The dreaded sleepover party

When I was in first grade my parents invited all the little girls in my class over for a sleepover.

A few went home, my parents called their parents when the girls didn't stop crying.

At least one wet the bed - or the floor - given that we were all in sleeping bags on the floor.

Who knows when we all went to sleep.

And my parents made pancakes for what seemed like hours the next morning.

When it was all over they sighed that it would never happen again. And it didn't. My sister never had her sleepover party.

Sure we would have sleepovers, but these were individual girls and never a sleepover party.

So why I didn't just immediately say "no way Jose" when Leif started talking about a sleepover party, I have no idea. I did say, at the time, well you have to pick 3 kids at the most IF we did that. Trying to play to the notion that he would only get three gifts. Is it awful of me to do that?

What I really should have said was the thing that my friends told their daughter, "nope, you can have a sleepover when you are 7, we can start planning it now".

Leif's proposed guest list has included two of his close female friends. I told him that I was pretty sure that their mommies were not going to allow them to spend the night with four little boys.

"No mom," he replied, "we are big boys."

"Well that just bolsters their case," I told him.

Nope. I didn't think way back when the topic first came up. And so now we are feeling a bit stuck. And yes, I do get that I AM the parent and can just say no. And we tried that.

"Leif," I said, "daddy and I just don't think you are old enough to have a sleepover party."

"I really think that I disagree with you,"he replied, or something like that. His exact words are evading me, but AB and I both sat there looking at each other wondering if he was 5 going on 17.

Yes, I could just say no. But it is hard when he has his heart set on something so strongly.

I have been working to entice him away from his plans for weeks. After the party at Coach Brett's (that was always a very exciting thing when he was littler) a week ago, that he had loads of fun at, I pushed the issue. "Are you sure you don't want a Coach Brett birthday party?"

He looked at me like I was an idiot.

I suggested Rollerena, which was the leading candidate last October thru December, despite the fact that Leif isn't so hot on rollerskates. At the time I was a bit turned off by the notion, but somewhat entertained as I heard "Skateaway" in my head as I whizzed around the rink.

Rollerena is no longer a candidate, despite my mentioning a few times, "but they have air hockey!"

Friends have made suggestions, what about the Children's Theater? The Court Club?

Then I hit on an idea.

"How about Chuck E. Cheese?" I heard myself mentioning to AB one evening.

"Fine," AB said.

So today Aunt Tara and I packed the kids up and headed to Chuck E. Cheese to test the waters.

This is a huge accomplishment for me. I don't do Chuck E. Cheese. See this happened while I was in Colorado and for some reason it hit me then like a ton of bricks. And I never set foot in Chuck E. Cheese again and I cringed whenever anyone suggested taking the kids there.

So it was a huge step forward for me to walk through the door and get my and the kids hands stamped (so that when a child leaves, they make sure it belongs to the person the child is leaving with). Right there? Big red flag, that I am sure is supposed to make me feel better...

We got a pizza, we spent our 35 tokens (about 6 put into games that didn't work). And I told myself I could do this. I can do this. I can host a Chuck E. Cheese party and no crazed gunman is going to come in. Really.

We left after the kids redeemed their 60 tickets for a pink plastic ring, a tiny rubber snack and three lollipops. Total ripoff.

But I told myself I could do this. I can bite the bullet and send out Chuck E. Cheese invites.

Then tonite we set to talking about the options.

And Leif says, "no, I really just want to have a Wii sleepover party with three boys."

Ok. Fine. Done.

I am getting off cheap this year. The cost this year will be a mere one sleepless night.

(Wondering how much I can pay Aunt Tara to hang out downstairs with the boys and get them to bed while I snuggle in my nice bed?)

Skadi's Party

We finally got around to holding Skadi's third birthday party.



She had repeatedly requested a Coach Brett birthday party. And I entertained the notion a bit. But then we opted to vacation to Silver Mountain for our anniversary with the kids and Skadi's party got the shaft. Ok, yes, I could have done the big party and I know she would have liked it. But I just had trouble bringing myself to forking out that dough for a 3 year old party. It was different when Leif was three and we did a joint party there for he and Cate. Next year Skadi.



