What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you that now? Have you ever doubted what you do now and wished you did something else? And if so, more or less technical than your current position?
When I was about 4 my grandmother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her I wanted to be a nurse just like her. She told me, "no, you don't want to be a nurse, you want to be a doctor!" From that point through most of my life I either wanted to be a doctor or a scientist. I had episodes of wanting to be an astronaut, or an archeaologist, things that usually coincided with what I was studying in school. And then I went through the art phase... I was an "honor art student" in high school. At my high school reunion my "friends" were surprised to hear that my Ph.D. was not in art, but science. Yes, I can draw and paint and I have a portfolio hidden in the back of my closet that can only be coaxed out with some really good wine.
Most of my high school friends weren't the smartest cookies on the block and we almost never talked school. I guess it never mattered that I wasn't in their classes other than art. A few knew what classes I was in, but not many. I think many actually didn't have any idea what calculus was, let alone it was offered at our school...
In college, (I always knew I would go to college and I wanted to go to college badly) I started as a double major, art and biology. But I hated the memorization of biology and sucked at it. The art appealed to my creative side, but I hated being graded and told what to draw. Then I started rocking my chemistry tests and figured 'what the hell' and changed my major to straight chemistry. Oh, then I hit organic chemistry and struggled, finished o-chem but had no idea what to change my major too then, so I took the lazy route and just continued down my path until something better came to mind... I did nearly get a minor in religious studies due to my questioning my path in science... oh where would I be now with that?!?!
I ended up loving the next class in the chemistry line, physical chemistry and was sold. I was going to be a physical chemist. I was cautioned by my advisor and mentor in college who was an inorganic chemist that people become p-chemists because they like that everything comes down to a number and it isn't as simple as that. Nerd girl is still trying to figure this statement out... simplicity is good.
In grad school (after a couple years hiatus working in dermatology and skin cancer surgery trying to be sure I really didn't want to go to medical school like everyone had told me I wanted to that point) I was drawn towards surface science and not just because it was the mid-late 90's and the tech industry was booming. I really, really liked it. My post-doc was immediately post-911 and the semiconductor industry was nearly obliviated and I found myself post-doc'ing in nuclear physics and rad detection, where I have learned a lot.
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I guess what I am getting at is that right now, at this point in my life, I can't imagine doing anything else. I had given thought to teaching... I was good at teaching. I won two teaching awards while in grad school, one from my department where my name hangs on a plaque at the entrance to the department. And the other was a University wide award. I liked teaching college kids, but found myself incredibly frustrated much of the time. If they would just TRY or just THINK... most college students are very, very stupid.
Hence how I have come to this point of thought in my ramblings. When I was teaching I came to the conclusion that not everyone should go to college. I have debated this many times and amazingly people feel very strongly the opposite way, that everyone should go to college. I was thinking about this feeling the other day and how I would handle it if my incredibly intelligent son, who I am quite positive will be a world reknowned strings theorist who with his charismatic personality will open the field to the understanding of millions, decided he was not going to college. *Gasp*
Before Leif I told AB that I would strongly support my child pursuing any career of his choice after high school as long as it wasn't sitting on my couch. If the child wanted to go to acting school, I would work my hardest to enable this. Auto mechanic school? Sure thing. Beauty school? No problem. Harvard? Will they take credit card? So why now, when I see my little boy sitting in front of me do I have dreams of him roaming the University of Colorado, Boulder campus to and from class, and that is the "only" option for him. (Ok, I will settle for Harvard...)
I have a number of friends and acquaintances and even a blog I read where people have true callings outside what they are doing now. One of my good friends who is an internationally known nuclear physicist (4 scientists, not post-docs, scientists have recently relocated to work with him) has dreams of owning his own bakery someday. And one day I am quite positive that he will simply not show up and a new bakery will pop up here (and he is young). Another friend of mine has her Masters in biology but yearns to be a chef, L has her Masters in geology and taught high school but wants to go to beauty school.
I guess what I am wondering is in the back of their minds, did they always want to do these things? Do they see merit in their college education? Or like for my sister, was it a horrible period of their life full of struggles and unhappiness?
How should we decide what career path we should choose? Would it be more helpful to have more rigorous decision paths in grammar school that streamlines students? No, I don't think this is the answer personally, case in point, AB who was thought to be stupid through most of his grammar school experience. Or my grad school buddy V who in Bulgaria was pinpointed for business, but has found his calling with femtosecond lasers. (That's 0.000000000000001 seconds for the non-science types.)
Ok, so there is my neuroses from the past weekend. Answers anyone?
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