Happy 7th Birthday Leif!

Seven just seems so much bigger than six. At six, I could still get away with saying "little boy". But at seven? I am just not sure that seven is little anymore. He no longer asks for toys really... except ok a Nerf gun picked out by his sister WAS really cool...

he wants big kid stuff... like Donkey Kong Country Wii...

and Super Mario Brothers v. 63. Or it seems like they should be on v. 63 since I remember Super Mario Brothers from when I was a kid...

The nice fishing pole from grandpa Perry was MUCH appreciated...

This year Leif decided that he wanted two things - to go to the cabin for his birthday to see his cousins from Boston...

and then a sleepover with three of his friends also "gamers" to play Wii all night, with no parents and no girls allowed.

Leif had requested a three layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a cherry on top. No problem, I thought. Then I took the three round layers out of the oven and Leif looked dismayed, "why are they the same size?" Turns out he wanted a three tier chocolate cake, like a wedding cake with a cherry on top.

Well a knife works wonders... and then *I* got to munch on cake before the actual party.

The other thing that is very important to have when you are seven years old is trick candles!

Because everyone wants their cake covered in spit from the effort taken for blowing out candles for 5 minutes...

Happy 7th birthday Leif!

Etiquette

Me: "Leif this afternoon when Auntie Melissa gave you a gift, I wasn't happy with the way you said, 'oh, I hope it is a Wii game!' That is impolite and can make the other person feel bad."

Leif: (Looking at me blankly.) "But I liked the book a lot mom!"

Me: "I know. But ok, think of it this way, if you drew me a special picture and wrapped it up and gave it to me because you knew I would like it and I said, 'oh, I hope it is a diamond ring!' How would you feel?"

Leif: "Bad."

Me: "See what I mean. You can hurt someone's feelings by assuming the gift is something that it isn't."

Leif: "But what if it was a drawing of a diamond ring?"

Sigh.
Leif"

Leif's 6th birthday

We spent Leif's 6th birthday at the cabin. Which of course meant that we had to have his party a bit later. That's ok, we don't mind spreading out celebrations in our family. When Skadi turned two she was sure that her birthday lasted the entire year and everytime we celebrated anything it was all about her birthday.

In keeping with that tradition of allowing my children to milk their birthdays for all they are worth, we celebrated Leif's birthday with his friends a few weeks after his "real" birthday.

I had a bit of an issue with Leif for his birthday party. For months he was declaring that he wanted a sleepover with a number of the older boys in his school. I just wasn't so sure this was the thing we should be doing. And I feared for my lack of sleep. I was ready to give on just about any other type of party, including Chuckee Cheese - which he amazingly didn't latch onto.

Then one day, completely out of the blue he announced he wanted a party at the Court Club - a rock wall party. Done. Booked. Before he could change his mind. There could be a maximum of 10 kids - which at this point in his life is hard. So many parties include all the kids in the class. We selected our 8 guests since his sister was included in those 10.

Leif with his two best buddies.



Getting started on the rock wall.


Success!

Yes, that is Skadi. The child that has no fear. I hadn't *really* expected her to climb...


Leif decided he needed a bit more of a challenge.

Scored the chicken!

C scored the chicken too!

N scored the chicken too!

Leif decided to move over to one of the even harder walls...

And he did it too!

Much to our surprise, not everyone was as into the rock climbing. Leif, Skadi and his two closest buddies were sold and just kept going over and over. While the adults worked to entertain the other 6 children!

Finally it was snack and cake tim!

The dreaded sleepover party

When I was in first grade my parents invited all the little girls in my class over for a sleepover.

A few went home, my parents called their parents when the girls didn't stop crying.

At least one wet the bed - or the floor - given that we were all in sleeping bags on the floor.

Who knows when we all went to sleep.

And my parents made pancakes for what seemed like hours the next morning.

When it was all over they sighed that it would never happen again. And it didn't. My sister never had her sleepover party.

Sure we would have sleepovers, but these were individual girls and never a sleepover party.

