One year ago today

I was almost fully dilated and the L&D nurse told me I would have my first child by lunchtime. What a difference a year makes!

Happy Birthday Leif!




You woke up grumpy this morning thanks to those teeth pushing through. Poor guy. But your mood changed quickly and you thought it was really funny that mommy and daddy kept singing to you this new song that you heard at the Mexican restaurant last weekend.

I can't believe you are one year old today. Oh how our lives have changed, all for the better, since you came along. Suddenly mommy's overtime hours have dropped from +30 and "how will I ever use these hours before end of the year", to owing time from flexing. And you know, I don't really care.

From the time you arrived, I knew that I would know you anywhere. Your round head, big eyes and perfect little body was embedded in my memory. My feelings for you were so strong it was frightening. We wanted you so much, yet I was not prepared to be a mommy, who really is? I thought I knew everything I needed to know, but you have taught me so much more this past year.

You have taught me:
- Family comes first.
- That a baby doesn't need all the newest gadgets, only love.
- That a cry really can break your heart.
- But hearing you laugh out loud cures it instantly.
- Fear for the world around me and what your future may hold.
- Yet optimism and a sure sense that you will change the world.
- That a break in cooking dinner is doable for a little cuddle time.
- That I am so glad I am not a single parent.
- That calling a doctor at 8am on a Sunday is OK.
- To view my relationship with my parents differently, that they felt/feel this way about me.
- Spaghetti sauce comes out of hair with very little scrubbing really.
- How really truly difficult it is to make a baby handprint, kudos to Miss Alysha for accomplishing this every.single.month with 8 babies.
- Work travel is really overrated.
- How incredibly fragile life is.
- Yet how hard a baby's head is that is learning to walk.
- What it really feels like knowing that you would give your life for your child.

Happy birthday sweet boy! You mean the world to me.


(tears... I promise no crying later!)