We did a princess dress up party for her and five of her closest friends from school. I wanted to keep it small and it worked well for her. Leif had two older siblings over to play and they pretty much did their own thing.

Skadi enjoyed hosting her friends:

Olivia

Raquel

Best friend, Lexi

as well as Maddie and Sophia (pictured below).

We started with dress up in the play room.

Then we went outside and released butterflies.

Remember those days when it was cool to wear the same clothes as your best buddy?

Then the bubble machine came out.

Finally snacks and cake.

This pictures scared me a bit... Skadi and Maddie were bickering a bit about something, I am pretty sure it was the cake. And Skadi was looking a touch possessive about the cake. And all I could think about was the story my mom used to tell me about how she got a bit possessive of her cake at age 2 or 3 towards her cousin and put her dress over it. I was a bit worried...

But nothing like that happened!

And last presents.

Fire Station birthday pictures

The cake... pre-slide

Inside the fire station

Checking out the fireman in his uniform

Guess who is driving?

This picture cracks me up... I had finally gotten most all the kids lined up - with lots of help - and snapped the picture when guess who popped up out of my lap?

The snowball effect in July

We reluctantly bailed on a camping trip this past weekend. It was a combination of a lot of things - lack of time being the main one. We had just gotten back from Alaska and we were still kind of "rustic'd" out for the time being. The next aspect being that AB had to work this past Friday (and this coming Friday) and suddenly thoughts of when we were going to get stuff together for camping began to engender slightly panicked thoughts. (Not to mention figuring out when we would work on getting ready for Leif's 4th birthday.) Then there was the stuff... if we could find time to get stuff together, our STUFF is just a mess and getting old. The camping stuff needs some serious organizational attention. Actually much of it needs to be ditched, though our fancy warm double sleeping bag courtesy of my dad just needs a serious laundering.

And last? I don't have the zeal for tent camping that I used to. A dirt eating toddler, a fire loving preschooler, a dog, bugs, no shower and a vehicle only barely able to haul all our stuff... I am just not feeling it like I did when I was growing up.

But as I think about how I loved camping growing up... that is when I start feeling guilty for not sucking it up and doing it.

My son.

Like any boy, he LOVES camping.

AB reminded me that I shouldn't feel guilty - afterall we had just spent nine days in Alaska living life to the fullest there.

Our good friends just purchased a pop up tent trailer that I am seriously coveting. We drove by their house last night and I kept telling AB, "I am not going to look at it because I will want one!" They have led the charge on a minivan too. I never wanted a minivan before. Ever. Never going to own one, not ever.

Oh but look how roomy it is, and a DVD player? When can we get one?

We have lined out the rest of the summer for the most part... next weekend is Leif's birthday party, the following weekend is C's party, the weekend after that we are thinking a day trip to a water park might be in order.

Then I head to Steamboat for my girl's weekend which will likely also be the same weekend as one of Leif's friend's birthday party. Thankfully his mom talked to me the other day to give me a heads up on what they were planning. Their son is quiet and never wants a party. So instead they are looking for fun alternatives he can do with his two favorite friends. Last I heard they are leaning towards taking the kids to the movie - and I am happily rejoicing in the fact that this should be easy for AB to deal with on his own. Though freaking a little at the thought of how Leif will behave in the theater with two other little boys and only two parents...

Anyways, by the time I get back much of August has passed us by. Nothing very heavy is occupying our summer schedule now that Alaska is in our past, but fitting in all the little things is hard. Llike the Farmer's Market, house shopping -early phase now- fixing our house up to sell, and still trying to organize for a garage sale that AB keeps reminding me should happen sooner rather than later given the growing stacks of STUFF in the garage and his hopes of having an actual place to park this winter.

