It's good my kids make me laugh...

Me putting Skadi to bed:

Skadi: "Mom, I need a song."

Me: "Never smile at a croco-"

Skadi: "No mom, I need a song-"

Me: "Twinkle twinkle little-"

Skadi: "No MOM! I need a song from daddy, go get him please."

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Me: "Skadi, why does the wind blow?"

Skadi: "Because it is rude that way."

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Me: "Where does snow come from?"

Skadi: "From the clouds."

Leif: "No Skadi it comes from little drops of water in the sky that dry out and turn to snow."

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Skadi: "Mommy, can we give me to Niranjana since she doesn't have a sister?"

Me: "Well if you were Niranjana's sister that means you wouldn't be my little girl anymore, you would be Auntie Melissa's little girl."

Skadi: "That's ok, I like Auntie Melissa."

Me: (Sob.)

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Me: "Skadi why is the sky blue?"

Skadi: "Because it is supposed to be."

Me: "Leif, why is the grass green?"

Leif: "Because that means it is healthy."

Me: "Well why is it brown now?"

Leif: "Because it hasn't rained in a long time."

Me: "Does that mean it isn't healthy."

Leif: (Sighing) "Mom, it means it is dormant."

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Leif: "Mom, I want to read 'The Lion, The Witch and the Warthog'."

Me: "I think you mean 'The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe'."

Leif: "No, I mean warthog, why would it be wardrobe?"

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Leif: "I have to have my snow gear today!"

Me: "Well it didn't really snow much, there's barely any out there."

Leif: "Well Ms. M said that if we brought our snow gear we could have a snowball fight!"

Me: "But there isn't enough snow for a snowball fight?"

Leif: "Well then why would she say we could have a snowball fight?"

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Me: "Skadi where were you before you were in my tummy?"

Skadi: "North America."

Me: "What were you doing?"

Skadi: "Just playing dolls and stuff."

Leif: "Mom, babies come from EITHER places or tummies."

Me: "No, all babies come from tummies."

Leif: "No mom, you are wrong, some come from places."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Leif: "Well we came from your tummy, but Niranjana came from India and that is a place."

Me: (Still haven't continued this conversation.)

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Me: "Skadi how are clouds made?"

Skadi: "By God."

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Me: "Skadi how do bushes grow?"

Skadi: "Up."

Leif: "From the ground Skadi, say from the ground, they grow from the ground, it is a trick question."

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Me: "Skadi why is the grass green?"

Skadi: "Because it is supposed to be."

Me: "Leif, why do the trees have leaves?"

Leif: "Because the tree sucks up water and water makes the leaves and the leaves catch more water and make more leaves and more leaves."

Me: "Sounds like you have a pretty firm grasp of science."

Leif: "Yeah, but I want to be a computer engineer spy who works for the CIA mom, I don't want to work with you anymore."