Sunday, January 03, 2010

Farewell 2009

I am no numerologist, but I like numbers. I like good numbers like 8 (my favorite) and 4 and multiples of such. Odd numbers have never been my friend. And I truly find it just perplexing that the two best things that happened to me were born not only on odd numbers, but on prime numbers. My sister loved the number 3 and so it should come as no surprise that I despised the number 3. The only thing worse than 3 is squaring it or even worse than that is raising it to it’s own power.

Given this, I expect the year 2027 to be a bad year only because 2009 really left much to be desired.

To this point in my life I can’t look back on a year in general and say, “that year just really sucked”, except for 2009. Because really, when I look back on junior high and high school and while I may not have liked them – they never held a candle to the complications of adulthood.

2009 was the year my mom faced the battle of her lifetime with an evil foe – cancer. And it wasn’t an easy cancer (like my squamous cell carcinoma on my nose that also occurred in 2009), nope my mom’s cancer is one of those nasty, rare cancers where little research has gone into it – cholangiocarcinoma or cancer of the bile duct. If you are faced someday with getting to select a cancer, don’t pick this one. It is evil. It is one of those cancers that is something like a lottery, no clear indication what causes it or why a person was selected which probably makes it harder to swallow when the unlucky recipient has been very health conscious for so much of her life. Negative cubed.

Life… ‘tis not a fair venture.

2009 was the year of my daughter’s terrible twos which was repayment for all those times I marveled that “Leif didn’t have terrible twos!” Don’t ever utter such proclamations or karma will bite hard.

2009 is the year one of our closest friends battled lymphoma, my best friend in Colorado’s dad was ill with pancreatitis for months, she was laid off her job and it seemed that everyone around us was affected by illness or hardship in some way.

2009 was also the best year in my and AB’s respective careers.

2009 brought us a new home and all the joy and frustrations that accompany that venture. The whole moving thing… all the boxes… wondering if boxes will eventually unpack themselves… wondering if the trash can may be the best place for all the boxes… selling the house we brought our babies home to… learning how to navigate stairs… sweaty or frozen nights trying to figure out how to heat a two story home comfortably… and a whole new “To Do Someday” list. Despite all the frustrations with the moving process it is still far better than the cramped, too small, ineffective house we moved from.

2009 was the last full year before Leif will enter “real school” aka kindergarten, thanks to the decision we made to give him another year to mature. 2009 also brought mostly all kudos from people who agreed with this decision but was not void of criticisms from those people completely unaffected by this decision who felt the need to tell us what is best for our child and on occasion still take that opportunity to nip at it. But that’s part of parenting – listening to the people around you who you love and respect and then coming to the conclusion that is right for your family and moving on without regret. (Even if that regret is in not socking someone in the face for their comments…)

2009 brought a year of little sleep coupled with lots of middle of the night hugs and loves from a tiny little red headed girl.

2009 was my 50% year with yeast based breads. One failure for Easter and one success at Thanksgiving.

2009 was a year of reconnecting on Facebook and sudden realizations of why certain friendships were dropped so long ago. As well as some ponderings of why I would have let some friendships drop off because they are truly one of a kind. And can’t forget those paralyzing moments of seeing ex’s faces on my Suggested Friends lists… then a little bit of curiosity that comes up and forces you to click on them and “just see” how miserable they have to still be. Followed by the reality that they look darn happy. But mostly it was a year of wow – everyone I knew in high school, for the most part, really rocked it and are doing superbly as well.

2009 was the year I found out the boy I had a major crush on in junior high, died at age 37.

2009 was the year I became a touch obnoxious (or obsessive) with my iPhone.

2009 was the year of the Wii and AB’s and my first foray into trying to figure out how much is too much for a 5 year old.

2009 was the year of wondering if we will EVER see another good movie? Star Trek saved us from just assigning a big, huge NO as the answer to that question.

2009 was a most frustrating year with my 86 year old grandmother who should not be driving, nor living at home by herself. It has required patience and a sense of humor approaching her repetitive statements, her stubbornness, her paranoia, and reconciling them with her lucid moments. It is hard to understand how a person can believe that those people who surround her and love her the most, would be identified as so horrible in her mind.

2009 brought a decent sushi restaurant to the area (blocks from our home) and not only that, but it has become my kids’ favorite place to eat. Umm yay! Want a guarantee that my kids will eat and enjoy the food? Then let’s go for Japanese. 2009 – Leif loves miso soup.

2009 was the year my son first questioned whether Santa was real or not… but has not yet asked where babies come from. Phew.

2009 brought weeks… maybe months… of debate over vehicles and many declarations about “not buying new” and trying to reconcile our need for a large towing vehicle with the current “go green” mentality. When we got over it all, 2009 brought us a shiny new 2010 Toyota Sequoia along with a hefty car payment that is painful after years of no car payments.

2009 introduced us to a new church that felt amazingly like home.

As I type this out I look at all the good. All the blessings. All the love. All of these things that goes along with the sadness. The despair. The knowledge that I cannot move mountains.

But I can hope and pray and look towards a bright 2010. Because that is what we do, we persevere. We lift up and move forward. We do what we can full of love.

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