I am starting to look at planning for the fall and... I am embarrassed to admit... I am even looking towards planning Christmas. Not to mention the fact that I actually uttered the words "Olympics 2010" to friends the other night. (Which are, by coincidence, about 6 or so hours north of us.)

We will do our annual October trek to the family cabin on the Sound (I am working on correcting myself as I read how annoyed people get when one uses the term "coast" to refer to places on The Puget Sound) - everyone (but probably mostly Winny) is looking forward to that trip.

I would like a trip to Seattle for a weekend to take the kids to the aquarium and other attractions and maybe fit in some Christmas shopping. Then we head to Colorado for Thanksgiving. Then Christmas here... and phew.

2009 anybody?

Gluttons for punishment?

One thing I am trying to convey with Leif is that he does not need to play with kids who aren't nice to him.

There are two little boys in his former classroom who he clashes with big time. Big time. I get to hear about all the bad stuff they do to him at recess on the drive home and when I pick him up and he is on the playground, they come running to me to tell me every transgression of Leif's. I am blowing it off right now because I know that his new teachers ARE dealing with it.

What is killing me though is conveying to Leif that he does not have to be friends with these boys.

I fear he has a little of me in him here. A resistance to let go of someone despite being practically pushed out the door.

When I ask him who he wants to invite to his birthday party - and despite the fact that neither boy invited him to their parties - their names are on the top of the list. He is still only turning four and I have ultimate say on the guest list. Therefore they will not be invited. AB balked a little saying if Leif wanted them there, they should be invited. I reminded him that his party should be fun and not full of interactions that are going to hurt his feelings and he quickly saw the light.

Though they clash - I can still hear the admiration in his voice for them. I can see him looking up to them, longing to play with them.

Are we just gluttons for punishment? We know that we are being pushed away but we still reach out, grasping, despite the pain that rejection brings?

AB is much more matter of fact about it all. "Well if someone doesn't want to include us then do we really want to be included?" It was a refrain his parents said to him many times and one we will say to Leif many times. I am trying to tell myself the answer is a no brainer.

And I see it in Leif's eyes too. The pain of wanting to be included with those boys - the pain of wanting to hear "you are my friend" (which is a major deal to a four year old in declaring that level of commitment) from them. And I stand here thinking to myself that he isn't going to hear it and frankly - I don't want him to hear it from them.

Friendships - even for a four year old they are complicated!

Happy first birthday Skadi!

Happy Birthday Beaner!

Skadi's first birthday was on Sunday. It flew low under the radar given it was also Easter. But knowing this was likely to happen, we held her birthday party with friends on Saturday the 15th.

As a gift from us, Skadi received a swing for our pergola. She loves to go out and swing and thinks that is just great fun. While inside she will point out the window at her swing and whine, wriggling her fingers in a fashion that says, "bring that to me or me to it".

She received a number of books and other toys for her birthday. One of her favorite items is her Little People Noah's Ark from grandpa. She loves taking the top off, putting the animals in, pulling the animals out, putting the animals in... you get the idea.

I finally have a child who loves Little People! I can give into my whims without feeling guilty that the toys will go unused! She has just started getting into her Little People house as well that she received for Christmas (also from grandpa). Her other favorite is her rocking chair that arrived this evening. The biggest issue there is keeping her brother OUT of the rocking chair so she doesn't start screaming. Because while she wants to use all of his toys - she is none too willing to share her new coveted item.

One year old. Truly it seems like just yesterday I brought her home from the hospital. Now she is interactive and vocal.

I used to think Skadi would end up being "quiet", but lately I am not so sure of that. She likes to "sing" along when she hears things... even the coffee pot grinding beans has a tune for her and she humms along, "Mmmmmm!". And she has recently become "the talker" at daycare or at home where she will look you straight in the eye and start jabbering in her own language, pause and wait for you to answer. She is vocal at home... as long as her stiff competition is keeping his mouth shut.

