Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Nakey butt

Silas is in the "fascinated with his body stage". Or actually we will change that to "fascinated with everybodies bodies stage". 

The locker room at the Court Club after swimming is my most feared place right now. In and out as fast as possible. House of Horrors. 

He is very well versed in genitalia presently. He calls his "penis" and Leif has helped him out with the "balls" one. Leif didn't ask about those until much later. But he is also fascinated with "Basheenas". It sounds an awful lot like Sheena. Which is also the name of the daycare director. And I haven't told her that when she says it is cute that he asks everyone if they have a "Sheena", that it is actually not her. 

Anyways. He has this naked dance. It's the "naked butt" dance. He gets naked, pats his head with one head, pats his head with the other does this sideways slide thing and sings "naked butt, nakey butt" while prancing and dancing. The older two fight over who it was who taught him this as though it is a badge of honor.

Yes, I have video. No, you can't see it. Well ply me with a glass of wine and I might show you. 

The other day Leif went to change his clothes. Silas knew where he was going, followed him, stripped naked with Leif and started singing "we're just two naked guys! Doo doo!"

Leif yelling (and simultaneously laughing his ass off) "MOM! Will you come get him. Or do something. Or videotape him? Or no, because I am naked. I don't know. But maybe you just need to come see this!" 

Hilarious. Yes. We were dying as Silas danced around Leif naked singing "we're just two naked guys, doo doo". 

Daycare told me he is fascinated with genitals. 

I asked them not to tell me anymore. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

My big fat whiny post

Ever have one of those days when your frustrations just build up? Nothing, in itself, that's huge. Just little things. Things that bog you down and get inside your brain? I have a series of them. Let's see how far I get and if it is at all cathartic.

I had a friend. She was a decent enough friend and works where I work. Then one day somewhat recently I noted that it was always on me. We were having lunch on a somewhat regular basis and I enjoyed it. Then it dawned on me that I was always the only one that set up lunch. And I started getting paranoid.

"Maybe she doesn't actually like me."
"Maybe she doesn't really want to have lunch with me?"
"Maybe she only does this because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings?"

So I quit initiating lunch. That was over a year ago. I haven't had lunch with her since.

Lunch is just an example. It extended beyond lunch. Occasional dinners with my family. Never at their house. Occasional glasses of wine . Not at their house and never initiated by anyone other than me.

I'll admit it. My feelings are hurt. And I kind of feel like I have been an idiot all this time assuming I had a friend. Yes, sometimes I am the most insecure person around. But I have stopped initiating get togethers with her and the friendship is gone. Not valuable to her is my take away. And frankly, at this point it would take a lot to rescue the friendship probably because I have let it sit for so long waiting to see if she ever reciprocates.

This leads me to #2. Reciprocity. Based off of #1 I have started questioning several of my friendships and trying to understand where they go off course. I have my areas where I am sucky - I haven't been to my best friend's house in ages. And I feel guilty about this. But with three little kids and a professional career that is requiring me to travel right now, and a husband with a job with suck ass hours, escaping for girl fun is just really, really hard. I promise promise promise I will make it up. I have faith that you will be there at the end of this phase!

But here locally I have noticed that AB and I initiate and invite new couples over for dinner and never get invited back. At first it is easy to say, "they are too busy" or "someday it will work out". But then it becomes "what did we do wrong?" And AB and I wrack our brains. Was it this? Or that? And we finally come down to, "well I love you and you are perfect to me, so screw it".

The fact that people come to our Halloween party every year and seem to have a great time is indicative that some people enjoy hanging out with us. But of the people who come, there is one. occasionally two couples, who host us back. Every year I threaten to not host the Halloween party. But our kids love it and it creates fun memories for them. So I suck it up. And we all have a great time.

I wish I knew what it was. Maybe it's my kids - and if it is - well go suck an egg. Maybe it's the raucous dogs. And if it is, I am sorry, but I wouldn't bring them over or out to dinner. Maybe it is just me. Or AB. And well, if it is, I guess that's just what we have to live with.

But still... I wish I knew.

This kind of leads to #3. RSVP people. I invite you somewhere, I suggest we go do something and ask when a good day is, let me know if it will work for you. Let me know you aren't interested in going. Common courtesy. Three times within the last month I have invited a few people to do things with me or my kids.


WTF? Seriously you can't bring yourself to respond to me?

Then let's take it to the small set. What's wrong with my kids? I mean, I know they have flaws. But if I invite a child to a birthday party, tell me if they are going to be there. And if they are, and then your plans change, let me know. My daughter's birthday party still bugs me. We invited several little girls along with all our good friends and their kids. All our good friends and their kids came. And all but one out of about 8 of the other kids bailed. Skadi had a great birthday party. But she still on occasion will mention "but I had invited her to my party and she didn't come". I was shocked at the number of people who RSVP'd and then didn't show up. Further shocked at the number of people who were invited and couldn't bring themselves to even RSVP.

