Monday, January 12, 2009

I have become...

the person I despised.

I got a phone call at work the other day asking me if I had spare time. That is always a loaded question.

It depends, I told them.

We need you to write another proposal, one of the 20 pagers the voice on the other end of the line told me. The voice went on to explain that one of the white papers that was accepted was written by someone who isn't ready to be either a PI or a PM and would I possibly have time to take on this project and not only manage it but be PI.

It's a huge compliment. I now have two clients under my belt (one where my projects are her sole projects and the second where I have four projects under the other client) and am working on business development for a third client. I am really enjoying this aspect of my job. This proposal fell under the purvey of client number two.

While this was a huge compliment I also remember far too well being on the other side of the coin. When I was on maternity leave and my first funded project was handed off to someone with more experience. Then the year after that when I landed my second proposal and they "tasked" it under another larger umbrella. I remember being frustrated that no one would give me the opportunity to lead. I remember crying about the fact that it seemed as though if someone wanted a proposal funded they handed it to someone with the right name to put on the front of it and how completely unfair that was.

Now here I am on the flip side. Part of me says, "see I told you I could do it". The other part reminds myself that I have worked hard and earned this, I climbed the ranks. And the other part of me balks at it, if someone proposed the work, let them write the proposal and land the fish, I will stand by and help and offer advice.

In the end... I am slime. I took it. I will write the proposal and am fairly confident that my experience with the client will land the proposal to round out our portfolio.

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