Now I've done it!

I went and hired a housekeeper. Our house was falling further and further into disarray with no reprieve in sight. We finally decided that with both of us working, and both of us having a desire to spend the time with Leif when we are off, as opposed to scrubbing the toilet, that it needed to be done.

In the larger scheme of things, spending $170 a month to have my bathroom scrubbed, windows washed, kitchen cleaned, floors scrubbed, not to have to spend money on cleaning supplies, nor have to vacuum (or buy Hans a new vacuum) shouldn't seem like much. Why does it then?

I don't really tend towards frugality. I like nice stuff, I spend relatively freely. I like my Dansko shoes and my Coach purse. I will readily spend $200 on good groceries and $20 on a bottle of wine. Why is it that I am having a hard time putting out the money for a clean house.

I really think it stems back to how I was raised. These are all things that I am perfectly capable of doing myself. And I am good at it, it isn't like I cut corners when cleaning. But it really comes down to that I am buying time. With that $170 a month I am buying probably an hour in the evening, every night of the week. And then at least 4 hours on a weekend. So average that out and we are talking maybe 8 hours a week, 32 hours a month. (Ok, my geekyness is coming out here...) this comes out to $5.31 per hour. Why am I reluctant to spend this money to spend the time with my son and husband?

Why? The answer is pride. Someone is going to come into my house and see that it isn't *always* clean. Someone is going to see that I am not a super woman. I can't do it all, work 40 hours a week, raise a perfect child and keep my house clean. I *should* be able to keep my house clean... shouldn't I? Well if I got up and vacuumed right now while Leif is napping, yeah right, I could get a little further on things. But I'm not going to. I fall asleep at 9:30pm with Leif on me in front of the TV every night. I am plain worn out by the end of the day. I won't give up cooking, especially on the weekends. That takes time... which reminds me I need to go pull the pork tenderloin out of the freezer... and I love cooking for my family. I could not ever give that up.

Honestly, I don't like cleaning. Why not buy back my time and pay someone?