Then there was the other one that pisses me off even more. The lying family. The daughter tells Skadi the truth at school as they play a lot. But the mom texts me lines of crap so deep I wish I hadn't left my hip waders in Alaska. I don't want to punish the girls, but freaking be honest. The next time a text comes across on why the girl can't come over after school that contradicts so vastly what the girl told my daughter and is obviously the truth, I think I am going to call her on it.

"We are going out of town this weekend, I am sorry my daughter can't come to the party."

"No problem, I understand that you don't like this other girl who will be around, she is a sweet kid, really. But no problem! I'll see you in your front yard when I drop off your neighbor on carpool tomorrow."

Along the lines of the common courtesy of the RSVP is the "thank you". I sent you a gift, at least tell me you received it. Easy one.

I am kind of feeling done right now.

Feeling done right now. Feelings have been hurt. Friends I am now calling lost. Done.

AB and I are hanging on here in this region by a thin thread right now. That thin thread is my job. And how well it is going and future exciting positions that are all but promised to me. Hell, I have exciting current positions in hand. I love my work. Largely. Most days. Two good paying jobs and mine with extreme flexibility? Bird in hand.

We have talked about going overseas for a few years to an available position. What keeps us here right now is not knowing what we would do with the dogs. Ok, and the house and the cars. But largely, the dogs. I have made a commitment to them and they wouldn't be easily rehomed. But at the same time taking our kids and packing up and going overseas sounds like a dang good idea.

So there it is. Blah blah blah.

Now I can move on and be my normal happy self!

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Poop gun

So Silas potty trained pretty easily. We were slow though. Part of it was that we had a big vacation last fall and didn't want to deal with it at all on that trip. So CHristmas hit and we went full in. And no real issues after his first week of rebellion. 

Then one day he quit pooping in the potty. We mentioned it, but didn't push. We encouraged. No dice. We knew that we couldn't push really hard after Leif had years of issues with encopresis. So I bought some toys. Little surprises for successes. And not terribly surprisingly, it came back pretty easily. 

The lasting effects though are that he has latched onto his "poop toys". And has named each one. 

We have: 

Poop gun
Little poop gun
Big poop gun
Poop gabloons (balloons)
Poop Man

Silas: "Leif, here is my poop gun!"
Leif: "Umm Silas, do you think that we might be able to call it just 'green squirt gun'?"

Checker at the grocery store: "Oh, that's a nice squirty toy."
Silas (in a deep voice)': "It's my BIG poop gun!" 

At swimming lessons at the top of his lungs: "I NEED MY POOP GUN!" 

At Tae Kwon Do with a huge group of people around us: 
Mrs. Rose: "Silas, look at that..."
I was rude, I cut her off. 
Me: "Don't acknowledge the squirt gun!"
Mrs. Rose: "Oh?"
Me: "See, he got it for pooping in the potty and so now he proclaims it his 'poop gun', loudly!"

Well babies

Ok. So neither are babies anymore. But I finally got around to the well child exams for Silas and Skadi. Well child visits are my favorite. Our Doctor talks to the kids as adults and the responses are often hilarious. 

Silas: "What is she doing to me?"
Me: "The nurse is taking your blood pressure."
Silas: "Oh. Ok." (Nurse finishes.) "Are you happy now?"
Nurse: "Umm yes."
Silas: "Did you suck all my bones away?" 
Nurse: (Laughs) "Umm no."
Silas: "Yeah, ok. I can still feel my bones in my elbows and knees. I guess you are ok now."
She enters the information into the computer.
Nurse: "Ok, just a few questions. Does he know his name?"
I just looked at her blankly for a minute.
Me: "Yes, he knows his name."
Nurse: "Does he speak in complete sentences?" 
Me: "Well..." (Pause.)
Nurse: "Ok, so he did to me, so I am guessing that's normal."
Me: "That and more."
And Skadi is busting up laughing. 

Doctor: "Silas, what do you like to eat?"
Silas: "Cheese."
Doctor: "Anything else?"
Silas: "Yogurt."
Doctor: "Anything else?" 
Silas: "Cheese."
Doctor looks at me.
Me: "He speaks the truth."
Doctor: "Silas what is your favorite thing for breakfast."
Silas: "Most definitely pizza."
WTF? The child has never had pizza for breakfast in his life.

Doctor: "Skadi what is your favorite thing for breakfast?"
Skadi: "Captain Crunch with CRUNCH BERRIES!"
WTF? I buy Captain Cruch ONCE in a moment of weakness. Trying to appease Silas at the grocery store so I can finish getting groceries and now it bites me in the butt! She thinks I give my kids pizza and sugar cereals for breakfast. GAHHH!!

Skadi grew two inches last year and remains in the 26th percentile for both height and weight. 

Silas was 32 lbs and 38.5". About 50-60th percentile for both. He's a lightweight because he eats nothing. Nothing but mango nectar, cheese and yogurt. I need to compare stats, but I am sure he is lighter than both the other two, but height is a forgotten unknown for me. I am pretty sure Leif was taller. Probably not Skadi though at age 3. She was starting to show her shrimpiness at that point.