So why I didn't just immediately say "no way Jose" when Leif started talking about a sleepover party, I have no idea. I did say, at the time, well you have to pick 3 kids at the most IF we did that. Trying to play to the notion that he would only get three gifts. Is it awful of me to do that?

What I really should have said was the thing that my friends told their daughter, "nope, you can have a sleepover when you are 7, we can start planning it now".

Leif's proposed guest list has included two of his close female friends. I told him that I was pretty sure that their mommies were not going to allow them to spend the night with four little boys.

"No mom," he replied, "we are big boys."

"Well that just bolsters their case," I told him.

Nope. I didn't think way back when the topic first came up. And so now we are feeling a bit stuck. And yes, I do get that I AM the parent and can just say no. And we tried that.

"Leif," I said, "daddy and I just don't think you are old enough to have a sleepover party."

"I really think that I disagree with you,"he replied, or something like that. His exact words are evading me, but AB and I both sat there looking at each other wondering if he was 5 going on 17.

Yes, I could just say no. But it is hard when he has his heart set on something so strongly.

I have been working to entice him away from his plans for weeks. After the party at Coach Brett's (that was always a very exciting thing when he was littler) a week ago, that he had loads of fun at, I pushed the issue. "Are you sure you don't want a Coach Brett birthday party?"

He looked at me like I was an idiot.

I suggested Rollerena, which was the leading candidate last October thru December, despite the fact that Leif isn't so hot on rollerskates. At the time I was a bit turned off by the notion, but somewhat entertained as I heard "Skateaway" in my head as I whizzed around the rink.

Rollerena is no longer a candidate, despite my mentioning a few times, "but they have air hockey!"

Friends have made suggestions, what about the Children's Theater? The Court Club?

Then I hit on an idea.

"How about Chuck E. Cheese?" I heard myself mentioning to AB one evening.

"Fine," AB said.

So today Aunt Tara and I packed the kids up and headed to Chuck E. Cheese to test the waters.

This is a huge accomplishment for me. I don't do Chuck E. Cheese. See this happened while I was in Colorado and for some reason it hit me then like a ton of bricks. And I never set foot in Chuck E. Cheese again and I cringed whenever anyone suggested taking the kids there.

So it was a huge step forward for me to walk through the door and get my and the kids hands stamped (so that when a child leaves, they make sure it belongs to the person the child is leaving with). Right there? Big red flag, that I am sure is supposed to make me feel better...

We got a pizza, we spent our 35 tokens (about 6 put into games that didn't work). And I told myself I could do this. I can do this. I can host a Chuck E. Cheese party and no crazed gunman is going to come in. Really.

We left after the kids redeemed their 60 tickets for a pink plastic ring, a tiny rubber snack and three lollipops. Total ripoff.

But I told myself I could do this. I can bite the bullet and send out Chuck E. Cheese invites.

Then tonite we set to talking about the options.

And Leif says, "no, I really just want to have a Wii sleepover party with three boys."

Ok. Fine. Done.

I am getting off cheap this year. The cost this year will be a mere one sleepless night.

(Wondering how much I can pay Aunt Tara to hang out downstairs with the boys and get them to bed while I snuggle in my nice bed?)

Skateaway

Now SHE had it going on.

At least when I was a kid. My sister and I used to watch this video over and over, then go get our metal skates on that strapped over our tennis shoes and we would Skateaway ourselves.

My sister was a far better skater than I ever was, and she had the curls going on too.

I think about the last time I rollerskated was 25 some years ago. I do have rollerblades and both AB and I have hit the pavement (literally and figuratively) on our rollerblades within the last decade.

When I was a kid we frequented the WagonWheel in Mills, Wyoming. It was a sketchy hang out 25 years ago... I can't imagine it has improved much, but apparently it's still in business. I spent many, many "free skates" at that place. We also went there for my dog obediance classes. And they had these horrible round tables that were misery to get in and out of on skates.

And it had this funky smell to it. Really funky.

