Friday, August 11, 2006

A sense of purpose

My horoscope today:
"You have a clearer sense of purpose today than you've had in a long time -- use it!"

Yesterday morning we woke up, like everyone else around the world, to the news that a major terror plot had been foiled. I don’t kid myself that terror plots aren’t foiled week after week. Wow, I love living in one of the many countries with advanced intelligence to thwart such evil. I am not an overly political person (like AB). I have my opinions and can effectively debate them (thanks AB) and I find myself to be pretty middle of the road, a fiscally conservative, socially liberal woman who believes in a woman’s right to choose, gay rights to marry and that my money is my hard earned money and I will manage it thank you very much. I believe in the minimization of government and it’s impact on our daily lives while maintaining safety and security around the US and abroad when necessary. I am in the minority of people that actually like our president despite not always agreeing with his every move. I feel privileged to be born in this country and raising my family here.

However, things like this scare the living daylights out of me. (Just what they want to hear, right?) The knowledge that someone is so incredibly intent on harming us that they would take explosives to this level of planning. It makes me sick. It makes me want to hug my family close and hide from everyone. We just want to live a good, happy life. A simple life?

Those of you who know me, know that I work as a scientist and likely in what field I work. I entered this field in the post-9/11 aftermath because there was a huge shortage of US born scientists and because of the serious black hole of semiconductor jobs available. It wasn’t my original calling. I never expected when I went to grad school that this is where I would be or what I would be doing. Back then it was just a job and something I could move out of “when all this ends”. Over the last four and a half years it has become what I do, and over the next 30 years it will likely have become how I have made my life.

My mentor labeled me recently as “adaptable” and probably to a fault. I can pick nearly anything up and run with it. My level of knowledge may never reach the expert level, but I am competent in a very broad range of subjects. I was a physical chemist who never took a radiochemistry or nuclear physics class who came to work side by side with nuclear physicists and engineers. I was an expert in vacuum technology who has broken in as a supercritical fluids nut. (And they are ALL nuts.) And today, I am a theoretical surface scientist who has been pulled into explosives work.

Today my adaptability paid off. Today, the day that a major explosives plot was uncovered my gears have been switched. I sit here thrilled with the prospect of taking over the lead on a project for one of the preeminent explosives detection individuals in the world as he jet sets off to solve the present day problems. I sit here with mixed feelings as I see my career take off in a new and fascinating direction. Why? Because someone wanted to kill us. Mixed feelings. If this all went away, I would be out a job.

To hell with it. Go for it! Put me out of a job, I could always teach.

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