She has said "mama" for a few months. Then came "ki-ca", which is "kitty cat", though AB denies it. He refused to let her second word be in reference to "that cat" instead of him. "Dada" was next and is a frequent declaration, probably moreso than "mama" now since... well, since she is ALWAYS in my arms. She rarely has to ask for me. She also says "hi" and "bye bye".

She is working on her first molars and so this weekend she was rather tempermental and not happy unless she was in my arms.

Skadi is standing very well by herself, and today divulged a secret to me... she has been walking 4-5 steps at a time at daycare. They told me this last week, but I refused to believe it. *My* daughter wouldn't dare hide something from me. It was some other little red haired girl in the room... they were seeing things out of the corners of their eyes. Then today on my mid-day visit, she turned around and walked away from me, all the way over to grab onto the swing.

My jaw dropped open. She smiled in her coy fashion and crawled back to me. I told her then her secret was out. Then she got up and walked over to one of the caregivers just to twist the knife a little harder.

Today they announced to me that with nine babies enrolled in the infant program and Skadi now officially over one year old, they will be bumping her up to hang with the big kids instead of opening the second infant room.

I know she will be fine. I really do adore the teacher in the next class up. But what it means to me is that she isn't my tiny little baby anymore. *They* are going to start using the "t" word in referring to her...

Toddler.

Skadi is a really amazing eater. I am going to say this again just because it is not something I have ever been able to say with my other child... Skadi is an amazing eater. Though my MIL does argue with me that my son does eat amazingly well... at least compared to his cousins! (This, of course, made my day and has been etched permanently in my head in that there is something my kid does better than his cousins! No competition, you know.)

Skadi is a meat eater. Leif was not - he was/is carb boy. Skadi will eat her carbs, but give that child chicken or beef, or as we discovered at our friend's house on Sunday - ham and she chows. She will carefully sort out and pick out the meat out of a pile of food in front of her. Give her a dinosaur chicken nugget - whole - and the child is in heaven as she giggles while holding it. Then she will eat it and usually a second one too.

Another difference with food is even if she doesn't like something, she continues to eat it. You might get a funky face with every single bite, but she will eat it!

She started some whole milk this weekend and had her first sippy cup of 50% strength apple juice. She was indifferent towards the milk and thinks that apple juice is the bees knees. (Not surprising.)

Skadi loves to give nice, big, open-mouthed, sloppy kisses. She responds with a "kiss" everytime someone says "kissy" and sticks their lips out. She loves giving kisses to everyone, though Leif is her main target and his kisses come without warning or solicitation. This morning she crawled up while Leif was on my lap and went full on into his face planting a big kiss on his lips. She thought it was hilarious.

And Leif, thankfully, did too.

Skadi has one hero in her life right now. Mommy and daddy, they are fine. But put Leif in front of her and she howls with laughter. She does everything she can to keep up with him, play with him, and to be his shadow. On Easter at our friend's house, the kids were going up and down a small plastic slide. Skadi wanted to be part of that in a bad, bad way. Every few minutes, we would slow down the preschoolers so that she could go up and slide down. It was utter pain and misery for the kids to slow down for her, but at least then she felt involved. Next year she will be right in the mix!

Skadi will start at the other school in June and we are very anxious for this. We are supposed to be picking her teacher, but might resort to requesting her name goes in the hat for the draw between the two teachers. Truly, either teacher would be great and we just keep waffling between the two. Picking one, in my own mind, is the same as rejecting the other. And I just can't do that.

Skadi is one year old. How did this happen? I know it sounds cliche, but it has gone way too fast.

I have a lot more confidence this time around. I care a lot less about what other moms think. I never thought that two would be so hard. Yet I never thought parenting the second would come so easily and naturally. I have spent way too much money on cute clothes in the past year... quite likely more this coming year. And I have been amazed at how love isn't divided, but grows with the addition of another child.

Happy birthday Skadi!

The start of a rock collection and more

I have two rocks in my coat pocket. This is hugely reminiscent of being 5 years old and collecting rocks. I had a great collection that I still wish I had. A few arrowheads in there, a large chunk of quartz and some fossils were also in there.