A funk that must permeate every single Roller Rink because the scent invaded my brain and transported me back 25 year on Saturday.

Leif was invited to a rollerskating party at the local Roller Rink. I recalled back to the Wagon Wheel days and how no one was allowed on the floor during rollerskating with regular shoes on, so I even tossed in a pair of socks to fit me and we headed off to the party.

I entered a time warp. The skates were updated a bit... though the "retro" skates that I remember wearing served as decor around the perimeter. Some people wore rollerblades. And I was happy when the staff encouraged me to go out on the floor in my shoes to help Leif.

I may as well have been in 1982 when the music started playing. And the disco lights came on. And the UV lights came on. And the giant screen showed "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Oh Mickey".

It was a nice enough crowd. I didn't know them at all. The girl is in Leif's class and is one of the "offenders" - i.e., one of the girls always trying to hug and kiss Leif. And he was the only boy (except her brother).

Leif and I walked the perimeter the first time. Ok, so I walked and carried him on jelly legs. By the third time around he was scootching himself along on his skates. About the 5th time around I walked beside him as he held onto the edge and scootched himself around. This was of course the time where I could have gone and got skates for myself. Instead I claimed I needed to stay vertical for Leif's sake. (I was one of the only parents not on skates believe it or not.)

Midway through the party a number of girls came by hoping to skate with Leif as they held their hands out to him. I was quite proud of my boy for not falling prey to their evil ways and instead latching onto me. Just like a good boy should!

When the two hours was up we took of the skates and vacated into the bright sunlight.

"That's where I want to have my party next year," Leif told me.

"Really? We'll see," I replied really thinking to myself 'no way in hell'. I am counting on a short memory for this experience.

Four

I usually feel as though I have lots of insightful thoughts on my kids birthdays. This year all I can say is "Four? When did this happen?"

...

Four?

Are we sure?

2008-2004...

Yep, that's four years old.

Leif thinks it is quite funny to tell me he was three yesterday, he is four now and tomorrow he is going to go to kindergarten, ok?

He doesn't know how real that feels.

Four?

Are we still sure?

I have to admit I am not mourning three. Maybe that is making me less insightful on the subject.

It has been a rough year with Leif and I am just now seeing a different little boy emerge. I routinely said, "terrible twos? What are you talking about? How about terrible threes?" And I meant it. Leif pushed every boundary, struggled with friendships, struggled in his preschool room. Nothing seemed to come easy and I frequently found myself at wits end.

The past few weeks - embarking on age four - seems to be a new world for Leif. He is calm, friendly, one of the more "easy" kids in his new class according to the teachers. He tries not to hurt feelings, he likes to help, he doesn't use "bad language" (though lets us know of every transgression of ours, anything from the TV, or whatever he has heard on the playground). He is starting to enjoy art and amazes me with the things he knows. I have a new little boy at age four.

Milestones (or my brag book):

-Leif can write his name. (Though he is lucky his name is short and comprised of various curves.)

-He can count to 100 and is getting better about recognizing two digit numbers. (Though in counting he sometimes forgets 15 and has to occasionally be reminded which -0 number comes next after forty.)

-He knows most all the letters and associated sounds and is learning to tell you what letter a word starts with by sound (this is very hit or miss).

-He can spell Skadi's name and recognize it as well as a few friend's names, like C's name and the fact that it is very similar in spelling and sound to cat.

-He has become mildly obsessed with soccer and we have learned he is pretty good at kicking a ball. He can hit his sister dead on nearly every attempt... he now has a soccer goal to practice with instead.

-He recognizes street signs (I was surprised to hear him say, "that sign says yield mommy".)

-Leif loves to cook, particularly break the eggs (I did find a small bit of shell in my crepe the other morning though... I am blaming AB.)

Fire Station birthday pictures

The cake... pre-slide

Inside the fire station

Checking out the fireman in his uniform

Guess who is driving?

This picture cracks me up... I had finally gotten most all the kids lined up - with lots of help - and snapped the picture when guess who popped up out of my lap?

