monster poison when you need it."

AB: "Stop spraying that now."

AB: "Stop, just stop now."

AB: "No monster poison, there is no such thing as monsters! Let me have it."

AB: "Give it to me now."

AB: "I said stop spraying, do you want a time out?"

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