We were out for a hike up a local hill Sunday afternoon and Leif found a "rock with holes" he liked. I showed him there were lots of rocks with holes around and they were called "lava rocks". He picked me out one, kept his and we continued on our walk. A little while later he told me he was tired of having the rock in his pocket, but he wanted to keep it.

He handed it to me with strict instructions, "don't throw it away mommy, I want to take my ava rock for show and tell".

I think Leif needs a box for his rocks.

We had a good, quiet weekend. Swimming on Saturday where I dropped a sizeable chunk of money on registering both kids for the next session. Skadi loves the water and is getting far more interactive with the experience, even to the point of crawling to the pool edge and making every effort to get herself in the water. It became a game with daddy on Saturday.

Saturday afternoon we went to the birthday party from hell. It is worthy of a post unto its own. But though I have tried I just can't write the post. Ok, I can write it just fine, it is the posting of it that I can't seem to do. So the succinct version has a mom who calls her husband names, a drunken dad, a very unruly child who has to be pulled off of other children by guests because dad can't do it, mom is inside making it all perfect and the dad's "special friends" (aka hoochie mamas) are parked at his side. Yeah, birthday party from hell. We got in the car and I haven't heard AB be so vocal about other people and their childrearing... ever.

Sunday we were disappointed at the turn of the weather that put our morning hike on hold. So instead when Skadi went down for a nap late morning I started on the guest room... which consequentially meant that AB started on the guest room too.

He kept commenting that he liked how he constantly gets roped into *my* monthly goals. Of course with a smile on his face most of the time. I reminded him we were cleaning out the guest room so HIS mother had a place to stay when she arrives in just under three weeks. I had to recruit him to put all the Christmas decorations, Halloween/Thanksgiving decorations, itty bitty baby stuff, outgrown Skadi clothes, too boyish for a girl clothes and other random stuff into the attic.

It was about this point where AB said, "can we just go buy a new house WITH storage instead". And I think he was only partway joking.

Once all that stuff was out I was amazed at what an easy job the guest room will be to get ready for our houseguest. Give me a few hours in there and we will be set. Then once my MIL leaves let the fun decorating begin for it to become Skadi's room.

This is where AB and I are at odds. There is a queen sized bed in there. It is a comfortable queen sized bed or according to most everyone who has stayed in our house has told us.

I want to get rid of it.

AB doesn't.

We don't have storage for it, we aren't going to pay for a (badly needed) storage unit. It is an old bed. Why save it?

Because we might want it for a guest room again someday. Or because we could haul it to Shelton (somehow given we don't have a trailer either) and have a decent bed there to sleep in. One that doesn't skeeve us out or isn't a big mushball.

So in the meantime... before we either go to Shelton again and can rig someway to haul a queen sized bed 5 hours to the cabin, get rid of one of the beds at the cabin by hauling it somewhere, get this bed up into the attic sleeping area... or before we buy a new house that actually has a guest room... what should we do with it?

According to AB it stays in Skadi's room. She has a tiny room. The crib and bed will fit, but no rocker. I have to have the rocker in there. AB suggests we lean the queen bed against the wall.

Lovely.

And oh so safe for a baby's room.

Moving on...

Sunday afternoon the weather improved a little and we hiked our hill and Leif did a fantastic job. This was where he found his ava rock. We got back to the playground and he admired a child's size Specialized bike. He needs a two wheeler. Bad.

I looked online today and found the same bike... a mere $190. Not going to happen. But bike shopping is in our near future.

We went home and after being home for about 20 minutes, Leif and Skadi were standing at the coffee table.

Which one falls?

Leif. No idea how but he whacked his chin on the coffeetable, bites his lip and puts one tooth through the lip, the other only halfway through. Blood everywhere.

AB got him calmed down enough to look at the gaping wound. I made phonecalls where I was told they won't stitch a puncture wound of the lip, to watch it, keep it clean and don't let him pick at it.