The snowball effect in July

We reluctantly bailed on a camping trip this past weekend. It was a combination of a lot of things - lack of time being the main one. We had just gotten back from Alaska and we were still kind of "rustic'd" out for the time being. The next aspect being that AB had to work this past Friday (and this coming Friday) and suddenly thoughts of when we were going to get stuff together for camping began to engender slightly panicked thoughts. (Not to mention figuring out when we would work on getting ready for Leif's 4th birthday.) Then there was the stuff... if we could find time to get stuff together, our STUFF is just a mess and getting old. The camping stuff needs some serious organizational attention. Actually much of it needs to be ditched, though our fancy warm double sleeping bag courtesy of my dad just needs a serious laundering.

And last? I don't have the zeal for tent camping that I used to. A dirt eating toddler, a fire loving preschooler, a dog, bugs, no shower and a vehicle only barely able to haul all our stuff... I am just not feeling it like I did when I was growing up.

But as I think about how I loved camping growing up... that is when I start feeling guilty for not sucking it up and doing it.

My son.

Like any boy, he LOVES camping.

AB reminded me that I shouldn't feel guilty - afterall we had just spent nine days in Alaska living life to the fullest there.

Our good friends just purchased a pop up tent trailer that I am seriously coveting. We drove by their house last night and I kept telling AB, "I am not going to look at it because I will want one!" They have led the charge on a minivan too. I never wanted a minivan before. Ever. Never going to own one, not ever.

Oh but look how roomy it is, and a DVD player? When can we get one?

We have lined out the rest of the summer for the most part... next weekend is Leif's birthday party, the following weekend is C's party, the weekend after that we are thinking a day trip to a water park might be in order.

Then I head to Steamboat for my girl's weekend which will likely also be the same weekend as one of Leif's friend's birthday party. Thankfully his mom talked to me the other day to give me a heads up on what they were planning. Their son is quiet and never wants a party. So instead they are looking for fun alternatives he can do with his two favorite friends. Last I heard they are leaning towards taking the kids to the movie - and I am happily rejoicing in the fact that this should be easy for AB to deal with on his own. Though freaking a little at the thought of how Leif will behave in the theater with two other little boys and only two parents...

Anyways, by the time I get back much of August has passed us by. Nothing very heavy is occupying our summer schedule now that Alaska is in our past, but fitting in all the little things is hard. Llike the Farmer's Market, house shopping -early phase now- fixing our house up to sell, and still trying to organize for a garage sale that AB keeps reminding me should happen sooner rather than later given the growing stacks of STUFF in the garage and his hopes of having an actual place to park this winter.

I am starting to look at planning for the fall and... I am embarrassed to admit... I am even looking towards planning Christmas. Not to mention the fact that I actually uttered the words "Olympics 2010" to friends the other night. (Which are, by coincidence, about 6 or so hours north of us.)

We will do our annual October trek to the family cabin on the Sound (I am working on correcting myself as I read how annoyed people get when one uses the term "coast" to refer to places on The Puget Sound) - everyone (but probably mostly Winny) is looking forward to that trip.

I would like a trip to Seattle for a weekend to take the kids to the aquarium and other attractions and maybe fit in some Christmas shopping. Then we head to Colorado for Thanksgiving. Then Christmas here... and phew.

2009 anybody?

Gluttons for punishment?

One thing I am trying to convey with Leif is that he does not need to play with kids who aren't nice to him.

There are two little boys in his former classroom who he clashes with big time. Big time. I get to hear about all the bad stuff they do to him at recess on the drive home and when I pick him up and he is on the playground, they come running to me to tell me every transgression of Leif's. I am blowing it off right now because I know that his new teachers ARE dealing with it.

What is killing me though is conveying to Leif that he does not have to be friends with these boys.

I fear he has a little of me in him here. A resistance to let go of someone despite being practically pushed out the door.

When I ask him who he wants to invite to his birthday party - and despite the fact that neither boy invited him to their parties - their names are on the top of the list. He is still only turning four and I have ultimate say on the guest list. Therefore they will not be invited. AB balked a little saying if Leif wanted them there, they should be invited. I reminded him that his party should be fun and not full of interactions that are going to hurt his feelings and he quickly saw the light.

Though they clash - I can still hear the admiration in his voice for them. I can see him looking up to them, longing to play with them.

Are we just gluttons for punishment? We know that we are being pushed away but we still reach out, grasping, despite the pain that rejection brings?

AB is much more matter of fact about it all. "Well if someone doesn't want to include us then do we really want to be included?" It was a refrain his parents said to him many times and one we will say to Leif many times. I am trying to tell myself the answer is a no brainer.

And I see it in Leif's eyes too. The pain of wanting to be included with those boys - the pain of wanting to hear "you are my friend" (which is a major deal to a four year old in declaring that level of commitment) from them. And I stand here thinking to myself that he isn't going to hear it and frankly - I don't want him to hear it from them.

Friendships - even for a four year old they are complicated!

I have a three year old... gulp!

Leif is three. How did that happen? Yesterday he was just Skadi's size I am sure. Or I mean, yesterday he was just Skadi's age. (Because truly he probably was Skadi's size yesterday.)

We had a really great weekend with Leif. One of the best in a long time. I think I only started counting 12 times or so. Sunday was his actual birthday, but we kept it low key with presents to open throughout the day. We let him open one or two and then go play with it. When he got bored we would encourage him towards another.

Saturday was the big day and it started with him coming into our room for a snuggle at 5:40am and he was coaxed back to sleep for another hour and a half. However, a queen size bed never really was meant to house two adults, a large infant who sprawls and a three year old who kicks. AB complained he slept with a butt cheek hanging off. Oh well, it was a nice morning with two sleeping kiddos.

We got up, got ready and headed out to Leif's birthday party. A supposed quick stop at Starbucks for coffee (that turned into a VERY long stop) and we were on our way. All the 15 kids who RSVP'd showed up. It was a really fun morning watching them all play.

Leif got to do the slingshot bungee thing. We had him go after daredevil C because we were paranoid he would chicken out. We wanted him to see how much fun C had, because there was no way she was going to chicken out. Leif saw how fun it was and on his turn he decided to ham it up with a "KACHOW!" at the vertex of each sling. (Nooo... we never watch Cars...)

He went home and willingly crawled into bed and took a nap. (Did you read that? I wrote "willingly"!!) Once up from nap we went and ran errands. AB needed a watch for work and we needed sand for the birthday present sandbox.

We had dinner plans (razor clams), but on the drive home realized it was almost 6pm and no way was dinner getting done anytime soon. And we were hot and tired. We saw Round Table and decided we would make a birthday pitstop for dinner.

I was nervous... Skadi is out of her infant carrier, but not big enough to sit up. Leif hasn't been out to eat in awhile and I wasn't in the mood for fights. But we figured Round Table was a good testing ground. There were kids running all over. Many highly obnoxious. I feared Leif wanting to join in. Maybe he did want to join in, but he stuck close and only crawled under the table once (grosssss). Then he sat down and ate dinner - a whole piece of pizza and a carton of milk!

While we were finishing up two young panhandlers came by the table. My guess is that they were 5 and 7. The older brother convinced the little sister to come ask us for money. Parents? Completely oblivious. Had it been my kid, I would have been appalled. We sent them away empty handed.

A little while later (while discreetly nursing Skadi and coaxing Leif to finish up so we could go) the woman from the next table came over. I thought maybe I was going to get chastized for breastfeeding in plain sight or something like that even though I was covered. Not that I ever have been chastized, but I am paranoid about it. (I know, come on, I live in Washington state... everyone breastfeeds here.)

"You have a very well behaved little boy," she tells us.

I nearly turned into a blubbering idiot right there. On the outside I politely thanked her for the comment. Seriously? Someone thought MY little boy was well behaved?

Leif was an angel all day... maybe we were in opposite world.