AB suggested we stick a ring in it and get him started early.

To which he endured seething glares from me.

Oh and the keeping him from picking it? Not working. This morning he came in to see me in the bathroom and told me his owie was gone, he bit it off. Yep, the scab was gone, and it was oozing again.

Ick.

Survived another weekend

Once again I found myself somewhat happy to sit quietly at my desk this morning. And for good measure, I even shut my door to ensure silence. It was just something I needed to do.

I dragged myself out of bed this morning after being shocked it was 7am and all three of us; Leif, Skadi and I, were all still snoozing. And when I say dragged... I am not joking. I could have easily slept substantially longer. But fear of actually getting to work at a halfway decent time got me moving.

After the shower, Leif showed up in the kitchen requesting dinosaur egg oatmeal and we had breakfast together.

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Saturday was a very hectic day. Leif had swimming class and then we rushed around for a few last minute things for our BBQ. Thankfully Leif and Skadi both took naps when we got home. AB and I put together dinner. I made three nectarine pies (freezing two), pasta salad and AB's favorite, chipotle baked beans. I had looked for another option, but AB balked when I expressed a desire to ditch the baked beans.

AB slaved the afternoon over the BBQ/smoker slow smoking four tri-tip roasts with a mix of cherry wood and Sangiovese vines.

We hosted four other couples and two friend's of Leifs. The kids had a great time running around. The addition of the third child really altered the normal dynamic between Leif and C. They really are a lot like siblings in many ways. They are usually thrilled to get together, but often times end up bickering over the tiniest, insignificant thing. This time it was a 3" rocket ship with Jimmy Neutron on it. And it is my guess, that neither child has the foggiest who Jimmy Neutron is. But the dynamic shifted when a third friend from school showed up. Suddenly Leif worried less about C playing with his toys and the kids actually settled in and played.

Our friends brought dishes to share and some really spectacular wines. I think we ended up with four or five open and my favorite was the Yakima Cellars Sangiovese. Sangiovese isn't a varietal I automatically gravitate to. I really need to explore it a little more. Of course this was a tough sell between that Sangiovese and the Bella Dry Creek Zinfandel... because I am just a zin-girl. But seriously honorable mentions go to the Reininger Helix Rose, the Cougar Crest Syrah and the L'Ecole '98 Cab. All were well matched with dinner and just fabulous wines.

We had a great evening sitting on the patio chatting with friends. After everyone left I realized how tipsy I had gotten in my quest to taste and double taste the wines to assure myself which were my favorites.

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We were lazy Sunday morning, picked up the house, and then when Leif wasn't showing signs of napping at all, we let him up. (Requesting oatmeal at 1:30 pm because he is hungry...) At 3pm I went to get directions for the birthday party Leif was attending and found out that it was actually only about 3 minutes from our house. Nice...

Upon arriving, I was a little less optimistic about the party. It was stated on the invitation to be a pool party... but I guess I should have inquired a little further instead of assuming it was a little pool party. Nope, inground pool party. This just required so much more attention and focus than I had in me. I was happy to have a reason to phone AB and insist that he come over asap to help - and bring a towel and extra clothes for Leif.

He return phone called a few minutes later asking me to come and pick them up. Leading me to question what part of "Leif is in an inground swimming pool that goes to six or more feet" he didn't understand. Oh and this is also the point at which I was THRILLED that my son has finally figured out the poop training thing. Paddling over to me in the inner tube and telling me he had to poop made me ultra proud... and relieved. Ok, more relieved.

AB showed up with a newly wakened Bean in an outfit to make a mother bawl. Got to get those binder clips. Let's see... mauve pants (too small) a pink WSU Cougars undershirt, and her pink going home from the hospital sweater (read way too small). AB told me they were all pink. Umm, not really. And "all pink" is not necessarily a good thing. Anyways...

So pool party for the three year old children? Not really a great idea. Great way to make the parents of your attendees sweat. Though the chocolate raspberry gourmet birthday cake went a long way to repair my nerves.